I Finally Learned How to Cultivate Myself

(Minghui.org) I started to practice Falun Dafa in July 1997. Since then, I changed from a middle-aged person to a senior. My xinxing was tempered in cultivation, and over time I became a better person. During the process of doing the three things that a practitioner should do, I gradually let go of my selfishness and ego, and moved towards the altruistic state that Master requires us to achieve. 

Effective Fa Study: Learning How to Cultivate 

I began to read Zhuan Falun, the main book of Falun Dafa, as soon as I obtained the Fa. For the past 20-plus years, I have not seen Master in person. As to how to walk every step well on my cultivation path, I could only figure it out and act on it by following Master’s Fa. 

I had to face tribulations when I was being persecuted by the depraved Chinese Communist Party (CCP) in a detention center, brainwashing center, and prison. During the most painful time, I did not fall down, but instead managed to pull myself together to walk every step perfectly. It was only because I thought of Dafa, Master’s teachings, that I could hold onto my faith, and break through my tribulations. Thus, I treated studying the Fa as the most important thing in my day-to-day life. 

I didn’t pursue any format in Fa-study. Whether I participated in a group Fa-study, or studied alone, I tried to calm my mind and stay focused. I didn’t hold onto any pursuit when studying the Fa. I understood that Master has put his boundless power and infinite wisdom into his teachings. As long as I took in every word into my heart, the Fa could help me eliminate my thought karma that I wouldn’t have found otherwise. When I could fill my thoughts with the Fa, I could calm down when it came to sending forth righteous thoughts and doing the exercises. Thus, clarifying the truth of Falun Dafa and helping people quit the CCP became easier. 

For most of the last year, I treated the things I encountered unlike before. In the past, I got stuck and couldn’t snap out of it when facing family conflicts. But now, I used Dafa’s principles to think about why the conflict happened. Was there any attachment that I needed to let go? 

For example, one day a family member repeatedly talked about other people in front of me. I then thought, “Why he is always like that? Does it have something to do with my not cultivating my speech?” After I began to look inward, I indeed found something: I had complaints about a relative. Whenever my husband mentioned the relative, I agreed and talked bad about the relative behind his back. 

Sometimes I had planned to do something, but suddenly had to go with my husband to deal with something else. Unlike before, when I thought it was interference to my Fa-study or doing the exercises, I now think everything a practitioner runs into is not accidental. So I just went with him. Then during the process, I ran into people with predestined relationships, and clarified the truth about Dafa to them. 

In my day-to-day life, since I looked inward and cultivated myself, I felt very fulfilled every day and was always in a good mood. When I ran into something that was not good, I could treat it with a peaceful mind.

Master said: 

“Remember that a holy being would never let anything affect him or her emotionally; worldly things simply don’t occupy a holy person’s mind. They will always be pleasant and upbeat, however badly they might be treated.” (The Ninth Talk, Zhuan Falun)

As my mindset changed, my appearance also transformed. Before that, I always looked seriously, as if I wasn’t happy. Other people didn’t like to talk to me, either. Now, I always have a peaceful smile on my face. When people see me, they can’t help but also smile. This also makes communicating with sentient beings easier. 

Eliminating Poisonous Elements of the CCP Indoctrination and Becoming Altruistic

I had been brainwashed by the CCP indoctrination at school since childhood. At work, what I said and did also could be construed as coming from the indoctrination I went through when watching the CCP regime. 

For a very long time, whenever fellow practitioners talked to me about the tribulations in their cultivation, I was always inclined to suggest my own approach to them, thinking it was for their benefit. Later, when I discovered that they didn’t adopt my suggestions, I became slightly irritated. At home, when things didn’t go my way, I always ended up having spats with others. When I talked to my children, I liked to force my opinion on them. If they were against it, I wasn’t happy, either. When I talked with another person, my tone was very aggressive, and I was in a rush to express my own opinions. I often cut into a conversation and interrupted other people whenever they said something. 

Although I read the Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party and Dismantling the Party’s Culture twice, I wondered why I still couldn’t change my bad habits related to the Party indoctrination. I was very worried. 

One day, I talked about this issue with another practitioner. She downloaded a video series for me from the Minghui website on letting go the indoctrination I experienced. I spent some time watching it after I got home. I also carefully read the e-book version of Dismantling the Party’s Culture. Then I understood. It turned out that I was impatient when I first read this e-book. I selected only some of its contents and skipped others. As a result, there were many of the CCP’s poisonous elements that I didn’t find. No wonder I couldn’t eliminate my competitive and show-off mentalities. 

Through carefully looking inward, I realized I was poisoned by the CCP’s indoctrination. I had a strong mentality of thinking too highly of myself. Whatever I did, the first thought was always about myself. After I found this attachment, whenever this kind of thought popped up, I immediately negated it deep down. Whenever I ran into a conflict that was difficult to resolve, I used what’s required by Dafa’s principles – putting others first, and putting myself in the other party’s shoes. Then, the conflict was more easily resolved. 

During this Chinese New Year, my mother-in-law, who is in her 90s, had COVID. She hardly got out of bed afterwards. So a few of her children and in-laws took turns taking care of her. She lived in the countryside. When it came to our turn, my husband was tied up with work, I went by myself to look after her. 

My mother-in-law was a strong lady. Whenever she needed something, she only talked to her daughters, not her in-laws, out of concern that she’d trouble others. But when she wasn’t happy, she still gave me the cold shoulder. When she did, I calmed my mind and tried to figure out why she wasn’t happy. I looked inward and realized there were some things I didn’t do well. For example, when she occasionally got out of bed and sat on the couch, I didn’t help her tidy up her bed. And for a few days she didn’t take a shower, and I wasn’t considerate enough to give her a sponge-bath instead. I also overlooked the fact that she changed her underclothes by herself, without giving her a hand. 

The next morning was sunny and warm. My mother-in-law got up to take a walk. I took this opportunity to take her two duvets out and put them under the sun. Seeing that, she had a smile on her face. At noontime, I turned on the air conditioner and got a basin of warm water, and then I gave her a sponge-bath. Every night, I took the initiative to help her wash and massage her feet. I also made meals that catered to her taste. She thought the fruits were cold and hard to chew, so she did not eat them. But upon seeing that she did not have a bowel movement for two days, I got very worried. So I cut an apple into slices and cooked them until they were soft enough for her, and gave them to her to eat. During the day, when she lay in bed and didn’t sleep, I went and chatted with her from time to time, so she didn’t feel lonely. 

With her eating more of her meals every day, she was also in a better mood. She began to recite the phrases, “Falun Dafa is wonderful! Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is wonderful!” in the morning and at night. After four days of taking care of her, she became more energetic and she stopped vomiting blood. Moreover, she got out of bed and sat at the table to eat. For her, at that age and that she had been vomiting blood on and off for more than a month, it was miraculous that she recovered within a few days. It was truly a blessing she received from Dafa!

When it was time for both my brother-in-law and sister-in-law to take care of her, I washed their bed cover and duvets to welcome them. My sister-in-law used to be opinionated about my helping people quit the CCP, and wasn’t friendly. This time when they saw what I did for them, she was very happy. She also took the initiative to help me wash the dishes after lunch, so I could have the time to send forth righteous thoughts. I realized that when I had the competitive and show-off mentalities that are embraced because of the CCP indoctrination, and my attachment to my ego, I used to not ever think of being considerate of others. When I did things without any notions, let go of my own ego, and thought more about others, there were less conflicts with others, and things worked out better. 

Saving Sentient Beings with Rationality 

As influenced by the Party indoctrination, which teaches one to show great success and do superficial things, I was very attached to the outcome of my truth-clarification and saving sentient beings. Sometimes I caused other people to have a misunderstanding, even to the point of being disrespectful to Dafa. 

A relative was diagnosed with cancer. I previously helped both her and her husband quit the CCP and its youth organizations. But this time I planned to advise her to recite the phrases to save her life. So I brought informational materials and Zhuan Falun with me when I went to see her. Her son who had just returned from an overseas trip was under quarantine. Therefore, they didn’t let me in. Without getting consent from her, I left Zhuan Falun and the informational materials with her husband to give to her. Probably out of politeness, her husband didn’t reject them to my face. I learned later that soon after I left, he tossed all of them into the garbage can. Thus, she didn’t get to see any of them. 

This hurt me so much! I didn’t pay enough attention to how I was saving people. I not only didn’t save them, but also pushed them away, as far away as having them commit a new sin towards Dafa without realizing it. 

Now, when I talk to people about Dafa, I do so on the foundation of studying the Fa and sending forth righteous thoughts well. I paid attention to articulating things well and making myself understood. Regardless of whether the other person was someone I knew or not, I followed the other person’s topic of interest, listened to how he or she expressed himself or herself, then found the opportunity to bring up the truth-clarification. Then I helped them quit the CCP to ensure their safety. Thus, when I put my heart into what I did, even though I might not end up helping a lot of people quit the CCP, whoever I helped would hear the truth. 

Sometimes I didn’t have time to help them quit the CCP, so I’d sincerely tell them the six Dafa phrases to recite, so they would escape the calamity. Then I told them that Falun Dafa had been framed by the CCP, and one should never listen to the fabricated propaganda on TV, but should instead treat Dafa practitioners kindly. When I had truly kind thoughts of compassionately saving people, what I said was well received by people. They acknowledged it by appreciating what I did. 

At the end of last year when COVID surged again, I noticed that most of those who learned the truth and quit the CCP got through last winter safe and sound. Even though some of them were infected, their symptoms were very minor, and they recovered quickly. During this chaotic period of time, treating Dafa kindly and choosing to quit the CCP to ensure one’s safety is following heaven’s will. 

Eliminating Lust and Getting an Illness Karma Tribulation 

Last spring, a small black mole grew on my face, and it itched from time to time. I sent forth righteous thoughts about it a few times, but it didn’t work. I became very worried, and always thought about it. I realized it was an attachment. Then I went to the dermatology department to have it removed through a small surgery. After that, the hospital biopsy showed it was a basal cell carcinoma, also known as skin cancer.

After I looked at this test result repeatedly, I was in shock. I cried on my way home. How could I develop cancer cells? I considered myself to be cultivating well, so why did I get this result? Of course, I couldn’t see it as cancer. I have cultivated for so many years, and Master has constantly purified my body, how could such an illness karma appear? First of all, I thought I probably had loopholes in my belief in Master and Dafa, which was taken advantage of by the evil old forces in other dimensions and consequently caused this illness karma illusion. 

After I left the hospital, I didn’t disclose the results to my family, but went directly to see a fellow practitioner and talked to her. She agreed with my thoughts and suggested I go home to look inward. After I got home, I carefully examined my every thought. Then I realized I had doubt about this passage of the Fa: 

Master said:

“If I’m allowed to tease a little, I’d say that young women will naturally achieve the beautiful skin tone they’re always after, provided they sincerely do mind-body practice—and without needing to go to the lengths they once did.” (The Fifth Talk, Zhuan Falun)

Because I didn’t truly believe what Master said, it was reflected in my behavior. I always put on some light make up before going out. I also made excuses to justify it: I didn’t cultivate to that stage yet, so I put on makeup to present a good image to people. I didn’t want to let Dafa down. Thus, in my day-to-day life, I didn’t feel like going out without putting on some make-up. Because of it, I often ended up shopping online for some brand-name cosmetics.

Upon digging inward deeper, I realized it came down to the attachment of lust. I often bought clothes online, which resulted in wasting a lot of precious time and Dafa resources. I liked to be praised by others. When I showed up in a public place, I liked to look good. It was because my competitive mentality, show off mentality, pursuit of fame, and jealousy were all very strong. I had a one-sided understanding of the Fa-principle that Master said about women needing to be groomed, and I used it to protect my lustful attachments. Before the minor operation, as long as I applied whitening cream, my skin always felt tight, and I had to wash my face as soon as I got home from outside.

The test result from the hospital was actually a wake-up call from Master! I put it away, then promised Master deep down: I will eliminate my lust and stop putting on make-up. I will be more sincere. 

Soon enough, I got used to going out without putting on any make-up. Every day, I made sure I did all five sets of the exercises well. Then my complexion became more fair and bright. The universal Dafa is omnipotent; as long as I have strong faith in Master and Dafa, and do things by following the standards of the Fa, then any miracle can occur. 

Thank you, Master!