(Minghui.org) Four years ago I nearly died of torture in a brainwashing center because I refused to disclose the whereabouts of another Falun Dafa practitioner. With righteous thoughts, I was able to leave the brainwashing center ten days after I was arrested by agents from the local 610 Office.
It was my first time in a brainwashing center and I did not know what to do except remember what Master said about not cooperating with the evildoers. I went on a hunger strike and remained silent no matter what others said to threaten or encourage me to give up my faith. An elderly man who watched the door for the center knew one of my family members who used to be incarcerated there because he refused to renounce Falun Dafa. He told me what happened to them and tried to get me to talk. He also sneaked in a bowl of soup and said that no one would notice if I took a little sip.
To be honest, I started having second thoughts, as it was my third day on a hunger strike. As I was trying to convince myself that no one would find out if I drank the soup, it suddenly occurred to me that divine beings were surrounding me and watching me. I believed that Master would protect me and hunger would not hurt me—and that I did nothing wrong and should negate the evil. In the next few days I never felt hungry.
After I refused the soup, I recited the Fa teachings to myself and stared at the barred window, imagining how miracles could happen and that I’d be able to leave. I was so eager to leave that place, not knowing that this attachment was what was keeping me there.
Agents from the provincial 610 Office and Domestic Security came to talk to me and promised that I’d be released soon and should eat something. My strong attachment blinded me and I believed them. The day after I ate, they took turns interrogating me with no intention of letting me go. I felt so ashamed for believing their lies, so ashamed that I wanted to end my life. I refused to answer their questions and signed no documents.
Seeing that I refused to cooperate, they threatened to torture me and put me in prison. I got a little scared, but I remembered that I should pay no attention to what they say, and should only follow Master’s words. I remained calm. After they left, several soft-spoken women came in to talk to me and tried to provide help for me in the center. No matter how they treated me, I said nothing. I could not let them commit the crime of forcing a faithful person to renounce his faith.
“If your righteous thoughts are truly strong, if you’re able to put aside the thought of life and death, and if you’re solid and unshakable like diamond, then those evil beings won’t dare to touch you...” (Teachings From a Tour of North America)
Five days into my hunger strike, it appeared that I had a heart problem and I became stiff. They did not want to be held responsible if I died in the center and called an ambulance. At the hospital the doctor couldn’t find what was wrong with me and sent me back to the center the next day. As soon as I returned to the center, the symptoms of heart problems resurfaced. I did not feel any pain at the time, except that I couldn’t move, and looked purple. I had no fear because I knew that Master created this illusion for a reason. The doctor at the hospital still couldn’t figure out what was wrong with me, and I was transported back and forth a few times.
The authorities at the center bought an oxygen generator for me but would not release me. It was then that I realized that the old forces had exploited my attachment to wanting to go home and used it to keep me there.
“If I do not care whether I am going to die or not, why am I afraid of staying here? What difference does it make where I am?” The moment this thought emerged, I felt like I had entered a beautiful realm where I did not have to worry about myself. A weight was lifted off my shoulders, and I felt relaxed and comfortable.
Meanwhile, I felt sorry for those people who persecuted me. While they seemed to pity me as they surrounded me looking worried, believing that I was on the verge of death, they had to continue persecuting me because they were paid to do so. Wanting to show them the kindness of a Falun Dafa practitioner, I said, “My situation has put you in a dilemma. I do not blame you for what you did to me, because I know that you have your reasons, and families to feed. You all know that I am here unjustly, yet your superiors will not release me and will hold you responsible if I die. That being said, l still won’t cooperate. And I apologize for that.”
I was a dying person trying to console his executioner. After I said what I did, I felt the room fill with a powerful compassionate energy. One of the bystanders had tears in her eyes and ran outside. I later heard that she went to her superior and asked him to release me because of my poor health. I am truly happy knowing that her life was saved.
Because the doctors at the hospital couldn’t find out what was wrong with me, people at the 610 Office thought that I was faking. They had another doctor come to the brainwashing center to examine me, and threatened to hurt me if the doctor discovered that I was only pretending to be ill. They did not scare me. After examining me, that doctor said that I was in a critical condition because I had almost no pulse or heartbeat.
The guards panicked and called the 610 Office. The head of the 610 Office came and asked if I wanted to go home. I knew the trick he was trying to pull. He had asked me the same question several times before, and each time I told him I did, my request was denied. This time I let go of the attachment and replied, “No, I thought it through and want to stay here. I am dying anyway and prefer to stay here until I die.”
“He goes home immediately,” he told the guards. “Call his local officials to come and pick him up. He leaves today.” With my unwavering determination, I was released ten days after I was arrested.
Before I left, the person who tortured me the worst whispered to me, “We truly respect you, because you did not reveal a thing about other practitioners, even at the risk of your life.” Looking at their faces, I realized that the evildoers are watching our practitioners’ every move and that our selfless behavior can move their hearts and elicit their respect for us.
My experience in the brainwashing center gave me a better understanding of what Master said:
“What I’m telling you is that when you’re truly able to let go of the thought of life or death you can do anything!” (“Fa Teaching Given at the Metropolitan New York Fa Conference,” Collected Teachings Given Around the World Volume III)
Falun Dafa practitioners should take every step on their cultivation path with dignity, and have faith in Master and the Fa. We should not only improve ourselves, but also save the sentient beings and show them the magnificence and wonder of Falun Dafa.
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