Deeply Reflecting on My Cultivation State

(Minghui.org) I’d like to share my understanding after I read the two most recent articles published by Master, “Stay Far Away From Peril” and “Cultivation in Dafa Is Serious.”

I began practicing Falun Dafa before 1999. I was happy and felt I was the luckiest being in the universe. I carefully read the Fa (teachings), and cultivated myself according to the requirements of the Fa. My behavior and outlook on life improved and soon all my diseases were gone.

The persecution of Falun Dafa was launched on July 20, 1999. I did not listen to the CCP (Chinese Communist Party) propaganda. I knew that Falun Dafa is the true, and great Fa; Master came to do Fa-rectification and save all sentient beings in the universe.

Along with local practitioners, I firmly followed Master and walked on the path of helping Master rectify the Fa, expose the persecution, save people, and validate Dafa.

I was persecuted, and was repeatedly harassed, and barred from my workplace, harassed by local police, and police from the district and municipal levels, officers from the Domestic Security Division, 610 Office, and the CCP’s Political and Legal Affairs committees. I was repeatedly sent to brainwashing centers and detention centers.

I experienced the happiness of validating Dafa and the joy of saving sentient beings. I also momentarily fell and walked on the wrong path. When I didn’t do well I felt regret and frustration. But, I got up and continued to walk forward. I did not slack off. I always followed Master’s requirements and tried to do the three things well. I was eventually able to correct myself in the Fa and became diligent again.

But later, when the environment got easier, I relaxed and gradually slacked off. I started to pursue comfort, thinking that there was still time to cultivate. I was living an ordinary life. Gradually, I couldn’t study the Fa calmly, as if the previous disease karma has returned to me. When I encountered tribulations, I measured them with ordinary people’s notions. I also felt pained, but I couldn’t improve. I felt that I had reached the brink of danger in recent years.

Master said in “Stay Far Away From Peril”:

“Although some individuals are within the environment of Dafa disciples, they haven’t actually entered into genuine cultivation, and at crucial moments, they always use human attachments, human notions, and human emotions to evaluate things; some even claim, “I’ve done such and such for Dafa, I’ve contributed so much to Dafa,” and so on.”

Master said in “Cultivation in Dafa Is Serious”:

“Those who cultivate well will achieve consummation and return to their positions in the new cosmos to command their own heavenly kingdoms. Those who fail in cultivation, break their vows, or commit sins against Dafa must honor the promise they made with their lives! It’s just that Master is merciful and has been giving them chances all this time. Yet they don’t know to be grateful and keep clinging to their attachments ever so tightly without letting go.”

After reading this teaching, I was shocked. I told myself that I must catch up, cultivate well, and strive to fulfill my mission and my vows.

Looking Inward to Get Rid of My Attachments

When I looked inward, I found the following attachments:

1. I was attached to time. I hoped that cultivation would end soon, but I also feared the end. Because of the long-term high-pressure environment in China, I became depressed. Sometimes when I was harassed I worried about being persecuted, and I hoped it would end soon. But, I also felt that my cultivation was not good enough, and I was afraid of what might happen when it ended. All I thought about was myself. I was not able to cherish the time to save people and cultivate myself. This time is given by Master for us through His endurance.

2. I was deeply poisoned by atheism. Although I can see somethings through my celestial eye, under the influence of atheism, I sometimes still had doubts in my heart, and I could not believe in the Fa 100 percent. Sometimes when a doubt jumped into my mind, as soon as this thought surfaced, I grasped it and rejected it. I told myself that this thought was not mine. I sent righteous thoughts to destroy it, and asked Master for help.

3. I was heavily influenced by the Party culture. I didn’t think about others when I encountered problems. I measured others with my notions. I was jealous if they did better than me, and I looked down on others if I did better than them. In short, I put myself on a pedestal.

4. After more than 20 years of cultivation, the starting point of my thoughts was still at the everyday people’s level. When I looked at problems, or thought about problems, my notions were all focused on people. I failed to measure them against the Fa. I did not treat hardship and difficulty as good things, and I still wanted to live a “comfortable” life.

5. I had many attachments that I couldn’t let go of, such as jealousy, self-interest, fame-seeking, fighting, showing off, speaking casually, being self-centered, and so on. Once I read sharing articles from practitioners on Minghui about looking for one’s fundamental attachment, and I also wanted to find my fundamental attachment, but I couldn’t find it. I begged Master to point it out for me. All of sudden, some thoughts came into my mind: “Money, fame, social status.” Ah, those were my fundamental attachments. Aren’t those fundamental attachments to an everyday people’s life? I was really too far behind in cultivation.

These two lectures shocked me deeply. The Fa-rectification has come to the end, so we must let go of human notions, emerge from among everyday people, and cultivate well. Hurry up and cultivate ourselves, save people, fulfill our sacred vows, and go home with Master.

If I said anything inappropriate, please compassionately correct me.

Editor’s note: This article only represents the author’s understanding in their current cultivation state meant for sharing among practitioners so that we can “Compare with one another in study, in cultivation.” (“Solid Cultivation,” Hong Yin)