Letting Go of the Emotional Attachment to My Son

(Minghui.org) My son moved out on the sixth day of the Lunar New Year. Before leaving, he offered incense and kowtowed to the picture of Master Li, Falun Dafa’s founder, and thanked him for his protection and help throughout the years. Looking at his empty room, my eyes became teary as I thought about the past.

It was difficult to let go of the love for my son after so many years. I wanted him to be successful, and I was frustrated with him for failing to meet my expectations. I made demands on him and when I didn’t see the results I wanted, I complained and felt resentful. I had all kinds of attachments and desires, and I couldn’t get rid of them.

After my son returned home from military service, he locked himself in his room and didn’t interact with anyone. He slept till past noon, ate one meal a day, smoked, and played video games until the middle of the night. He spent his time like this day after day.

No matter how much I did for him, he treated me with disapproval and indifference. His cold and uncaring attitude made me angry and bitter. So when his words and actions didn’t meet my standards, I corrected him harshly.

I wanted him to change according to my criteria and I forced my views on him. Needless to say, he rebelled and fought back. Conflicts kept arising and our relationship deteriorated.

I thought I was right, told him how to behave, and refused to listen to his opinions and advice. I believed I was infallible. Attachments to reputation, self-interest, and emotions took over me, and the old forces meddled with our lives. I was trapped emotionally and couldn’t tell the difference between my real and fake self.

Master said:

“For one, you don’t have the power to change another person’s life or fate, ultimately, even if they are your closest of kin. Could you really change a person’s destiny?” (The Fourth Talk, Zhuan Falun)

I read this part many times. Life comes and goes in the cycle of life and death, and human beings suffer amid love-hate relationships. The earth is the place where we collect and repay debts from the past.

I continued to study the Fa and send righteous thoughts every day to eliminate the wicked elements behind my attachments and negative thoughts about my son. I asked Master to help me remove the demonic nature that was surfacing in me.

I searched inward and noticed my strong emotional attachment to my son. I wanted him to love me, accept me, and obey me. I still wanted to have a good life, enjoy a happy family life, and bask in the glory and joy my son could bring me. But my son and I are only related because of a past karmic relationship. His belligerent behavior towards me was for the purpose of helping me cultivate and improve.

My son went for an interview not long ago, and I stayed with him for a few days. He was under a lot of pressure and had a hard time memorizing the answers to the questions. He became frustrated and quarreled with me, making a big deal out of small things.

Although he was in a bad mood, I didn’t argue with him or say a word to comfort him. I just let him vent and listened quietly. It was something he had to go through, and I knew I was being tested, so I managed to stay calm.

My sister-in-law, from Inner Mongolia, brought her daughter to visit me recently. The daughter was unruly, capricious, and willful towards her mother. She got angry and upset easily, and was a picky eater. There was food at home, but she ordered takeout meals and drank milk tea instead of water. She spent money like water, was on her mobile phone all the time, and did whatever she wanted.

My sister-in-law did whatever her daughter asked her do to, and didn’t dare to show her anger. She tried to keep a smile and avoided using unpleasant words. My sister-in-law almost fell apart, yet agreed to all kinds of unreasonable demands from her child as she continued to pamper and indulge her.

Emotional attachments can drive people crazy. I saw it with my own eyes and knew that Master was showing me how selfish, terrible, and unbearable attachments can be. If a cultivator does not let go of emotion, he or she will be wrapped up and trapped in the abyss of sentimentality, and the opportunity to cultivate will be lost. Does any Falun Dafa practitioner want to jeopardize their cultivation in that way?

Human life is meant for returning to one’s true self via cultivation. There are many important characters in my script, and my son is one of them. He has been against me, challenged me, and helped me every step of the way in my cultivation. He made me improve my xinxing, and I thank him.

The prelude to Fa-rectification of the human world has already begun. I will try my best to do the three things well, cultivate diligently, and return home with Master.