A Sudden Tribulation Tested My Attachments

(Minghui.org) I would like to take this opportunity to share my unforgettable, ground-shaking cultivation experience, which lasted for 15 minutes under the watchful eyes of many practitioners. Kindly correct me if there is any room for improvement.

In 2005, some local coordination issues needed to be discussed, so we planned a day to meet. Many practitioners came, and the house was filled to capacity. I knew some of the practitioners, while some were unfamiliar faces. Among them was a practitioner who displayed very serious illness symptoms, but she did not know how to work through them from the perspective of a cultivator.

I was the last to arrive, so there was no place for me to sit. So I stood in a corner by a small bed that was against the door. I was standing opposite this practitioner with illness symptoms. I thought to myself, “Wow, there are so many people!”

Not long after, I found a seat. Then a practitioner said, “Let’s start and send forth righteous thoughts first.” Everyone started to sit in the full lotus position and was getting ready to send righteous thoughts. Just then, this practitioner raised her head and asked me, “How do you send forth righteous thoughts? What do you say?”

Seeing that she looked very anxious, I told her softly, “You just say, ‘…’ and think about eliminating evil factors, etc.” At that moment, a loud scolding voice shocked everyone, “Don’t say that anymore!” The voice was sufficient to scare all the practitioners, including me.

My top leg dropped down, and I just froze there in shock. Everyone looked at him, then looked at me in unison. The whole atmosphere suddenly became very tense. I did not know what to do, and my mind went blank. My face blushed in embarrassment as I looked around at all the practitioners. I did not say anything but just lowered my head, sat back into full lotus position, and continued to send forth righteous thoughts.

During those 15 minutes, I seemed to experience something I never felt before. I became dizzy and my face turned red. Every cell in my body was trembling, and thoughts flashed through my mind like currents. Feelings of embarrassment, losing face, shame, and great discomfort overcame me. I wished there was a crack in the floor I could squirm into at that instant. Losing face in front of so many practitioners was extremely embarrassing. Tears welled up in my eyes, and I wondered how I could continue to stay in the room.

Just then, I heard a strong voice in my mind say, “Let’s leave. Let’s go home. Let’s get out of here quickly. I should not have come right from the start. Quick, go!” Then another voice replied, “Go? Where can I go? I arrived late, and I even spoke when everyone was supposed to be sending forth righteous thoughts. What will all the practitioners think if I left? I cannot leave!” Just like that, I was stuck between leaving and not leaving.

I then remembered a passage from Master Li’s lecture:

“I recall someone once telling me that he could take getting publicly humiliated as long as nobody he knew was there to see it. But that’s not good enough. You might one day get slapped in the face and disgraced right in front of those whom you would least want to see it. How you handle it would be revealing and show how composed you are. To really make the grade, you would have to not only keep your composure but also not let it get to you.” (The Ninth Talk, Zhuan Falun)

I said to Master Li (Falun Dafa’s founder) in my heart, “Master, I don’t want this attachment to saving face. Isn’t it related to fame and gain? I don’t want them. I will just listen to Master’s guidance for everything.” The moment this thought came out, I seemed to have become another person. My mind became clear, and I was very steady. Honestly speaking, I did not really know how to cultivate during those years. Thinking back now, during that last thought, I chose a righteous thought. So Master instantly got rid of my human attachments, notions, and bad elements that surfaced in my mind.

This coincided with the time for our sending forth righteous thoughts ending. However, no one said a word. Although all the practitioners looked at me, my mind remained very steady. I just slowly pressed my palms together in front of my chest, smiled, and said, “Sorry everyone, I did not spare a thought for all of you. I was wrong. Please forgive me.”

Just then, the practitioner with the fake illness symptoms said, “It was not totally your fault. I was the one who asked for help.” Another practitioner chimed in, “Yes, it was not your fault. Why are you apologizing?” Then someone else said, “He did not mean it.” Many people spoke. I replied, “Okay everyone, stop speaking for me. I’m fine. Let’s study the Fa now.” That ended the whole commotion.

After the experience-sharing session ended, all but five or six of the practitioners went home. The male practitioner who scolded me walked up to me and said, “I’m sorry. I did not behave properly today. Please disregard my improper behavior.” I replied, “No problem. I need to thank you, instead.”

On the way home, I kept thinking about what happened as every scene flashed through my mind. When I reached a junction, a crisp and clear voice suddenly sounded above my head,

“...Brush off the enshrouding dust,and all their realities are seen ...”(“Descending to the Earthly World,” Hong Yin II)

I said to myself, “It’s Master speaking. This is His Fa! Master!” I quickly drove across the junction with my heart thumping in excitement and tears rolling down my cheeks. I kept saying in my heart, “Thank you, Master. Thank you, Master. Thank you, Master!” It took a long time before I managed to calm down.

That night, I had a dream in which I was taking a stroll on the beach. The sand was very coarse and white such that it shimmered with silver light. Suddenly, a large pile of something appeared in front of me. The pile was covered by a layer of red skin, and I quickly went up to take a closer look. It was a huge pile of peanuts.

I bent over and blew a big breath, and the layer of red surface skin disappeared, revealing big, white, well-fried peanuts. I even grabbed a handful of them and put them in my mouth. When I woke up, my mouth was still chewing. At that moment, I understood I had improved my cultivation level. Master was encouraging me!

I now realize how important it is to study the Fa. If I did not have a solid foundation and Master’s empowerment, I definitely would not have been able to pass this xinxing test. So no matter what situation we might meet, as long as we place our focus on the Fa and are able to tolerate hardship, we will definitely not bring shame to our mission.