Hardships and Joys Experienced on the Cultivation Path

(Minghui.org) I am a young practitioner and senior student at Fei Tian College Middletown, majoring in data science. I have been on the cultivation path for almost six years.

Balancing School, Cultivation, and Work

I first visited Fei Tian College during the 2019 Fahui. After seeing the school, I was very excited and thought to myself, “I would be extremely happy to take part in a project like this.”

Fast forward a few months. My hope came true as I was admitted to the school. I felt extremely fortunate and grateful that Master Li (Falun Dafa’s founder) had arranged for me to attend.

Moving to Middletown and attending school was a leap of faith as I didn’t know anyone there, and I only had enough financial backing to stay in the school for one semester, after which I wouldn’t be able to afford the tuition and the living expenses. Even though I knew this, I had a feeling that Master had arranged for me to come to the school. I understood that many of the challenges I was facing in attending were a form of interference.

I was under a lot of pressure during my first semester at school since I wasn’t sure how I was going to afford to stay in the school unless I received a stream of income. I was taking 18 credit hours and working on other Dafa projects at the same time. As the school semester was nearing its end, I became more anxious and worried about how I could possibly stay in the school. I feared that perhaps my coming here was a self-imposed tribulation as I knew before coming that paying for the school tuition would be problematic.

One day after studying the Fa, I enlighten to the principle that whether I should be here or not wasn’t much of a personal choice, but rather, it was a question of whether Master wanted me to be here or not.

Master taught in Teachings at the Conference in Australia,

“In cultivation the path has been arranged, but not passing tests well is due to self-imposed factors. Cultivation is a very complicated thing, so not every case is going to be the same, nor could the things that have happened to one person happen to another. The same thing can’t possibly be dealt with in the same way, because you are, after all, cultivating in delusion. If everything were the same, then the delusion would be broken. All of you would know what to do: “Oh, someone else has handled it that way and did very well. That’s how I’ll do it.” Then that wouldn’t be cultivation.” (Teachings at the Conference in Australia)

I came to understand that my attending Fei Tian was in fact what Master required of me. I shouldn’t be overly attached to finding ways of staying. After all, being attached would only bring more self-imposed tribulations. As I started to give up this attachment, at least partially, a fellow practitioner recommended that I work in the nearby mall and that she would be able to introduce me to the store manager.

I had an interview with the store manager and could negotiate a fairly competitive salary. After calculating the amount of money I would be receiving, it came to my surprise that it would be just the amount for paying for most of my expenses. I understood at once that it was arranged; I was very grateful and could feel that Master was encouraging me.

Nevertheless, balancing this new job, schoolwork, and other Dafa projects was not easy. During weekdays I would be at school most of the time, either taking classes, doing homework, as well as handling different assignments. On weekends I would work, and do a lot of homework after arriving home. Initially, I felt very motivated to keep up this schedule, but after a period of time, it began to wear me down.

When winter arrived, the burnout was very evident. For me, wintertime was not easy, as I was used to the warm weather of Mexico and the heat of Arizona, where I lived for some years. I can still recall those weekends after work when I walked back home from the bus station in the thick snow, shivering and wishing it to be warmer. However, I knew that this was a good opportunity for me to improve my xinxing and endure some tribulations, but it was difficult to fully put my needs into practice.

I understood that all these hardships were all part of the cultivation process, and I should instead be happy to have these opportunities to improve. Keeping up this balance was not easy and as time went on I started to slack off in my cultivation, prioritizing school above all else and sometimes missing out on Fa study and daily exercises. I thought that my school assignments were more important. And even though I was spending a considerable amount of time and energy on school, I was doing rather poorly than before.

After taking one midterm, I noticed what was going on. During the midterm, I knew full well that I wasn’t doing very well, and I felt very disappointed in myself. A few hours later as I was walking in the hallway, I saw the professor. He started to walk towards me with a smile on his face. In my mind, I expected him to express his disappointment and inform me about how badly I had performed. But to my surprise, the first thing he asked me was, “When was the last time you studied the Fa?” This instantly shocked me, and I realized this was Master giving me a hint. Indeed, I had been slacking off in my Fa study, and even the times I studied the Fa, I didn’t concentrate. During Fa study I had many scattered thoughts regarding work, school, and life which kept me from focusing. After this, I understood that the reason why I was doing poorly in school was that I was doing poorly in my cultivation.

I had always heard stories and read articles on the Minghui website about people that wholeheartedly prioritized their cultivation and Fa study which helped them to perform well in their work or studies. Of course, I believed it, but I had failed to put it into practice. After looking within I was truly disappointed that I wasn’t able to notice my shortcomings!

I found within myself attachments to comfort, complacency, losing face, and pursuit. I took it upon myself to prioritize Fa study and exercises. In the morning, I would play the two-hour exercise music online and I would read a whole lecture daily, in addition to studying supplemental materials.

Though it wasn’t instant, I began to take notice that as my cultivation state was improving it was easier to pay attention in my classes and to finish homework and assignments without much difficulty.

As practitioners, we should be attentive to how we balance our life, cultivation, and other duties in ordinary human society. We can’t go to extremes, yet we also cannot become complacent. We should prioritize Fa study in our lives, and only then can we do things correctly.

Changing Environment, Changing Cultivation

When we faced the COVID-19 pandemic, and school was moved online, I found again that my cultivation state had worsened. I had also lost my job and the situation around me seemed unclear. In retrospect, I was rather confused about what was going on; I was unsure what I was to do, and my faith and righteous thoughts were unstable. While I kept up my Fa study and exercises alongside my brother, I still felt that though I was doing the three things I wasn’t making much progress.

As the semester ended, I decided to return back to my hometown in Mexico for the summer. At the time, Fei Tian was offering online courses, which I decided to take while I was there. A friend’s house was vacant for the summer, and they allowed me to stay there. I was to stay there alone over the summer.

I obtained the Fa almost six years ago. When I first took up the practice, I never found it difficult to be strict with myself when studying the Fa and doing the exercises. Even if no one was around, I found it useless to do anything else other than study Fa or do exercises. I considered myself to be vigilant of my thoughts and strict with myself. I realize now that at the time I was a very zealous practitioner, yet the heart that I had was truly admirable.

After staying in an environment with many practitioners, however, it is very easy for one to become dependent on the environment to support one's cultivation. This is not something that I had become aware of, but after returning to Mexico I noticed that there was a lot more mental resistance to doing the three things, compared to the times when other practitioners are present. I realized I had grown dependent on the environment for my cultivation!

Master taught in Teachings at the First Conference in North America,

“Your environment is created by you yourself. It is surely good to have more people cultivating together. People can exchange views, learn from one another, help one another improve, and talk about things that have happened in cultivation. That will heighten one’s confidence in cultivation. At the same time, there is a strong energy field when the exercises are done in a group, and that definitely benefits practitioners, for sure. If a person does his cultivation on his own, he may neglect it when he gets busy or does the exercises irregularly, doing them at inconsistent times. Whatever the case, he is undoubtedly more sluggish.” (Teachings at the First Conference in North America)

In the beginning, I would try my best to stay diligent, but as time went by I spent more time on my computer or phone. I was either watching movies or videos on YouTube. When I noticed I had become lax, I took it upon myself to join daily online Fa study with fellow young practitioners hoping that I would stay persistent in my Fa study schedule. This helped a lot and I was very grateful for having such an opportunity. Even though I was studying Fa online and sharing with other practitioners online, I could still feel a very powerful field whenever I did it.

Taking Hardship as Joy

Feeling lonely, I began to spend more time with friends and doing different activities for everyday people. Many times, I would return to my secluded forest home late at night, after the online Fa study had finished. Being tired, and making excuses for myself, I would sometimes skip Fa study for that day.

As I spent more time with ordinary people, I also spent more time doing things to “enjoy life”. I was very comfortable. I saw Middletown as a cold place where I had to work every hour of the day, surrounded by people of a distinctly different culture, who spoke a language I didn’t understand. Now, I was back in the warm weather, surrounded by friends, fun activities, good food, and speaking my mother tongue. I thought to myself, “Middletown sucks, all I do is suffer there, why am I even there? Why in the world did I choose to go there,” among many other similar thoughts. I even had thoughts of dropping out of school and starting a new life back in Mexico.

Master taught,

“When you don’t keep up in Fa-study sometimes, you will have many ordinary human attachments, and all sorts of human thoughts might even emerge. If you use human thinking to approach, or do, whatever it is that you’re faced with—including even things of great importance—it will, with time, be hard to have success with the projects that you are doing. If you don’t study the Fa, the number of ordinary human attachments that you have will grow, and become increasingly pronounced, just as you will come to resemble an ordinary person more and more.” (“Dafa Disciples Must study the Fa”, Collected Teachings Given Around the World Volume XI)

I was precisely the person Master described. My thoughts resembled those of everyday people more and more. I had forgotten even the most basic Fa principles Master has taught! Why was I scared of suffering? Why was I pursuing comfort and happiness? Why couldn’t I realize that these thoughts were wrong? Obviously, my mind was in the wrong place.

Luckily, I was able to awaken from the delusion after a conversation with a fellow practitioner, and I continued to join the online Fa study as much as I could. Eventually, I regained my mental footing and rationality. I felt very ashamed of having held such thoughts. If it was Master's arrangement for me to be in Middletown, why was I complaining about it? By not following Master's arrangements, wasn’t I following the old forces' arrangements? My gaps had been exploited. I realized that all of these negative thoughts I had were precisely the old forces trying to keep me from returning to Middletown and returning to Fei Tian.

As summer was nearing its end, the start of the school semester was approaching. Without an announcement, many of my friends decided to throw a going away party for me. Without much choice, I had to attend.

As I had expected, most of my friends were smoking and drinking. I was trying to have a good time, chatting with them while I sipped on my green tea. Seeing this, however, helped me rekindle some of my diligence. It helped me remember my past before obtaining the Fa, at a time when I would be doing exactly the same as my friends. This was a good experience to reflect and to honestly ask myself what I wanted. Did I want to stay here? Enjoy the pleasures of life and have fun. Or did I want to elevate and cultivate, taking hardship as joy, and assisting Master to save sentient beings? At that moment, the choice was easy.

As I contemplated all of this, a close friend approached me and asked, “What’s wrong?” I looked around the table, and I felt a deep feeling of compassion toward my friends. Even though all of my friends know Dafa and know that it’s good, none has been able to take up the practice. I thought it was unfortunate that all these high-level beings had come down to obtain the Fa, but were now deeply lost in delusion. I looked my friend in the eyes and peacefully said, “You are all high-level beings that have come to the human world but are lost in the delusion, I find it very sad.” Without saying a word, she started shedding tears. I knew that her true self could clearly understand what I meant.

It was truly as Master has said,

“If you speak to others out of your kindheartedness, entirely without any selfishness or your own self-interest, and completely for the sake of others, your words will move others to tears.” (Teachings at the Conference of Changchun Assistants)

After this experience, I knew I had to return to Middletown, I had to fulfill my vows and follow Master's arrangement.

Joy of Facing Hardship

My cultivation journey over the past six years has been a constant journey of hardship and joy. I feel incredibly fortunate to have obtained the Fa and to be a part of various Dafa projects. I hope my experiences are of benefit to you and that we can all improve as one body.

Thank you, Master. Thank you, fellow practitioners.

(From 2023 Fei Tian College Middletown Falun Dafa Experience Sharing Conference)