Dafa Saved Me from a Lifetime of Suffering

(Minghui.org) When college entrance examinations resumed in China in 1977, I managed to gain admission into a college in the provincial capital and moved there from my rural hometown. After graduation, I was assigned an enviable job in one of the largest state-owned enterprises in China. I became friends with an older colleague who worked in the same research institute and was introduced to her younger brother. I married him some time later.

The Fickleness of Human Nature

My marriage became unbearable immediately after the birth of my daughter. I had lost a lot of blood from postpartum bleeding and was extremely weak. My constant companions at home were my over 70-year-old deaf father-in-law and my physically disabled mother-in-law. Thick slabs of ice hung from the walls of our small house. I lay in bed, cold and hungry, anticipating a hot bowl of porridge from my husband, or his help to take over the care of our child. Yet as soon as he returned home, my sister-in-law (the older colleague) forced him to start studying Japanese language texts.

I started experiencing severe gynecological conditions after my second miscarriage. Pus and blood would exude from my lower body. I experienced frequent dizziness, rheumatism with pain so severe, I had to take time off work each spring. I had severe kidney problems that resulted in my head being swollen, pain in my chest and back, and colitis that left me rolling in bed from severe stomach pain. My eardrums ruptured, resulting in severe tinnitus. To avoid any further decline in my ability to hear, doctors recommended I undergo surgery. I decided I would rather die than undergo this procedure, as it would result in permanent disfigurement. Unable to sleep well at night, I gradually developed chronic insomnia.

Despite my suffering, my beloved husband ignored me and went about his own business, humming to himself as if nothing were wrong. During this period, some acquaintances convinced me to convert to a certain sect of Christianity. Not only did this fail to heal my body, it invited spirit possession, which worsened my condition.

Our workplace later assigned us a small second floor apartment with no attached toilet. My sister-in-law hastily left her parents at my home and left without even offering her greetings. I was forced to become caregiver to both elderly parents in their 80s while juggling my career, childcare, and housekeeping duties including grocery shopping, laundry, cooking, and cleaning. Meanwhile, my husband continued to ignore my plight, coming and going as he pleased. Whenever I started quarreling with him, he would set off on a business trip to avoid me.

Determined to Show I Can Live a Good Life

My husband had desperately pursued me before marriage yet chose to neglect me afterward. His sudden change in demeanor left me puzzled. Then, several successive events made me realize his cold treatment was because I had given birth to a girl. Doesn’t it sound ridiculous? Yet this is the truth.

Once while we were quarreling, we happened to run into my sister-in-law. While standing in front of me, she advised my husband, “How can you continue like this? Just divorce her! Your sister will introduce you to another wife who can give you a baby boy.”

It was then that I realized his goal in treating me badly. If I took the initiative to file for divorce, he would retain his outwardly good reputation as a devoted family man, while achieving his goal of getting a new wife. I lost all hope. Even if I went mad or committed suicide, no one would pity me.

After some reflection, I sent my daughter to stay with my mother, before embarking on a business trip to relax and gain some perspective. I felt much better afterwards.

After I returned, I collaborated with some senior staff on a scientific research project that addressed an unmet need within the country. My dissertation was selected for publication in a national journal and caused a stir in the scientific and technological community. In those days, it was common for scientists to spend their lives laboring away over their research yet fail to publish even a single paper in any provincial journals. I was interviewed on televisions, introduced by radio stations and even mentioned in newspapers. In recognition of my work, I was promoted, received a professional title, given a raise and assigned a new apartment. Small and medium enterprises located in the South even offered me a higher salary should I accept their job offers. I was the subject of envy for many at that time.

This success did little to make up for the trauma of my unhappy marriage. In the early 1990s, a dance craze erupted in society. Our company started organizing an annual ballroom dance competition. As the competition outcome was linked to a certain salary bonus, the leaders of each work unit attached great importance to it.

I was determined to prove to my husband that I was able to excel in both scientific research and dance. This motivated me to perfect my art. That year, my work unit won the championship, and I became famous throughout the city and region. Despite the craze, few scientific experts had any interest in dancing, and had even less inclination to develop their expertise as I had. I found this to be the case after going on business trips to Beijing, Shanghai, and other big cities, where my outstanding dance skills remained unparalleled.

Provincial Hospital Medical Specialist: “This Child’s Condition Has No Cure”

Just as life was looking up, my daughter came down with a high fever after overdosing on medication, and it caused severe damage to her heart muscles. I put my dance hobby on hold and embarked on a mission to find a cure. We visited specialist after specialist as the years passed.

Finally, a Provincial Hospital medical specialist asked me, “How old are you?” I was shocked, “Why are you asking such a question?” She replied, “I won’t lie to you. Don’t come here anymore. This child’s condition has no cure. She can only rely on her own innate healing ability to improve any further. With the diagnosis I’ve given you, you can easily get the state’s permission to conceive a second child without paying any fees.”

At that time, a couple had to shell out 80,000 to 100,000 yuan to obtain permission for a second child. Even then, one also had to rely on connections with people who could facilitate the process to get state permission. Even a disability in the first child did not guarantee a successful application, as it depended on the child’s level of disability. The knowledge that my application for a second child would be granted by default filled me with horror. The severity of my daughter’s condition left me completely devastated.

I kept my daughter’s condition a secret from everyone, including my husband. My husband had been hoping for a son instead of a daughter in the first place. With my daughter so ill, my husband could seize the opportunity to divorce me. And if this became widely known, my daughter would have no marriage prospects. I could only keep this secret to myself.

My heart was pained as I watched as my daughter’s rosy, chubby face turn sallow and thin. Her weight began to drop, and it became difficult for her to climb stairs. Her stamina began to wane, and she could barely hang on for the end of each forty-five-minute class.

When she was in peak health, my daughter excelled in both sports and cultural activities. She would run outdoors each spring, admire the moon in autumn, swim every summer, and skate each winter. As her physical condition deteriorated, people began to take note and started asking after her. I could only keep silent.

Worry over my daughter caused me to lose my appetite and sleep poorly. Eventually, my various illnesses, including insomnia and depression, came back. Faced with an unhappy marriage and a seriously ill child, I constantly thought of ways to leave this world with dignity.

Falun Dafa Saved Me and My Child

One day in the early 1990s, I ran into my neighbor’s sister and asked, “I haven’t seen you in ages. Are you still dancing?” She replied, “I don’t dance anymore. I visited my daughter in Beijing and picked up Falun Gong. I’m in much better spirits now. Also without receiving any form of medical treatment, my illnesses were all cured.” I was shocked and asked, “Really? If such miracles exist, why hasn’t it been reported on TV?” She explained, “While this practice is good, not everyone can obtain it. Buddha can only save those who are predestined. Perhaps your predestined connection allowed you to hear about Dafa today. Moreover, the whole family will be blessed even if only one person practices the exercises.” I hurriedly asked, “If I were to practice, my child would also benefit?” She replied, “That is for sure!”

I started practicing Falun Dafa.

After a period of practice, my spirits lifted, my tinnitus disappeared, the swelling in my thyroid gland subsided and later vanished, and I started eating and sleeping well.

My health improved by leaps and bounds, fanning the flames of hope. My daughter’s life could be saved! When summer vacation came around, I played audio recordings of the lectures of Master Li (Falun Dafa’s founder) as my daughter listened attentively.

After that, I took my daughter to a Falun Dafa practice site. Although she fainted the first time she attempted the second set of exercises, I knew Master was purifying her body and I stayed calm. After about two weeks, we returned to the practice site, where my daughter vomited after performing the wheel-holding position. Afterward, she regained her appetite and rosy complexion, gained weight and found herself able to climb the stairs effortlessly. During a physical examination after her graduation from elementary school, the doctor commented, “Your heart is as healthy as that of a newborn baby.” Master had saved both of our lives!

How Zhuan Falun Addressed My Remaining Reservations

The book Zhuan Falun helped address my many questions about life. Where did we come from and what is our ultimate destination? Why must human beings suffer from sickness and pain? The content of Zhuan Falun provided the answers to these questions. As my remaining reservations dissolved, my various illnesses spontaneously vanished.

I used to believe my circumstances and capabilities would allow me to obtain everything I desired in life. I would want for nothing and live my life in bliss. Yet, breaching the gap between reality and my ideal life seemed impossible. The more I resisted, the worse the outcome. How could this be?

Master said the following about the relationship of de (virtue) to one's situation in life, 

“Buddhism believes in the principle of karmic retribution. One’s life is arranged according to one’s karma. No matter how capable you are, if you do not have de, perhaps you will have nothing in this life. You think that another person is good at nothing, but he has a lot of de. He could become a high-ranking official or make a big fortune. An everyday person cannot see this point and always believes that he should do exactly what he is able to. Therefore, he competes and fights all his life with a badly wounded heart. He might feel very bitter and tired, always finding things unfair. Being unable to eat or sleep well, he feels sad and disappointed. When he gets older, he will end up in poor health and all kinds of illnesses will surface.” (Lecture Seven, Zhuan Falun)

When I first read this paragraph at 2 a.m., I cocooned myself in my quilt and burst into tears, muffling my voice so as not to disturb others. Up until then, my life had been filled with dissatisfaction and anger, as I fought to secure material benefits. For all my sweat and toil, I had gained nothing in return and even came close to losing my life. I discovered I had nobody to blame but my own lack of virtue. 

Generating a lot of karma in previous lives would deplete the virtue that remained for the next life. Without enough virtue, one would have to suffer more. Why is it that the more a person resists, the worse their situation becomes? After studying the Fa, I came to realize these tribulations were a way for people to repay their debts. Should the person choose to fight with others, their existing karma would be retained, with new karma generated on top of the old. Should the person insist on pursuing this path, their condition would worsen until their soul faced complete annihilation. From that day on, I no longer fought with others or complained about the unfairness in my life. I knew the fundamental reason was my own lack of virtue. 

I used to puzzle over the circumstances of my marriage. I married such a man, so was it because of his superior deception skills or my low IQ? Or was this just God’s will? I had lowered my station and married down. While I did not expect to be served hand and foot, there should at least be no room for spousal abuse, right? The mystery behind my unhappy marriage was also the root cause of my various illnesses.

Through studying the Fa, I began to realize the truth. Neither his ability to deceive me nor my low IQ were to blame. Rather, fate had brought us together. My husband and I were destined to have an acrimonious relationship. Although I suffered so much at his hands in this lifetime, I might have treated him worse in the past. Such retribution could only be considered fair! Conversely, the circumstances of their predestined relationship meant my husband and his elder sister could enjoy a harmonious relationship.

In the past, whenever I saw my husband and his sister conversing, I would get angry and spit out some cruel words. “We are husband and wife, yet you are closer to your own sister. Is this some form of perversion? You should have enjoyed a life with her, instead of marrying me.” After studying Dafa I realized my actions were caused by jealousy, a critical attachment that cultivators had to get rid of.

Afterwards, I stopped resenting the close relationship my husband shared with his elder sister. Our relationship began to improve, and I felt more relaxed.

Reborn into a New Life

After acknowledging Falun Dafa, I swore to live up to Master’s compassionate salvation and cultivate to consummation!

One of my first acts as a cultivator was to return several ten thousand yuan to my husband, and admit, “I practice Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance. It was wrong of me to hide this sum of money from you.” In the early days, our monthly wages only came up to several hundred yuan, so several ten thousand yuan was a significant sum.

After cultivating Dafa, I stopped dancing as a hobby. In its place I initiated a simple routine, traveling consistently between my home, workplace, and market for groceries. Whatever spare time I had was spent studying the Fa and practicing the exercises.

Before practicing Falun Gong, I had helped process the qualification certificates for senior workers and technicians in our company. This simple yet financially rewarding job was coveted by many at my workplace. Yet soon after I started practicing Dafa, my boss requested I hand this job over to a colleague, and even instructed me to teach her so she could do this new task well.

I was initially puzzled. After further study of the Fa, I realized cultivators should not be picky and instead do whatever their supervisors tell them to do. Later, I came to understand that although this assignment gave big rewards, its foundation carried elements of fraud. To prevent the accumulation of more karma, Master must have arranged for me to stop doing it.

I used to teach night classes in a school, earning seven yuan for each class I taught. I would teach three classes each night and earn twenty-one yuan, a significant sum of money at that time. After I started cultivating Dafa, our pay decreased from five yuan to three yuan per class. When it reached the absurd amount of one yuan, I found myself unable to sit still.

My teaching colleagues encouraged me to negotiate with our boss. Yet as soon as I opened the door to the principal’s office, my mind went blank, and I failed to recall the issue I wanted to discuss. I returned empty handed and asked my colleagues, “What issue was I supposed to raise?” My shocked colleagues lamented in unison, “We’ve failed! What happened to your earlier sense of determination?!”

I later realized this was a hint to give this opportunity to others in need. My family did not lack financial resources, and I could use this time to study the Fa and practice the exercises instead. Before cultivating Falun Dafa, I would never have approached the issue in this way, much less have allowed anyone to treat me like this.

One night in winter, I was so engrossed in a discussion with a fellow practitioner that I failed to return home on time. My angry husband locked the front door, and I was forced to wait in the freezing cold corridor. After midnight, my daughter secretly opened the door and let me in. My husband had sprawled across our bed in his sleep, so I was forced to sleep sideways along the side.

The next morning, he scolded me, “You indeed did great. You kept silent when I scolded you last night, but if you dare mouth back to me, I will kick you to the ground.” I laughed and went to cook breakfast.

In April 1999, a large-scale experience sharing conference was held in our region. I went on stage and told the audience about my cultivation experiences, uncontrollably bursting into tears at intervals. Three non-practitioner elderly ladies were in the audience. They stood in the aisle, voicing sounds of exclamation at intervals. A fellow practitioner standing next to them asked, “What is wrong?” They replied, “That speaker is the wife of our work unit leader. She has changed so much!” The fellow practitioner asked, “What was she like before?” One of the old ladies told him, “In the past, nobody could approach her, because she looked down on everyone. And she possesses outstanding skills and capabilities. For her to have changed so much, this practice is amazing!”

Master’s Limitless Compassion Toward Our Family

According to my husband, “Cultivating [Dafa] is the best decision you’ve made in your life.” If not for Falun Gong, we would have gone our separate ways long ago and he would not have reaped the benefits of being in a cultivator’s family.

In the 1990s, our salaries amounted to only a few hundred yuan a month. Despite that, my husband spent more than 2,000 yuan on the latest DVD player to facilitate my efforts to spread the Fa outside. His righteous thoughts helped him walk away unharmed from many potentially fatal car accidents and further convinced him of the protection he enjoyed from gods and Buddhas.

In 2000, our province declared their intention to elect a deputy mayor from our company. In terms of educational qualifications, gender, age and expertise, the requirements seemed tailor-made specifically for my husband. Moreover, the nominated person should not be a member of the CCP. Everyone thought my husband was the perfect candidate, yet because I refused to give up practicing Falun Gong, my husband was passed over for the job. 

Many years later when he brought up this matter, I asked him, “Do you regret it?” He firmly replied, “No! On the surface, the position would bring a lot of benefits, but it also exposes the office holder to temptations and vice. Addiction to gambling and promiscuity would have claimed my life. Now, I lack for nothing and live a carefree, comfortable life. This is what I want!” I replied, “You have Dafa to thank for protecting you!” My husband laughed in reply. 

My daughter graduated from college during a time of job scarcity. Many fresh college graduates found themselves unable to secure jobs. Yet my freshly graduated daughter managed to find employment at a reputable local public institution. Positions there were in such demand that one had to bribe the mayor with at least 200,000 yuan for a chance to secure a place. The fact that a person from an ordinary background could get a job there without spending a single cent on bribes was simply unheard of. A relative of ours even commented, “Even the impossible has happened. Your family is truly blessed; perhaps it has something to do with your religious faith?”

Words cannot describe my gratitude toward Master for saving me during this period of Fa rectification. It is my blessing and honor! I will continue to cultivate myself well and spread the goodness of Falun Dafa so more predestined people will have the chance to cultivate and achieve enlightenment.