Cultivating Myself First Whenever Conflicts Arise

(Minghui.org) I got up late one morning and thought I should pay attention to cultivating away my attachment to leisure and comfort. I finished doing the exercises first before my morning routine.

My husband, who is also a Falun Dafa practitioner, suddenly began to laugh at me and recount what I had done wrong in the past. I said those things weren’t true, and he got upset. At the same time, I reminded myself not to fight with him.

I went out to refill two bottles of purified water. Our subdivision was being renovated, and the road was narrow. The bulldozer first blocked me and then went back and forth in front of me. When I got to the water refill center, two construction workers were sweeping the trash in my direction!

I immediately looked within. I knew the mindset I had earlier was not correct. I still had the mentality of fighting and I had jealousy and did not like to hear unpleasant things. After I returned home with the water, my husband continued ranting. I didn’t say a word.

When I shared this with other practitioners, one of them looked at me and said seriously, “This is your cultivation environment; why do you look outward?” I realized Master Li (Dafa’s founder) was giving me a hint since I’d been stuck in that same situation for too long.

No matter what conflicts I encounter, I must first cultivate myself well. Others’ behavior should serve as a mirror for me, and I need to look within to eliminate my human heart first.

As soon as I changed my mindset, my husband stopped complaining. He smiled at me and asked to study the Fa together. Things changed so fast when I looked within!

When we drove to work one day, my husband complained about the subdivision not keeping a nearby gate open, which meant we had to take a longer route. As soon as I thought about correcting him, I realized that his behavior reflected my own dissatisfaction. I began to eliminate my impatience and, in no time, the clouds disappeared and the sun came out! I think Master was encouraging me to work on my heart.

When I see others’ attachments, instead of pointing a finger at them, I look within and rectify myself first. This is the major difference between a Dafa cultivator and a non-cultivator. I finally learned how to cultivate myself.

Master taught us:

“For example, they spread, “if you want others to do well, you have to do well yourself first.” Think about it everybody, is that saying right? Many people hold on to that saying and use it to hide their own mistakes that they don’t want to correct. And that’s especially so for those who have problems—they take it as the truth and won’t let go. I can tell you, though, that this is absolutely wrong. Can’t a person who isn’t perfect tell you to do well? Can’t a person who’s made mistakes tell others to do well? What kind of logic is that? How many people have thought this over carefully?” (“Fa Teaching Given at the 2003 Atlanta Fa Conference,” Collected Teachings Given Around the World Volume IV)

In the past, I looked down on my husband. Whenever he ridiculed me and criticized me, I would reply, “What gives you the right to talk about me if you’re not doing it right yourself!” Using that excuse, I looked outward and did not want to change myself. How many opportunities to improve my level have I missed? This was my fault! Master has taught this Fa for many years, and I only now understood it.

This is my understanding at my level. Please kindly point out anything not in line with the Fa.