(Minghui.org) After I moved to Seattle last year my life seemed to be filled with challenges. I had to work and study for a degree, and I was involved in projects to save people. I sometimes felt overwhelmed and frustrated. On the other hand, when I achieved the smallest thing, I was happy and wanted the other practitioners to praise me. I occasionally felt unbalanced—and that I did more than the others. But when I calmed down and thought about it, wasn’t this a great cultivation environment?
When school started in the fall, my relatively relaxed lifestyle changed. I had to go on a work-related business trip, and a test was repeatedly delayed. It was difficult to advance in the test I was responsible for, so the trip had to be extended.
At this time, a practitioner who was involved in the media took two weeks off due to personal issues, which caused the already limited staff to face new challenges. This is a project to save people and Master Li (Dafa’s founder) asks practitioners to cooperate. However, it wasn’t easy to take over someone’s job. My laziness, desire for comfort, resentment, and eagerness for success surfaced.
The environment at work is noisy and chaotic. I only have a small desk to work on, and I use a portable monitor. The climate in Seattle is humid, so even if you find a quiet office, there is an unpleasant, damp smell in the room. In the hotel where I live, even my blanket feels damp. When I had dinner with my colleagues, the food was not satisfactory.
My resentment and feelings of unfairness grew. But I didn’t look inward. In fact, even though I was helping the other practitioners who were filling in for the parts I couldn’t do, they harmoniously cooperated. When I felt frustrated and hurried, I found mistakes in the videos I produced.
After I had to completely redo a video I realized it happened due to my complacency, and resentment.
I remembered Master’s teachings on the origin of matter:
“Then what, ultimately, is the most original matter? It’s water. But the water I’m talking about is not the water of our ordinary human world. Nor is it the water of the rivers, streams, lakes, and oceans that exist at different levels. This water is what creates all matter and lives of a cosmic body at a given level. You can call it “original matter”… [actually,] you can only call it original matter, and his kind of water differs from the concept of water that we understand in the dimension of ordinary human beings. To be precise, it should be called “still water,” as it doesn’t move. It’s completely still and motionless. It wouldn’t ripple or splash if you were to toss something into it.” (Teaching at the Conference in Switzerland)
I realized that if I truly improved my xinxing, I would be like the still water Master Li talked about. No matter what happened, my heart would remain unmoved. Practicing Falun Dafa allows me to return to my true nature. I realized that despite the poor food, difficult environment, and jet lag, I should have done my duty and do what I should do. The local practitioners are shouldering their responsibilities and cooperating with me.
When I looked at the videos I'd produced over the previous two weeks, I noticed there was some improvement. My video production speed increased, and I began to develop my own style. I felt Master was encouraging us. When our staff was tight, we accommodated each other and supported the project, and the number of subscriptions increased during those two weeks.
Of course, there are also xinxing tests. When one of my coworkers tested positive for the virus, everyone had to take a COVID test. If I tested positive, I would have to wait and test negative before I could fly back to Seattle. My test result was negative, but my roommate’s fiancée works at the pharmacy where I bought the kits, and saw me. She sent me a text message saying that she saw me buying test kits, and she heard me coughing. She told everyone that I hadn’t been vaccinated and she was worried about her fiancé’s health.
I was very angry and thought, “How do you know whether I’ve been vaccinated or not? Have you seen my medical records? Accessing my medical records without my knowledge is an invasion of my privacy!” As a practitioner, I wasn’t concerned about the virus, and I only took the two shots required by the company. I looked down on people’s ignorance regarding COVID. On the other hand, I was offended. I also thought that ordinary people don’t know as much as Falun Dafa practitioners. I forgot that, for ordinary people, fear is normal.
I am a practitioner, so I shouldn’t be angry. Instead, I should have compassion. When I had this thought, my roommate sent me a text message to apologize, saying that he had been feeling unwell for some time and was worried he might get COVID. He also apologized for his past inappropriate behavior.
But I soon had illness symptoms. I felt tired and my throat ached. I suddenly thought, "If I test positive, I might be able to take two days off." But I quickly realized that I couldn’t think like this. I had to go back to Seattle to deliver newspapers, and I had to sell Shen Yun tickets on the weekend. If I tested positive, how could I fulfill my responsibilities?
My illness symptoms disappeared the next day. I returned to Seattle on Friday and sold tickets at the Shen Yun booth.
The first day was very challenging, and the heat was unbearable. There was no ventilation in our booth, and it felt like a steam oven. Just when the hottest part of the afternoon was almost over, a man came and asked to buy two tickets. He said that he just saw tickets were not available for purchase on the website, but he didn’t expect to see our Shen Yun booth here. I really felt being there was important even if I endured the scorching heat. Nothing is more important than having one more sentient being attend Shen Yun and be saved.
I sold four tickets the next day, but my mentality was not as pure as the previous day. The cool weather also made me feel complacent.
Because the deadline for my homework was that night, driving back was equivalent to an hour wasted. After the practitioners who were replacing me arrived, I decided to stay at the booth and do my homework.
When I began doing my homework I realized that the classes this semester were completely different from the previous semester. It was easy to get a perfect score last semester, so it was easy to fool around. But this semester, all the questions were calculations, and a lot of the content was unfamiliar. It was time for the booth to close, but I hadn’t finished, so I sat in my car and continued working.
After I went to college, I was contaminated by many bad habits. I was pretty good in high school, and what I hated the most was cheating on exams. But in college, I learned differnt ways to cheat. It was like taking drugs. Once you are exposed to it, it is difficult to extricate yourself. It is even harder to calm down. Last semester, I messed up every time I did my homework, and this carried over into my work. I asked Master to help me so that I could finish writing before the deadline, and I repeatedly apologized to Master because I really fell in my cultivation over the years.
Master said,
“As a cultivator, when you do badly in everyday society the blame is definitely on you, as you didn’t go about things as a cultivator and hold yourself to high standards. If you didn’t do well for the boss who hired you, or, if you are a student, if you didn’t complete your homework or aren’t attentive in class, then can you say you are a good person? A good person, you know, he is good in whatever setting it may be. If you are a student you should study well. If you are an employee you should complete your work.” (Teachings at the Conference in Houston)
And when I caught up on my homework, I discovered that I hadn’t read much in the textbook. If I read it carefully, I would get twice the result with half the effort, and there would be no need to stay up so late. Wasn’t this similar to my relaxed approach when I studied the Fa? Sometimes I don’t feel like studying the Fa. I feel pursuing a degree is a last resort and a waste of time. However, I never thought that, because I did not study well when I was in college and skipped many professional and academic courses, my lack of knowledge in certain areas would bring difficulties to my current Fa-validation efforts and work.
Master said:
“Whether it’s a degree or your effort to accomplish something, that’s apt to help you understand the Fa better. It might also benefit you in terms of spreading the Fa and understanding the Fa in the future. And it has bearing on your personal life down the road. As long as our cultivation hasn’t ended, you should maximally conform to the way of everyday people while you cultivate—it isn’t wrong for you to do that. As a matter of fact, your graduate study or your studying for a certain degree won’t be affected because you study the Fa. Pursuing a graduate degree absolutely won’t affect your studying the Fa.” (Teachings at the Conference of Changchun Assistants)
After finishing my homework, I browsed the Internet to find some videos to watch. I realized the skills I learned could be applied in my future work. If I used this knowledge well, would I still feel my skills were inadequate? Would I remain stagnant? Would I still fool around?
If I hadn’t followed the crowd when I attended the university and made full use of my time to do the exercises and read the Fa, I would not have had to study for an additional degree.
These are my recent cultivation experiences. No matter what challenges I face, I will cultivate diligently.
My cultivation level is limited. If there’s anything not in accordance with the Fa, please kindly correct me.
(Presented at the 2023 Seattle Falun Dafa Cultivation Experience Sharing Conference)
Copyright © 2023 Minghui.org. All rights reserved.
