(Minghui.org) My mother was 86 when my father passed away. My brother and I have taken turns caring for her these past 8 years. I’ve read Zhuan Falun with her, taught her the exercises, and showed her how to send forth righteous thoughts. She often pays respect to Master by offering incense in front of His portrait. She is blessed to be in good health and does not get hurt even when she falls.
One would think that my mother and I get along fine. But, for some reason, we constantly quarreled. After one of our many arguments, I even thought, “I will chastise you for sure.” It was no surprise that I often felt exhausted and full of anger after being with her the entire day.
When I offered incense in front of Master Li’s (Falun Dafa’s founder) picture recently I saw tears in his eyes. I immediately said, “Master, I made you worry. I know I look down on my mother. Why is it so hard to stop doing this? I’m wrong! I must stop scolding my mother. I should be more tolerant so that Master will not worry about me. I want to correct myself!”
After reading the Fa a lot, I realized that I had to change my attitude toward my mother; but I just couldn’t hold my tongue. When I reprimanded her she couldn’t take it. I knew my behavior was unkind even by regular people’s standards. I was frustrated that I couldn’t get rid of this attachment.
Another practitioner reminded me that my poor behavior was not the real me, so I tried to reject it. Master must have noticed my wish and pointed things out to me.
I was doing the sitting meditation with other practitioners one day, and I saw myself sitting on three big black tires. My legs hurt, so I knew it was because I accumulated negative karma. I had to repay my debt and it wasn’t going to be easy. I clenched my teeth and endured every minute of the pain. The black tires turned yellow, and then gradually turned white.
After I finished meditating I said, “I was wrong. I mistreated my mother, and I will definitely change!”
Shortly afterward I encountered a test. I prepared the water to bathe my mother. The temperature was neither hot nor cold, but she complained that it was too hot. When I helped her to the bedroom, she said that I was pushing her. Once we were in the bedroom, I overheard her scolding me under her breath.
My heart was stirred and it was not a good feeling, but I was determined to forbear. I took care of her for two weeks. She soiled her clothes and bed sheets every day, and I cleaned up everything without complaining. I knew I had to endure.
After she fell asleep one day, I went out for a walk for over an hour. Upon my return, she complained, “You were gone for a long time, and there was no one to talk to! I’m not here to guard the door for you!” This time I didn’t respond to her abrasive words. I realized that she was helping me cultivate, and I should thank her from the bottom of my heart!
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