Latent Fear Leads to Big Tribulation

(Minghui.org)

Starting to practice with strong fears and bad notions

I am from a former communist country in Europe, and I work as a civil servant. I started practicing Falun Dafa a few years ago. At first it was very hard for me to step forward—to go to the park to do the exercises, and to participate in activities to promote the practice and clarify the truth.

It took me some time to build up righteous thoughts and remove most of my fears and bad notions, but even so, a small part of my fear that I might be found to be doing something “wrong” (according to the authorities) remained deep inside me.

Master said, 

“Fear can cause one to make mistakes, and fear can cause one to lose a predestined opportunity. Fear is a death trap on a human being’s journey toward divinity.” (“Pass the Deadly Test,” The Essentials of Diligent Progress Vol. III)

Latent Fear Leads to Tribulation

One day at work, one of my bosses called me into his office and started to talk about the fact that I practiced Falun Dafa. He said that a secret service agent had informed my workplace that I did. He then asked me to write a statement declaring that I wouldn’t practice Falun Dafa or meet with other practitioners in the future. When I heard that, I lost my calm and got upset because I couldn’t believe what he was asking me to do. Nowadays, when many countries are taking steps to acknowledge the persecution in China, my country was about to start it. 

I tried my best to clarify the facts to him, but he kept telling me to think about my future. In the end, he understood that what I was doing was something good, but after he realized that I wouldn’t write what he had asked me to, he said that I should speak with his superior.

It took me some time to calm down and realize that I had loopholes and fear that I needed to remove quickly. The following days were difficult, but I understood that the best thing I could do was to put others first, clarify the truth, and quickly remove my attachments, including my fear of being accused of wrongdoing, my fear of losing my job, and insufficient trust in Dafa and Master Li, the founder of Falun Dafa. 

Master said,

“I also want to tell you that your nature in the past was actually based on egotism and selfishness. From now on, whatever you do, you should consider others first, so as to attain the righteous Enlightenment of selflessness and altruism. So from now on, whatever you do or whatever you say, you must consider others—or even future generations—along with Dafa’s eternal stability.” (“Non-Omission in Buddha-Nature,” Essentials for Further Advancement)

My fears had deep roots, and they were difficult to remove. In the process, I felt as if I had been shattered into pieces and had to rebuild myself according to Dafa.

When my second boss summoned me to his office, I got nervous even though I tried my best to remain calm. I felt as if I couldn’t move my feet and that my next decision would be either to run away in fear or to have the courage to clarify the truth and not give up practicing Falun Dafa. After choosing not to give up my faith, I entered my boss’s office. He tried to intimidate me and made sly remarks, trying to tell me what was happening and to get me to write that I would stop practicing Falun Dafa and seeing other practitioners.

How could I explain why I couldn’t write what he was asking me to? Knowing that he was somewhat religious, I gave him an example from the Christian religion of someone who betrayed his teacher (Judas). Only then did he understand what he was actually asking me to do. After he understood that I was practicing something good, he demanded answers about the accusations that the secret service had made. In the end he calmed down, stopped questioning me, and gave up asking me to write a declaration to stop practicing Falun Dafa. But I didn’t know if this was the end of the tribulation. 

Master said,

“There is a problem; it doesn’t matter how veteran you are, because the part of you that has been cultivated is already separated from you. Your gong that has been elevated to your original heavenly position will function only if combined with your righteous thoughts in the Fa. If you do not study the Fa and are away from the Fa, your gong cannot be mobilized, because that is Fa’s power. How could those human attachments and fear mobilize gong?” (“Fa Teaching at the 2016 New York Fa Conference”)

Those who were involved in asking me to stop practicing Falun Dafa had bad luck shortly after—missing a promotion, being forced to move, or job loss.

A Dream Related to the Tribulation

A few weeks after these events, I had a dream that I believe was related to my tribulation. I was on a hill with vast green grasslands below me. The sky was clear and the sun was shining, all very beautiful. But dark clouds suddenly gathered, turning everything dark. I remained calm and waited to see what would happen.

Soon after the sky turned black, I heard a very loud clap of thunder that made the clouds disappear. The sky was now even more beautiful, and I could sense a divine presence.

I think that the black clouds represented my tribulation at work and that Master was showing me that everything was cleared away.

I want to thank Master for enlightening me as I clarified the truth to my bosses and for taking care of me.