Correcting My Behavior Around My Family by Cultivating Diligently

(Minghui.org) I am 55 years old and have been practicing Falun Dafa for 24 years. I am ashamed to say that I was very slow to eliminate many attachments. I have strong human notions, so my cultivation has improved very slowly. Once I almost lost my life because the old forces took advantage of these loopholes.

Master said,

“Study the Fa and gain the Fa,Focus on how you study and cultivate,Let each and every thingbe measured against the Fa.Only then, with that,is it actually cultivation.” (Solid Cultivation, Hong Yin)

Because I was careless, short-tempered, sloppy, and absent-minded, especially at home, even though I sometimes tried to do well, the outcome was not good. I was angry at myself and wondered why I couldn’t change my bad habits. When I was at home, I was not compassionate enough and usually didn’t handle conflicts well. Sometimes I lost confidence; however, I thought, “I should be confident, I have Master and the Fa, I should be a genuine Dafa disciple.” I would like to share how I have corrected these bad habits by cultivating my speech and actions.

Truly Treating My Mother-In-Law Well

When my 89-year-old mother-in-law returned from another city to stay with us, I made an effort to treat her warmly so she would feel comfortable. When I went to work, I asked my son to take his grandmother for a walk and care for her more. I also asked him to hold her hand while they walked and to find a TV series she liked. If she felt lonely, I asked him to play poker with her, as I know she is afraid of being alone.

My husband is the youngest child in his family—he has an older sister and three older brothers. He was a spoiled child and often yelled at his mother. In addition, his attitude was not good, and he complained a lot. He was accustomed to behaving this way and didn’t notice he had a problem. I often talked to him about being more patient, and his attitude changed. Now he prepares delicious food for his mother.

Even though she couldn’t eat much, we still tried to cook her nutritious meals. Although she is elderly, we don’t get impatient with her. On the contrary, we are glad that she can enjoy the family and be happy in her old age.

As a daughter-in-law, I always thought I should do better. In the past when my mother-in-law came to stay with us, my husband lost his temper and sometimes even verbally abused me. I felt I had lost face so I quarreled with him, but I never thought about my mother-in-law’s feelings. Seeing us argue, my mother-in-law wanted to leave only a few days after she arrived, although we tried to persuade her to stay. I looked within through Fa study and noticed my problem. Although I didn’t scream at her, she didn’t feel comfortable staying at our home. Wasn’t I driving her away indirectly? She was old, so I asked myself how I could show her more respect.

I looked within and noticed I often told her things like, “Your son is selfish. He doesn’t treat people on my side of the family well and he doesn’t respect people from rural areas...” My mother-in-law tried to defend her son, but I just went on and on. When I looked back, I realized that I didn’t act like a practitioner. How could my mother-in-law feel welcome when I said things like that? Superficially I treated my mother-in-law well, but I still had these negative thoughts. Wasn’t I a false cultivator? I wasn’t even a good person, let alone a cultivator. I was ashamed of myself.

So I gradually corrected myself. I said, “Mom, please stay. You should feel comfortable here.” I don’t say anything bad about my husband anymore. I am no longer picky and won’t quarrel with him in front of my mother-in-law. After many years, I finally let go of my resentment for my husband. I am more aware of his strengths and care for him more. I am at ease when I do a lot of housework, and I try to be a good mother and wife. My husband and I talk and laugh frequently. My mother-in-law sees it and is very happy.

There are many possible conflicts that can occur between a mother-in-law and a daughter-in-law, and I realize it is because our minds are not righteous. As a cultivator, what I am cultivating is my mind. When my mind is right, I can deal with everything well. My mother-in-law is old and tends to talk too much while doing everything like a child, which might make some people angry. I don’t get angry anymore but instead show understanding. I am compassionate and care for her and make sure she is happy, so there are no conflicts between us.

There is a positive energy field around cultivators. There is an old saying, “Of all virtues, filial piety is the most important.” We should keep in mind this traditional Chinese value. If a cultivator does well, he is validating the Fa. All of my in-laws say I am good and they respect Dafa.

Letting Go of Resentment and Passing a Sickness Test

Because my husband and I had conflicts for many years, I accumulated a lot of resentment and became ill. In 2016, when I returned from a trip, my abdomen started to expand. At that time I didn’t look within and did not find the root cause, so my abdomen continued to swell.

My coworkers all talked about it. I was worried and went for an ultrasound that showed I had a very large uterine fibroid. The doctor recommended surgery immediately, which made me feel like I was under a lot of pressure. Fellow practitioners showed me a great deal of care. Some said I should go ahead and have it removed, while others said I should correct myself based on the Fa and that there was no need for surgery.

Through Fa study, I became clear that a cultivator doesn’t have any abnormal conditions, so I didn’t want to go to the hospital. I decided to cultivate myself. However, it didn’t disappear. My coworkers and supervisor all tried to persuade me to have the surgery. I wasn’t moved, nor did I explain. I was sure that Dafa is supernatural and wanted to cultivate myself quietly.

In 2020, I went for an annual check-up. The uterine fibroid was still 17 centimeters long, and many health care professionals tried to persuade me to have it removed. I wasn’t moved. I looked within to find out what was wrong with my thinking. I finally realized that I had very strong resentment for my husband. For many years, I didn’t let go of it. Sometimes I still got angry with him, so the fibroid kept growing.

I felt I had found the root cause. The major problem was that I lost my temper frequently. I am a cultivator and should be compassionate. Resentment can cause a cultivator to lose his life. It is absolutely not a trivial thing. I decided to completely eliminate my attachment, improve my xinxing and always look at things positively. Now I treat my husband well and don’t argue—I control my thoughts.

This March, I noticed that my abdomen was much smaller and I could wear many of my old clothes. My coworkers noticed and wondered what happened. I told them that, because I didn’t get angry and had let go of resentment, I got well after I did the exercises and followed Dafa's principles. When they heard that, they all believed in Dafa.

In 2021, my annual check-up showed that I had high blood pressure and hyperglycemia. My family members asked me to take medicine, but I turned down the idea. I knew cultivators didn’t have diseases. It was just a test. After five more months, I was fine and didn’t feel any discomfort. I studied the Fa and did the exercises every day. My coworkers thought I would not improve without medication, but I am fine now.

I know it is Master who is taking care of me. Despite all kinds of pressure, I didn’t go to the hospital, and my abdomen became much smaller. That is why we say that if a cultivator cultivates well, he is validating the Fa.

Dafa is supernatural and the standard is the same for everyone. However, amazing things will happen only when a person is truly cultivating Dafa, and it won’t work if he can’t meet the standard. We can’t slack off during our cultivation. Our minds should be righteous; otherwise, it will be very dangerous.

I am determined to be Master’s genuine disciple.