Suggestions for Clarifying the Truth to Practitioners' Families
With our efforts to clarify the truth, more and more people are awakening. But we often find a problem, namely that it is more difficult to clarify the truth to the people we are close to. Many people we don't know are willing to withdraw from the CCP, the Chinese Communist Youth League and the Young Pioneers, or are willing to read some Falun Dafa books after we explain the truth to them. Some of them even start to practice Falun Gong. But for our family members this seems very difficult. Many practitioners feel that this is a problem. We feel difficulties, especially when looking at our relatives who are missing opportunities to be saved, and sometimes we feel that there is not much we can do.
We analyzed the reasons that result in this kind of situation. First we looked inside among our fellow practitioners.
- Attachments to the affections of loved one. After learning that clarifying the truth is to save people, many practitioners' first thoughts are for their family members. When their family members remain unmoved, the practitioners may become anxious and worried about them. To persuade them, the practitioner may become emphatic and raise his/her voice, but will only achieve the opposite effect. The family member may think that the practitioner has bad manners and is not kind. Some even might think that Falun Gong practitioners have bad self-discipline. They may not really disagree with Dafa to begin with, but the way the practitioner talks arouses their resistant attitude. Our emotions lead us to appear unreasonable.
- Constantly stressing one's own thoughts. A fellow practitioner once spoke with others about the truth. The way he explained the truth and his reasoning had persuaded the other party. The other party said, "I accept your explanation the way you presented it and I am also clear on what you are talking about. However, when one of my relatives talked to me he gave me the impression that only they, Falun Gong practitioners, know what the truth is; all other people don't know what is going on. He kept talking and would not give us any chance to talk."
- Not watching our behavior. When clarifying the truth to people other than friends and relatives we pay more attention to our manner of speaking. When talking to family members we may forget this and get into an argument when the family member disagrees with us. This is then followed by an escalating battle of words. This results in the other side having no interest in listening to our truth clarification. All the other side thinks of is how to get even with us, with thoughts of not letting us win to avoid losing face. Thus, the other side opposes everything we say. This cannot achieve the desired effect. It actually pushes the opponent to the opposite side. An issue of concern is that some of our relatives are strongly against Dafa. Some of this results from our own mistakes. We should pay attention to this.
We know through learning the Fa that people's varying points of view these days have changed and they do not realize that their points of view have deviated. We need to pay attention how we should talk to them when we tell them the facts. We need to gradually lead them. We cannot talk in a way as if they don't have anything correct to say. Criticizing them is not our purpose. Our purpose in telling them the facts is to awaken their kindness and to guide them onto the path of returning towards their origin, so that they can be saved.
I often read articles written by fellow practitioners repeatedly emphasizing that we should validate Dafa instead of validating ourselves. If one keeps stressing that others are wrong so as to prove he is right, is he validating Dafa? Is he emphasizing that Dafa is tolerant? On the contrary, he is discrediting Dafa; others may think he is disturbing their lives; they may refuse to let him come to their home any more.
We need to look inside for reasons if we find that the way we are clarifying the truth has not achieved the desired effect. In addition, are there other ways to alleviate this concern? Maybe having a fellow practitioner clarify the truth to our family while we clarify the truth to their family can achieve a better effect. The reasons are as follows:
- Being bored from listening to the same line of thought. One person's understanding in one aspect sometimes remains at a certain level and the things he says can sound familiar over a period of time. When he talks over and over again with his family members they may get tired of listening. If another practitioner comes, he may explain it from a different angle, and what he says may sound different and acceptable to them; or what he talks about may happen to be the key to unlocking their thoughts; they may then accept the truth. In other words, when we cannot unlock a door with our key, we can borrow another practitioner's keys to help unlock the mental door.
- Politeness. As just mentioned, when we tell the facts to our family members there is a tendency for an argument to start. If a visitor comes, the family members, out of politeness, may continue to listen. A family member may change his original attitude and point of view as long as he is willing to listen. With objective analysis of the evil nature of the CCP, of withdrawing from the CCP, the Chinese Communist Youth League and the Young Pioneers for self protection and so on, the visitor can mention at the end, "If you are standing on the side of justice and if you are compassionate, please do what is right." To show they are on the side of justice and are compassionate, many people are willing to make the right choice.
Having different people clarify the truth can be a practical method in those circumstances where many of us feel that there is not much we can do for our family members. Besides, we can also send our family members' phone numbers to the Minghui website. We can ask for help from overseas Dafa practitioners to call our family members. This will also give our family members an opportunity to learn of the widespread acceptance of Falun Gong abroad.
The above is my limited understanding. Please kindly point out any problems.
August 20, 2005