Measuring Ourselves With the Standard of the Fa
(Minghui.org) I have been practicing Falun Dafa for eight years, and always thought that I was progressing very well on my cultivation path.
I could easily sit in the full lotus position for an hour within less than a year after I started practicing Dafa. I could recite Hong Yin, Hong Yin II, and the first lecture of Zhuan Falun after two years of practice. When I was in my third year of practice, I participated in the wave of lawsuits against Jiang Zemin, the former Chinese leader, who launched the persecution against Falun Dafa.
I have read all of Master’s teachings nearly 20 times, and have been very active in clarifying the truth of Falun Dafa to the public, such as talking to people face to face, making phone calls, distributing CDs and brochures about Dafa, and removing Chinese Communist Party (CCP)’s propaganda posters. I have also helped many people quit the CCP and its youth organizations.
A fellow practitioner said that I had improved very fast in my cultivation and called me an “accelerated” practitioner. Over the years, I had felt very good about myself.
However, if we get too big-headed and think that we are better than others, we can easily drop in levels to the point that it may be difficult to climb back up.
I was born in the 1980s, and so was not accustomed to living under the values of traditional Chinese culture, which are said to have been bestowed to humans by gods. My grandmother was brought up under this kind of lifestyle and upheld these values in her conduct. I had never heard any complaints or grievances from her.
When it came to my parents’ generation, who spent their teenage years during the Cultural Revolution, their belief in Gods and Buddhas was diminishing. My dad told me many stories about the Buddha, while at the same time said that these things don't exist. He even said disrespectful words about Confucius. My mother said that before she gave birth to me, she went to the temple to worship Guanyin and burned incense every year. She said that gods exist only if you believe in them.
I was educated with the Marxist and Leninist ideology at school, and thus grew up in an environment completely detached from traditional Chinese culture, and any belief in gods.
Judging myself with societal norms and not by heavenly principles, I couldn't distinguish between good and bad, or right from wrong. I always thought that I was good, until I started practicing Falun Dafa.
I read the Dafa books, absorbing the Fa like a sponge. I was immersed in the Fa every day. Master saw my determination and gave me the strength to keep studying the Fa so that I could assimilate to it. This state lasted for about three or four years.
After that, it seemed as if I wasn't that motivated. I was reading the Fa and doing the three things that practitioners are supposed to do, but I didn’t have the firm determination to cultivate as I had initially.
Interference from the human heart gripped me. I thought that I was better than other practitioners. I became arrogant and forgot that Master was helping me. I was dropping in my cultivation day by day, but I wasn't aware of it. I couldn't find most of my attachments and even when I did, it was difficult to remove them.
“As for newer practitioners, Master is really concerned about you, and I really hope you can catch up.” (“Fa Teaching on World Falun Dafa Day”)
After reading this, I thought, “Master, I’m doing quite well!”
How arrogant I must have been to think this way! I realized that I had set my standards for cultivation really low, and my thinking was the real problem.
I came to understand that the old forces had purposely destroyed traditional culture to make it harder for people to obtain the Fa during the Fa rectification.
Those that grew up under the CCP’s culture of atheism, like me, have to get rid of the Party's ideology and indoctrination first and cleanse ourselves. Then, we can better understand the meaning of cultivation like those who grow up in times of traditional culture naturally would have.
Master is compassionate, and he has been helping me all along. When I realized my mistakes, I repented! Fa rectification is not over yet, so there’s still time and a chance for me to catch up.