(Minghui.org) I'm a relatively new practitioner and have practiced Falun Dafa for less than three years. Although my cultivation time is short, I have experienced its power, had my body and mind purified, but most importantly, Dafa has been deeply rooted in my heart.
Miseries Abound Before Cultivating
My husband is a contractor. After making some money, he started to gamble, drink, and frequented brothels. What's more, he got acquainted with a qigong master from Beijing. It was rumored that this figure dabbled in fortune-telling, Feng Shui, and had the ability of teleportation. Many people consulted him after encountering problems and illnesses, especially government officials.
My husband was also crazy about that master. A lot of people owed my husband money, so he consulted him and was given a charm. The master claimed that after burning it at home, people would pay him, but that never happened.
My husband went to see that qigong master again. Shortly after he left home, someone who owed him money came. When my husband came back, he looked at me with a strange expression and said,“That's it. Did that person assault you?”
“What are you talking about?” I replied. “That person didn't even enter the door” He tried to force me to admit that person had assaulted me. I got angry and couldn't stand such an insult.
The next day, he visited the qigong master again. After returning home, he started drinking alcohol, and hit my head with an alcohol bottle. The person who was with my husband said, “Admit you were assaulted so my brother's money can be collected.” I was so angry I almost fainted.
I became so desperate that I didn't want to live anymore. I thought: “I have to go clear up things with this qigong master before I die.”
Because my husband was afraid that I would visit the master, he locked the gate of the courtyard. I still could get out, though, and found the master and questioned him. He claimed that he knew what happened, so I pointed at the sky and said, “Heaven please testify for me. If I did such a thing, then strike me with thunderbolts, if I didn't, then he will be struck by thunderbolts!”
My husband had just arrived and slapped me. Afterward, I heard that the qigong master disappeared without a trace. Apparently, several families who went to see him ended up with disharmony in their family relationships.
My husband continued to gamble, drink, and frequented brothels. I no longer wanted to live, but whenever I contemplated death, something happened that prevented me from dying. Later, after learning Dafa, I realized that Master Li (the founder) had been protecting me.
Dafa Dissolved my Resentment Toward my Husband
My daughter started Dafa cultivation before me. She told me that Dafa was the true Buddha Fa and urged me to learn it too. At first, I didn't understand what cultivation was about, and what enlightenment and cultivating xinxing represented. I just liked the words Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance. So my initial thought was to become a good person by letting go of family conflicts.
After I obtained Dafa, I wanted to study the Fa well and forget the past. Because I live in a mountain area, and have little contact with others, my cultivation progress was very slow. I was anxious, and longed to have a group cultivation environment. Master saw that I had the heart to improve and soon arranged for me to get a temporary job. Within a month, I found a practitioner and a Fa-study group.
I then found a job as a caregiver for a 90-year-old practitioner. Since I came to her home, I met up with different issues which helped me improve my xinxing. Her daughter complained that more gas was used than before, so the elderly practitioner decided to buy meals instead of cooking food at home.
Once I went out to buy food for her and bought myself a meat pie. She scolded me: “Don't you just want to eat meat?” Then she blamed me for other things using nasty words. This time, I really couldn't bear it. I thought: “It's more expensive to buy anything else. It cost only two yuan to buy a pie. I could have eaten two, but I only bought one to save her money.” I couldn't hold my tears anymore.
I recounted how I never spent any extra money on myself and was restricted when spending her money. However, I was scolded every day for doing things that did not satisfy her. I used to be bullied by my husband and thought once I learned Dafa, I could get some sympathy and help in this cultivation group. I never thought that they would act worse than ordinary people!
While I was still feeling resentful and couldn't fall asleep, the elderly practitioner came to my room and said: "Sorry, I hurt you. Let's talk. Tell me the things I did wrong. I'll tell you what your problems are.” I dumped out all my grievances and dissatisfaction with her. Unexpectedly, instead of getting angry, she acknowledged them and said those were all her faults.
She also pointed out my problems: For example, I liked to hear nice words, didn't look at problems based on the Fa, and used human notions to assess things. I felt what she pointed out were all facts, and it was for my own good. My heart suddenly became light.
Master said, “To tell you the truth, the entire cultivation process for a practitioner is one of constantly giving up human attachments.” (Lecture One, in Zhuan Falun)
I recited this piece of the Fa teaching to her, and said that I didn't understand what it meant to improve my xinxing, and what cultivation was. It turned out that Master arranged opportunities for me to improve my xinxing, but I didn't understand it.
I'm very grateful for Master's arrangements. Since then, I have deepened my understanding of the Fa teachings and have worked harder on studying the Fa. My mind has opened up!
Master said:
"Forbearance is the key to improving one’s xinxing. To endure with anger, grievance, or tears is the forbearance of an everyday person who is attached to his concerns. To endure completely without anger or grievance is the forbearance of a cultivator." (“What is Forbearance (Ren)?”, Essentials for Further Advancement)
Master's Fa teaching reached my heart. In the past, I felt that my tolerance was beyond that of ordinary people. Now, I know that was not the case; I am still far below Dafa's requirements.
With the continuous improvement of my xinxing, I also let go of a lot of attachments. It was difficult, however, to let go of my resentment against my husband. I have looked at Master Li's portrait several times and said: “Master, how can I let go of my hatred for him?”
Through more and more Fa-study, and reciting the Fa, I gradually understood there was a relationship between ordinary people's gratitude and resentment. Since I am practicing Dafa, I must thoroughly resolve these issues and let go of my resentment.
For the first time in many years, I took the initiative to talk to my husband in a peaceful tone. It was also the first time that he spoke to me peacefully. I told him not to gamble, drink and frequent brothels in the future, to be a kind and good person, and pay off his debts as soon as possible. If there was not enough money, my daughter and I would help him.
He was very touched. I told him about the beauty of Dafa, and how if it were not for great and compassionate Master, the grievances between us would not be resolved in this lifetime. He accepted Dafa and later quit the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) and its youth organizations.
He later became seriously ill, lost a lot of weight, and couldn't get up. I told him to sincerely recite: “Falun Dafa is good! Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance” is good! I begged Master to help him.
He called me one day: “While I was reciting 'Falun Dafa is good, Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good,' a warm current came through my heart, and my stomach didn't hurt anymore. The next day, I was back to normal.” I knew that it was Master who took care of him.
I know that Dafa reunited my broken family, and turned my hate-filled heart into a compassionate and kind one. Master helped me get out of the dirty mud pit. It is the greatest blessing of my life that I am able to cultivate in this pure land of Dafa!
Category: Improving Oneself
