(Minghui.org) I was born into an upper-middle-class family and raised like a princess. That sheltered environment made me weak, both physically and mentally. Consequently, I could not do anything around the household after I was married. Chores like cooking and cleaning were too difficult for me; I would break down in tears if things did not go as planned. Luckily, my husband was very patient with me, and we lived a happy life.
A string of unfortunate events in my thirties left us in a bad financial state, and my health also deteriorated.
However, in 1999 my life took a turn for the better when I started to practice Falun Dafa. My outlook completely changed after practicing for only a few months.
Cultivation During the Fa-rectification Period
On July 20, 1999, the Chinese communist government led by Jiang Zemin (former Party leader) started its relentless persecution of Falun Dafa.
I was lost and did not know what to do. After some intense Fa-study and deep thought, I boarded the train to Beijing on November 19, 2000 to appeal for justice for Falun Dafa.
I was illegally detained twice as a result, and sent to a brainwashing center. While in detention I endured force-feedings and other forms of torture. After my release, I left my hometown to avoid arrest and became homeless.
In April 2004 a local coordinator said to me: “Many practitioners have been arrested and suffered persecution in recent years. I heard that practitioners in your hometown live in intense fear. They don't even dare to talk to each other, and are afraid to pick up Falun Dafa informational materials from us. We've had to deliver the materials to them. Do you think you can take on this responsibility to help the practitioners in your hometown elevate their cultivation state?”
I was frightened at first and hesitated. I had left my hometown over safety concerns; town officials would regularly go to my home to look for me. Deep down, I did not want to go back. However, there are no coincidences in cultivation; everything happens for a good reason. So I agreed to do it.
The coordinator said: “Great, let's start tomorrow.” I could not sleep that night, with scenes of being arrested and tortured flashing through my mind. I asked Master Li (the founder) for support and recited his poem:
“A Great Enlightened One fears no hardshipHaving forged an adamantine willFree of attachment to living or dyingHe walks the path of Fa-rectificationconfident and poised”(“Righteous Thoughts and Righteous Actions” from Hong Yin Vol. II)
I sent forth righteous thoughts for the entire night.
I was still very anxious the next morning, and not at all mentally prepared. I heard a compassionate voice say to me: “I will lead you!” My whole body shook: it was Master! That was how I took the first step.
I improved a lot in cultivation during the two years following. I became braver and more responsible. Regardless of the weather, or if I wasn't feeling well, I did not miss one delivery. All of the hardships I endured made me a more mature cultivator.
Producing Informational Materials on My Own
After returning home in the fall of 2005, I took on the job of producing and printing informational materials about Falun Dafa for our local area.
It was difficult in the beginning. The practitioners who delivered the computer and printer showed me how to produce the materials, and turn the pages into booklets.
I started the operation the next day. I was very nervous and tried to calm down by imploring Master for support.
When the printer ran out of paper, I added more. When the printer stopped printing, I did not know what to do, but I remembered Master's words:
“Dafa disciples’ cultivation is done among ordinary people, and this is something never done before in history. If you each travel well your respective paths there are bound to be difficulties, and going forward to meet those difficulties head-on is for the sake of validating Dafa, saving all beings, doing away with the old forces’ arrangements, and countering the persecution. The cultivation done in the past never had these things, and Dafa disciples are the pioneers. That is why in cultivation sometimes you will do well, and sometimes you won’t know what to do. When you encounter difficulties, sit down and study the Fa some more, and as long as you are righteous in thought and action, there will be no barrier that you can’t pass through.” (“A Reply to the Dafa Disciples of Peru” from The Essentials of Diligent Progress Vol. III)
I sat down, studied the Fa, and sent forth righteous thoughts to ask Master for support. After a while, an image of an ink bottle appeared in my mind. I thought, “Maybe it is a hint.” So I replaced the ink, and the printer started working again. I thanked Master for pointing it out to me.
Many practitioners in my area were arrested during that time. Fear overcame me whenever I heard that a nearby practitioner was arrested. My brain became numb, and I could hear police sirens in my head. I knew it was interference from another dimension trying to expand my fear. It got so bad that I could not even download files from the Minghui website. I stood in front of the computer and sent forth righteous thoughts to eliminate any interference. Eventually, I decided to give my life to Master. My heart felt light and the fear disappeared after I'd had that thought.
I live off the main road, and at times, I was scared. However, I believed that going forward in timid steps is better than not going forward at all. Part of my attachment was eliminated after every little breakthrough. It is important to believe in Master and the Fa.
Whenever I encountered a blockage, I studied the Fa, asked Master for help, sent forth righteous thoughts, and searched within myself. The problems were resolved when I elevated my xinxing.
Master said:
“The great Fa is boundless—cultivation depends entirely on your heart; as for how high your cultivation level can reach, it all depends on your endurance and your ability to bear hardship.” (Zhuan Falun)
My understanding is that as long as I cultivate myself wholeheartedly, Master will help me find a way to overcome anything.
I was always pressed for time but managed to produce a few different types of informational materials for our area, including the Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party. I also had to allocate time to study the Fa, do the exercises, and send forth righteous thoughts.
After two years I had become proficient at printing and matured as a practitioner. I thought it was time to invite more practitioners to join the project. But with this thought I began to worry again. Even though doing the work myself was time- consuming, at least I was safe. I feared that if too many practitioners knew what I was doing, it would be riskier.
During meditation, a scene appeared in my mind: I was sitting in the lotus position on the very top of a wave in the ocean. I understood Master was trying to tell me not to be scared—just do what I needed to do.
I reached out to a few practitioners who were steady in cultivation and had supportive environments. After sharing with them individually, four agreed to join the project. Safety was always my top priority, so communication among the team members was on a need-to-know basis. I was busy, but happy, as I knew I was doing what I should do.
Many of my attachments, such as showing off, shirking responsibilities, and zealotry, surfaced while training new hands in the project. Some practitioners were quick learners, but some were slow to pick up new things. It was a great test of my patience. In the end, the project blossomed.
I have always strictly followed the Minghui website's guidelines on publications. I only downloaded articles from the Minghui website and never used other sources. To protect other practitioners I paid special attention to the cultivation of speech.
Reflecting on the past 19 years, I have encountered many difficulties and dangerous situations. There were times when I was the only one left in the booklet printing project, but I refused to give up. I am determined to do well what I ought to do.
