Cultivating Myself While Working for Malaysia NTDTV
(Minghui.org) Greetings, venerable Master! Greetings, fellow practitioners!
I began practicing Falun Dafa in 2009, and ten years have flashed by. I began writing news for the New Tang Dynasty TV Station (NTDTV) in Malaysia in early 2011. As a new practitioner I felt so fortunate to work with fellow practitioners every day.
I never read the news before I began practicing. In my dreams I saw a big golden pen, soon after I began working for the TV station. I knew Master had given me my Fa instrument to validate the Fa.
I found it easy to write news articles, and I knew it was because Master was helping me. Every morning I wrote a China Forbidden News article. In the afternoons I wrote seven or eight news articles for the TV station’s website. Several practitioners typed out the quotes from the interviews. I usually wrote articles from interviews for the NTDTV website.
When I first began working for the TV station, I heard that the website was profitable, so I enjoyed writing news articles for it. Writing from morning until evening didn’t tire me out. The European and American news platforms hadn't been launched yet.
My Tribulations Begin
My environment was very comfortable before 2015, and I didn't encounter any tribulations. I subsequently began to increasingly slack off in my cultivation and didn't pay attention to my thoughts. I began to skip doing the exercises as well as Fa study.
I began to encounter interference in the form of thought karma. I truly wanted to cultivate, but I was pulled down by all sorts of thought karma. I just couldn’t remain diligent. I kept telling other practitioners that I would encounter a major obstacle if I continued on this way.
The obstacle finally arrived at the end of November because I “pursued” it. I experienced a family tribulation. I woke up and started to practice diligently. A practitioner from China came to my city in late November 2015. Her family tribulation was bigger than mine, but she didn't let it bother her. I felt ashamed, and after I eliminated my attachment the tribulation magically dissolved.
That practitioner also later worked for NTDTV. In early 2017, I took a full-time job writing news for the NTDTV website because it needed manpower badly.
Realizing I Can't Take Criticism
Nothing bothered me before 2017, no matter how complicated my working environment was or how many xinxing tests I had. I stayed calm, I wrote several articles, and the coordinator kept praising me. I didn't realize that I wanted only to be praised and that I couldn't take any criticism.
All sorts of conflicts surfaced after I took the full-time job at the NTDTV website. Other practitioners kept scrutinizing my articles, and the articles I wrote were often taken down or not used. But some of those articles were used by other practitioner-run media, and some were even made into videos. I became more upset.
By looking inward, I realized that I had a strong attachment to competition. If someone picked apart my article, my first thought was to defend my work no matter whether I was right or wrong. The conflicts got more intense. Every day I was angry and upset because I wasn’t examining myself when I encountered problems. Instead, I looked for others' faults. I complained that practitioners kept criticizing me and critiquing my articles, even though our website had other problems.
The conflicts became so intense that I was ready to quit. One night I happened to read the following Fa.
“If you are unable to look at things properly, if you are unable to regard yourself as a cultivator and look inside, you will really have no way to cultivate.” (“Fa Teaching Given at the 2014 San Francisco Fa Conference”)
I began to examine myself for attachments and found that I had many issues. I always looked externally and blamed others. I also had malicious thoughts about others and failed to think of my co-workers as a team. I was selfish. I didn't want to examine my articles or accept anyone's opinion about them. I had not behaved like a practitioner.
I sent righteous thoughts to dissolve all the elements that prevented me from looking inside and cultivating myself. I suddenly realized that the old forces had set a trap for me. They intended to use my separation from other practitioners to force me to leave the website. I also realized that I was supposed to work as a TV reporter, but I had avoided it. I just wanted to write news articles for the website and not shoulder my responsibility. The old forces used this loophole to keep making gaps between myself and other practitioners.
In order to avoid being criticized by other practitioners, I divided my work into three portions last year. In addition to the full-time website job, I added two other jobs. I felt that the less I wrote, the fewer conflicts I would have. But because I hadn't improved my xinxing, the conflicts kept coming.
I became upset with my news team leader. He gave me a title but later gave it to another practitioner. I was still upset that evening when I sent righteous thoughts. I examined myself to see what my attachment was. I then remembered what Master said in Zhuan Falun,
“Sometimes, you think that something should be yours, and others also tell you that it is yours. Actually, it is not. You may believe that it is yours, but in the end it is not yours. Through this process, it can be seen whether you can give it up or not. If you cannot let it go, it is an attachment. This method must be used to get rid of your attachment to self-interest.” (Lecture Seven, Zhuan Falun)
I was surprised. It seemed I had an attachment to self-interest! For the next few days I targeted it when I sent righteous thoughts.
The coordinator severely criticized me this September. Although I did not agree with him, I found that I no longer became as angry as before. Everyone wants our website to keep improving and become part of mainstream media as Master asked.
I've always worked towards this goal, so I should accept others’ opinions with an open mind. I should look inward and cultivate myself even though I may not agree with him.
Another article was canceled this month, but this time it didn't bother me. I realized that it all targeted my attachment. I was determined to just do my best and do what I needed to do.
I suddenly felt calm and peaceful. I felt like no conflict could bother me and I couldn't be touched by emotion or sorrow. My body felt light and energized and I no longer dozed off when I meditated. I felt that this was the state practitioners should be in. Failing to maintain this state was caused by heavy attachments.
Becoming Diligent Helped Eliminate My Attachments
My xinxing is still very poor, and I have not yet met Master’s requirements. But I get up every morning at 3:00 a.m. to do the exercises. The one-hour-long wheel-holding exercise music was made available in November 2018. I began getting up half an hour earlier to practice the exercises. After sending righteous thoughts at 6:00 a.m. I attend our online group Fa-study until 7:30 a.m. I then start to write the news with almost no break throughout the day. I leave work after sending righteous thoughts at 6:00 p.m.
I join other practitioners at 8:00 p.m. to read one lecture of Zhuan Falun. I log on to a platform at 9:00 p.m. to study the Fa for two hours. This is my daily schedule. Every day I study the Fa for over four hours and practice the exercises for two and half hours.
I think that I've become so diligent recently because I work with a very good team, the NTDTV Asia Pacific News group. We work on the same platform, just like working in an office. If anyone encounters any problems, we can share with others and help resolve it. We also send righteous thoughts together.
When I practiced by myself I read the Fa very quickly, and often read words wrong. I never paid much attention. Fellow practitioners in my work group patiently corrected me, and said that reading words wrong disrespects Master and the Fa.
Twelve Udumbara flowers bloomed on my bookcase in November 2018. I have experienced many amazing things since I began practicing Falun Dafa. When I began practicing I saw a golden spinning Falun. When I practice the exercises, I often see heavenly maidens scattering flowers.
I am the happiest and most fortunate person in this universe for being allowed to practice Falun Dafa!
Thank you, Master! Thank you, fellow practitioners!
(Presented at the NTD and Epoch Times Fa Conference)