Finding Peace Within Myself
(Minghui.org) I am an 87-year-old retired Indian army officer. Looking back at my ten years of Dafa cultivation, I am amazed at Master’s arranging of landmark events throughout my life that set the stage for my learning Falun Dafa and for the subsequent arrangements in my journey.
It was definitely no coincidence that seeking relief for a persistent frozen shoulder led me to an acupuncturist who is a Falun Dafa practitioner. He showed me the exercises and gave me the books. I started reading Zhuan Falun, the main book of Falun Dafa. It seemed like a treasure chest of wisdom about life and living. As I kept reading it, I started obtaining more insights and wisdom, and soon discovered that my frozen shoulder symptoms had disappeared.
Looking back at my youth, I recall how I always looked for answers to questions about my existence, where I came from, where I would go, and if there was anything like reincarnation. I did not find the answers from my family or teachers. But I was aware of the reality and could come to terms with differences in social status, the disparity between rich and poor, and so on.
My family upbringing was such that we were tolerant of all religions and denominations. I was born a Hindu, but growing up in a boarding school run by Christian missionaries made me imbibe the tenets of Christianity without embracing the religion.
I joined the army at the young age of 17 out of a need to be self-sufficient and independent. I worked my way up through hard work, discipline, and diligence. When I retired as a Lieutenant Colonel, I wanted to wean myself off of the trappings of an army officer’s life.
Giving up drinking, smoking, and socializing was not difficult, but I indulged in playing the stock market and horse racing. I was never a loser on any account, and this gave me the confidence and joy of placing bets and winning. After I came into Dafa, I asked a veteran practitioner about what Master had to say regarding playing the stock market. That got me thinking, but it was too deeply-rooted for me to give up.
Cultivating Away My Attachments
When I started my cultivation, I read the book regularly and used to go to a park nearby to do the exercises on my own because there were no practitioners living nearby. When I did the exercises, I wanted people to ask me what I was doing so that I could tell them about Falun Gong, but they never asked. I started giving out flyers, and although some people showed some interest, they were not keen on learning the exercises. I gave many copies of Zhuan Falun to family members and acquaintances, but not many have taken up cultivation. I have come to believe that only those who are predestined will take up cultivation seriously.
Little by little I became more aware of my attachments. It was not difficult for me to give up simple things like having tea and snacks at certain times. I know there are many attachments I have to give up, and I know they will be exposed as I cultivate.
Giving Up Sentimentality
Five years ago, I lost my wife of 60 years, and it was a big blow. But after shedding tears, I gained my composure. I knew her time had come and that I had no control over it. I kept some happy memories, but I let them go when I remembered what Master says about giving up sentimentality and not giving in to emotions that can deteriorate the quality of one’s life. Replaying the past again and again was not going to help me.
A couple of months back, I lost my son. It is always difficult for a parent to see his child pass away. I was sad, but in my mind I recalled Master’s teaching, that we have no control over other people’s fates.
I have many grandchildren and great-grandchildren. I have affection for them, but the sentimentality has been replaced with compassion and a sense of responsibility that I feel for all children.
Falun Dafa has taught me not to have any pursuits, not to make comparisons, and not to rely on anything or anyone.
Repaying a Karmic Debt
I decided to stop all speculative activities in the stock market in October 2016, and advised my stock broker accordingly. I closed all transactions, some at a loss, but overall I made a considerable profit. My broker then entered into a transaction without my approval. When I questioned him, he pleaded with me to stay with the deal and promised it would be a gold mine. I agreed, and suspended the closure of my account purely out of greed.
That was the beginning of a nightmare. My losses spiraled, and my broker egged me on to pump in more money to try to recover the losses. I finally woke up when I had lost three quarters of my savings. I had the option of pumping in more money or report the matter to the Stock Dealers Brokerage House. The latter option would mean that my broker, a young man with a wife and child, would be blacklisted and lose his job or end up in prison.
I realized in my quiet moments how much compassion Master had empowered me with, and how I was helped in paying off a huge karmic debt. I was happy I had made the right decision, and in my heart I thanked the broker for eliminating my debt and attachment. After this incident in early 2017, I completely withdrew from speculation in the stock market and horse racing. I remain only an investor.
I learned a bitter lesson, but I have no regrets. After removing such a major attachment, I found eliminating other attachments much easier. I learned a valuable lesson: as Master says, you cannot have what is not yours.
I thank Master for helping me find peace within myself. My cultivation process continues, and I gain new insights almost every day. Very often I find answers to my questions when I open up Zhuan Falun to read. I do the exercises and study the Fa, but I need to resolve to send righteous thoughts more than the few times I do it every day. Also, so far, I have only been able to clarify the truth to those who show some interest in finding out more about Faun Dafa.
I know in my heart that Master has a purpose for me, and I will continue on my cultivation path in a steadfast manner and put in my best effort to dissolve my fundamental attachments.
Category: Journeys of Cultivation