Lessons Learned from the Attachment of Showing Off
(Minghui.org) I am a Falun Dafa practitioner residing in China. In recent years, several experiences have given me reason to seriously review my cultivation state. Only after thinking them over did I realize that my unrighteous thoughts have led to demonic interference and additional tribulations on my path of cultivation.
While getting out of my car one day, I suddenly fell to my knees and immediately felt a great deal of pain. Right away, my first thought was that I was okay. I stood up for a while and walked normally. However, in the following days, my knees were quite painful, and I could hardly perform the sitting meditation. Walking became very painful as well. Although I looked within to try to understand what might be the reason for this tribulation, I failed to find anything. I thought that perhaps I didn’t do the three things well enough.
In our Fa study group, I told fellow practitioners that the pain in my knees had lasted nearly two months. A practitioner asked me, “Have you said or done something that you shouldn’t?” I thought for a moment and suddenly remembered that during group Fa study, all of us sat with our legs crossed. After about 30 minutes, everybody would put down their legs when they felt pain. However, I could still carry on sitting with my legs crossed without feeling any pain. I then thought in my heart, “Look! You all feel the pain, but I don’t.” What an attachment of showing off I had! Shortly after I realized this, I found that the pain was gone when doing the sitting meditation, and I could also walk normally.
I am a medical doctor who sees patients in my clinic for complaints of dizziness. I inadvertently had a thought one day, “Look! You all feel dizzy and I feel fine.” The next day, I unexpectedly felt dizzy and fainted. I could not even open my eyes, and I kept vomiting. For the first time in 19 years of cultivation, I had to take a sick day! The next day, I realized that it was my wrong thought the day before that resulted in demonic interference. I thought that I had tarnished the reputation of Dafa and felt very regretful. In tears, I immediately admitted my mistake before Master’s photo. As soon as I did this, my dizziness eased.
Once, while clarifying the truth, I told others that patients had filed complaints against many doctors in our hospital. I was the only doctor who had not received any complaints. As a result of this improper thought, I recently received a patient complaint also. The dispute began to resolve itself as soon as I realized my attachment of showing off.
Due to my attachments, I was arrested and detained for practicing Falun Dafa in 2015. I was released from detention and returned home without ever writing any confessions or statements denouncing Falun Dafa. At home, while copying the Fa, I was thinking, “Look! I was released with zero confessions while detained!” Again the attachment of showing off appeared. As a result, six or seven people suddenly came to my home, knocked on the door loudly, and said, “Is she already at work?” I was sweating in fear. As soon as I realized my show-off mentality, I immediately sat up and sent forth righteous thoughts. They knocked on the door for about ten minutes before leaving my house.
After they left, I thought it over, “Although I have practiced cultivation for so many years, why haven’t I realized my attachment of showing off? Instead, I am still prideful and unclear about the Fa principles. We have been walking on this path with ups and downs for nearly two decades, and everything has been done for us by Master Li. Without Master’s protection and the cooperation of Dafa practitioners acting together in the Fa, what can we really do on our own? What am I proud of?!”
These lessons are painful. The reason I have written this article today is that I hope that fellow practitioners who have similar circumstances can take my experiences as warnings and avoid detours in their cultivation practice. I hope we can all take the Fa as our Master so as to avoid interference from our own minds and walk firmly on the road arranged by Master.