Selfishness Lies Behind Resentment
(Minghui.org) It was probably in early August last year that a fellow practitioner wanted to see me, so I managed to find time to go to her house. Unfortunately, she was not at home, and her husband told me, “She just wanted to study the Fa with you [on Saturdays and Sundays].”
Considering that my new home was far from her place, I hoped that she could study the Fa in a group closer to her home.
However, the practitioner from the Fa-study group that I contacted declined to allow an unknown practitioner to join them. At that time, I didn’t say anything on the surface but complained in my heart, “You are so selfish.” As a practitioner, I knew well that I should look inward when I encounter conflicts.
“As a cultivatorOne always looks for one’s own faults’Tis the Way to get rid of attachments most effectivelyThere’s no way to skip ordeals, big or small[During a conflict, if you can remember:]“He’s right,And I’m wrong,”What’s to dispute?”(“Who's Right, Who's Wrong” from Hong Yin III)
By looking inward, I found my arrogance and failure to consider the situation from the perspective of my fellow practitioner. This practitioner had a strong attachment of fear because she had recently been harassed by the authorities for practicing Falun Dafa. Also, she wasn’t familiar with the practitioner I introduced her to. I knew that the practitioner I introduced was quite diligent, but this practitioner did not know her. For safety, it was understandable that she did not want to accept an unknown practitioner. My resentment went away when I realized this.
Nevertheless, the substance of resentment remained in my dimensional field, and its root was still there. It would come back again when I encountered something unsatisfactory.
I was given a bag of truth-clarification journals by a fellow practitioner. However, after returning home, I opened the bag and discovered booklets that had not yet been cut and prepared for distribution. I tried to cut two copies with a pair of scissors, but they were not cut neatly enough and didn’t look nice. The quality issues would have affected the salvation of sentient beings.
I decided to ask a practitioner in charge of a materials production site to help cut them, as she had a cutting tool. Unexpectedly, the practitioner turned me down and said, “We have no cutting machine, and we no longer make small booklets. We make big copies of truth-clarification materials.” Even when this practitioner kept telling me that they didn’t have a cutting machine, I still insisted on her inquiring about it. Finally, the practitioner agreed to inquire about it.
However, a week later I met up with this practitioner again and asked if she had inquired about the cutting machine. Without even mentioning the machine, she directly told me that the materials production site refused to offer help, saying, “You have to make these small booklets yourselves at the place where you obtained them.”
At this moment, I thought, “Since I have these booklets, I should solve this problem and contact the materials production site myself. Whom should I look for when I run into such a problem? Of course, I have to ask the materials production site for help. If they still refuse to help, I have to find another solution. I won’t waste these materials.”
On the way back home, I felt very unhappy and complained about the fellow practitioner in my heart: “You do not cherish Dafa resources! Dafa practitioners are a whole body, and we are all validating Dafa by doing the same thing. Why do you say that this is yours and that is mine? How could you handle this situation like this? Am I not responsible for the Fa? Looking at her attitude toward me, it seemed as if I had done something wrong.” I was so resentful that I didn’t want to see her again.
As soon as this thought arose, I was immediately shocked and understood that I had created a loophole for the old forces to take advantage of. This matter targeted my attachment of resentment. The old forces used this matter to strengthen my resentment so as to reach their goal of sowing discord among practitioners. This resentment had me taken in by the old forces. How dangerous! The Fa-rectification has almost reached the end, and it’s time for me to completely remove this attachment.
Looking back, I saw that resentment appeared whenever I was displeased about something. Although this kind of thought occurs in a flash, as a practitioner, I must immediately repel it. Even so, the resentment seemed to surface again and again. I found it difficult to determine the root of this attachment and eliminate it.
By digging deeper, I began to see that resentment would appear whenever something delayed my own affairs or caused inconvenience in my life. I thought, “Isn’t this selfishness? When the root of resentment becomes apparent, it must be completely removed and eradicated. Selfishness can also be the root of other attachments, such as feeling unfairness in one’s heart, feeling wronged and jealous, and looking down upon and hating others. We are Dafa practitioners cultivating a righteous way, assisting Master in Fa-rectification and saving sentient beings.”
Master told us a long time ago:
“I also want to tell you that your nature in the past was actually based on egotism and selfishness. From now on, whatever you do, you should consider others first, so as to attain the righteous Enlightenment of selflessness and altruism.” (“Non-Omission in Buddha-Nature” from Falun Dafa Essentials For Further Advancement)
I have practiced cultivation for twenty years. Although I have removed a lot of attachments, some of them still persist, and they are all born of selfishness. It is now time for me to completely eliminate them so that they can no longer control me.
In this limited time for Fa-rectification cultivation practice, I will correct every thought of mine according to Dafa.
“The Fa can break all attachments, the Fa can destroy all evil, the Fa can shatter all lies, and the Fa can strengthen righteous thoughts.” (“Drive Out Interference” from Essentials for Further Advancement II)
With the boundless power of Dafa, I will break away from all selfish distractions and do the three things well. I am forever grateful for Master’s compassionate salvation, and I will walk steadfastly on the last part of the road.