Cultivating Away Resentment
(Minghui.org) A recent incident affected my xinxing; the incident was minor, but it reflected a big problem of mine.
Our family was in charge of coordinating our local practice site and the printing of Falun Dafa informational materials to be used at tourist sites. We gave up these responsibilities at the end of last year.
However, we decided to print extra copies of the materials in case there was a shortage after the duties were transferred. We printed 40,000 copies instead of the previous maximum of 20,000. It took local practitioners about a month longer to finish distributing all of the materials we had printed, and some practitioners criticized us.
During a meeting, the coordinator of the local Falun Dafa Association commented about the large amount of materials we had printed. He was concerned that what we had done might lead to waste. He also said that the information printed was not pre-approved. He even said that we had skipped the approval process using the excuse that the practitioner who was in charge of the printing did not know Chinese.
Initially, my wife and I were upset after we heard about his comments. We thought we had not wasted anything. Also, the contents were taken from the Minghui website and did not need to be pre-approved. Furthermore, the printing specifications had been translated into Chinese and explained to the coordinator. Given these factors, we were extremely upset.
I thought about clarifying this matter openly in our group or discussing it with the coordinator. However, deep down, I knew I did not need to do anything on the outside. Nothing happens to a cultivator by accident. I said to my wife that we did not need to discuss the incident anymore. I suggested we take it as an opportunity to elevate ourselves. The incident was a precious opportunity.
Through this tribulation, I realized what solidly cultivating one's xinxing really is. It was a process that included pain, letting go and elevation.
I remembered two of Teacher's poems in Hong Yin III: one is “Don't Argue”, and the other is “Who's Right, Who's Wrong”. I then recalled a famous story about a senior monk who took in and raised an orphan. However, people wrongly accused him of fathering the child out of wedlock. He endured the insults and humiliation for many years. Finally, the truth was revealed, and he reached consummation. Compared to his experience, my tribulation was nothing.
Yet, at first, I still did not believe that the occurrence was to test my xinxing, learn to endure and to give up fighting with people. Looking inward, I found that I had actually developed negative thoughts toward the local coordinator, creating a substance of resentment. This type of attachment hurts others unintentionally and hampers oneself.
My wife told me that she had recalled something that occurred in 1999, during the onset of the persecution of Falun Dafa in China. I had graduated college two years before. I gave up practicing Falun Dafa under pressure from my family and because of the Chinese government’s propaganda. I was then monitored by the authorities. My wife, who was my friend in college, came to visit me.
She recalled that I had said, “See what happened--after devoting so much to the practice all these years, I ended up like this.” I was the local assistant during my college years. Indeed, I had done a lot during those years.
I had totally forgotten what I had said. I felt shocked when my wife mentioned it. I recalled hearing similar words from two former practitioners when I was in China a few years ago. The two practitioners had been brainwashed in forced labor camps. They left the practice and did not return. I concluded that these practitioners left Dafa because of their resentments.
Indeed, many practitioners have not understood why they were persecuted, even though they were cultivating and have done a lot of work for Dafa since July 1999. Many developed the attachment of “resentment” because their reputations were damaged, and their worldly interests were infringed upon. This led to wavering in their belief in Teacher.
Many other practitioners have not understood why they have suffered a lot from illness karma tribulation, even though they have persisted in doing the three things. Some wondered why they still encountered many difficulties after cultivating in Dafa. The believed that they should be happy and have good fortune. They also developed the attachment of “resentment,” and became shaky in their belief.
Also, many practitioners have felt resentful during the past six years because the end of the Fa-rectification that Teacher has foretold still has not arrived.
These resentments sometimes are directed at everyday people or family members who had treated them badly or organizations that had not assisted them, such as the U.N. refugee office or Chinese organizations. Sometimes the resentments were not toward a particular target. They resented heaven, earth or themselves. The most dangerous resentment was to resent Teacher and Dafa.
We should understand from Dafa that there is no set example in cultivation. Everything has its causes. We inadvertently don’t notice many opportunities to elevate ourselves. The missed opportunities later accumulate as resentments.
These resentments show up as our complaints, hatred, dissatisfaction, anger, feeling unfairness, disdain, jealousy, badmouthing people, disliking people, disliking what we see and grumbling. When these feelings accumulate and suddenly explode, it causes a lot of problems and interference. The negative emotions will truly affect one's cultivation. Who can go to the heaven with resentments in their hearts?
So how shall we deal with such problems? Shall we look upon them as opportunities to elevate ourselves and begin to look inward and rid ourselves of resentment? Or shall we stay in that low realm and give up the chance to elevate ourselves? In my personal experience, cultivating away resentment is part of our assimilation to Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance.
Teacher's article “Realms” in Essentials for Further Advancement:
“A wicked person is born of jealousy.Out of selfishness and anger he complains about unfairness towards himself.A benevolent person always has a heart of compassion.With no discontentment or hatred, he takes hardship as joy.An enlightened person has no attachments at all.He quietly observes the people of the world deluded by illusions.”