(Minghui.org) My mother started practicing Dafa in the summer of 1998, and my sister and I followed suit. As I was still in elementary school, I watched Master's lectures and did the exercises with the adults.
However, the environment changed after the persecution started. I stopped practicing Dafa, even though I knew in my heart that Dafa was framed by the CCP.
I worked with a few of my college classmates in a small company that was set up by my professor after graduating. My classmates were all very hardworking and made many improvements in their work.
On the other hand, I became low-spirited. I had previously felt that I excelled in all areas, but had to work at a small company instead. And real experience with a real job only made me realize that I didn't yet have the skills to succeed on my own in society.
The gap between my classmates and me made me very sad, and I began to develop insomnia and anxiety. I lost my appetite, as well.
These negative thoughts reinforced my pessimism, causing my situation to worsen. Later on, I lost the hope to continue living and started to entertain suicidal thoughts. This was when I realized that I had symptoms of depression.
My sister brought the book Zhuan Falun to me when I was at my lowest point. I started reading it and could finally fall asleep soundly for the first time that same night.
After that, I'd read a bit of the Fa every day and gradually calmed down. However, the symptoms of depression were very strong and I continued to lose sleep and wanted to resign from my job.
I knew that if I gave up my job, I would not have the courage to continue living. I decided to change my environment by taking a leave of absence and returning home.
I did not dare to tell my family about my situation the day I returned home. Hence, they did not understand what I was doing and felt that I was making a fuss over nothing. The suicidal thoughts were tempting me and I tried very hard to control myself. I felt weak.
The next day, my mother brought me to a practitioner's house. I saw how diligent my mother and the other practitioners were. Their righteous fields gave me a calm that I had never before experienced. I was amazed by the power of Dafa.
Coincidentally, some practitioners went to the house that day and told me how to be more diligent and control my bad thoughts. I became inspired.
I persisted in studying the Fa everyday after returning to work. At that time, I was in bad shape and almost always anxious. I recite Master's Fa whenever I have the time to negate the negative or suicidal thoughts when they appeared. My situation started to improve, and my insomnia began to wane after a few months.
Never had I felt so fortunate after reading the Fa everyday. I recovered from depression in less than a year.
My values and outlook on life changed dramatically. I no longer pursued a successful life; instead, I sought a state of tranquility. I no longer think that only those that are rich are in the upper class; instead, I realized that we should admire those that choose what is good and hold fast to it. I also understand that all the bad things happen due to fate. I have become more outgoing after these realizations.
I know why I need to be tolerant and patient towards others. I face adversity with an open mind and a resilient spirit – without hate or anger. If there are things that I did not do well, I will quickly reflect on myself and be honest with my mistakes.
I suddenly realized that this is the life that I have always been pursuing.
I thank Dafa from the bottom of my heart. I will be a better person as long as I sincerely rectify my shortcomings, and I know that this is something worthwhile.
Dafa has brightened up my life, and given me hope and direction in this complex world.
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Category: Improving Oneself
