Some Thoughts on Receiving and Giving Criticism

(Minghui.org) A local practitioner became annoyed and offended when another practitioner pointed out her problem during our group Fa-study session.

I followed up by pointing out her other problem – she appeared to be angry at the practitioner who set her off.

This practitioner felt wronged, “But what she said didn’t make any sense!”

She went on to tell me a story of how a third practitioner once stayed at her house for a whole morning, chatting about useless things while she tried to get back to her routine of studying the Fa and doing truth-clarification projects. She was eventually fed up and asked her guest to leave.

She challenged me, “According to you, I’d be labeled as being angry with my guest when I drove her out of my house?”

Sensing that she thought I was implying she should remain quiet when facing criticism, I explained, “No. I’m not saying you should never ask your guest to leave or respond to today’s criticism from the other practitioner.”

“The key is to maintain a calm mind whenever we react to things,” I continued.

I used to have a similar problem – emotions tended to get the better of me while receiving or giving feedback.

I was often annoyed when noticing problems among our fellow practitioners, and I never shied away from pointing them out. However, my attitude turned many people off. They complained that I was unkind, impatient, and looked down on others.

Feeling the backlash, I became deflated and tried my best to keep my mouth shut.

Then I realized that was not on the Fa either. I came to see that I needed to get rid of my disdain for other practitioners’ omissions and shortcomings, and that it’d be fine to point out problems without passing judgments on others.

I began to talk again, and other practitioners became much more receptive when I calmly pointed out problems I observed.

Master taught us in Zhuan Falun,

“In our school of cultivation, those who cultivate among everyday people are required to cultivate precisely in ordinary human society and to fit in among everyday people as much as possible. You are not really asked to lose anything materially. It does not matter how high your position ranks or how much wealth you own. The key is whether you can let go of the attachment.”

My understanding is that true cultivation requires us to always gauge things from the Fa's perspective, instead of getting swayed by our human notions.

As practitioners, we should always see both sides of the coin, and how we give or receive criticism reflects our cultivation state.

When we point out problems to other people, we should harbor no hard feelings or other negative thoughts.

On the other hand, if we happen to be on the receiving end, we should first look within to identify our attachments. There must have been something we didn’t do well that invited other people’s criticism. It would then be fine to respond to the feedback, as long as we don’t have the urge to fight over who is right or wrong.

In a nutshell, we should all look within to identify and let go of our own attachments while encountering conflicts in cultivation and everyday life.