Returning to Dafa

(Minghui.org) I started practicing Falun Dafa in April 1999, just before the brutal persecution started.

I was arrested in 2009, when I went to Tiananmen Square to appeal for the right to practice. I was given one year of forced labor without a trial. I didn't have sufficient understanding of Dafa at the time, and succumbed to the guards’ demands. I eventually left the practice altogether.

With help offered by other practitioners, I returned to Dafa cultivation in April 2015.

Following the Path Arranged By the Old Forces

Soon after I got out of the labor camp, a practitioner said to me, “Our complying with the guards’ demands was wrong. Each of us has already made a solemn declaration to correct our mistakes. You should too.”

I didn't agree with what they did, so didn't follow suit.

One day in April 2015 I was bored and remembered that practitioners had given me several Dafa books and other materials, and decided to check them out.

Among the books were two recent teachings by Master Li Hongzhi, the founder of Falun Dafa. I thought it odd, as I couldn't understand how they got there. I picked them up and started reading. I gave them a once over, then read them a second and third time.

I realized that Dafa practitioners were supposed to validate the Fa and save sentient beings! I thought I had been practicing Dafa all along, but I had actually departed from the Fa for quite a while!

Through extensive Fa study, I realized that I had been following a path arranged by the old forces, and not the one arranged by Master.

Master said:

“… if a Dafa disciple doesn’t follow Master’s requirements, he must be following the old forces’ arrangements.” (“Be Clearheaded” from The Essentials of Diligent Progress Vol. III)

My extreme feeling of remorse and regret is impossible to describe. I asked another practitioner to help me write a solemn declaration on the Minghui website, but several days later she told me that I would have to write the statement myself.

The reason for writing a solemn declaration is to make a confession from the heart. It is also a process by which one can look within, find attachments, and eliminate the old forces’ interference.

I thought about what I had done during the past dozen years. I questioned, “How many times have I passed up opportunities to let people know about Dafa and the persecution, and how many people with predestined relationships have I missed?”

I begged Master’s forgiveness over and over.

There is a painting of a policeman kneeling in front of Master’s portrait in deep repentance on the Minghui website. I felt like that policeman was me. The practitioner's words repeated in my ears, “You still have a chance to redeem yourself.”

Making Firm Steps Forward

Master said:

“If you don't take action to save sentient beings, you will not have fulfilled your responsibility as a Dafa disciple and your cultivation will amount to nothing, for your becoming a Dafa disciple was not for the sake of your own Consummation. This means that you shoulder a monumental mission.” (“Fa Teaching at the 2009 Washington DC International Fa Conference”)

I read this passage again and again, and asked myself how I could accomplish this.

A practitioner was very helpful in showing me how to make calls on my cell phone. I tried it twice, but didn’t know how to work the phone on my own without her assistance. So I gave up.

I then tried writing letters to let people know about Dafa, but that also didn’t work well. So I decided to talk to people face to face about Dafa and the persecution.

However, when I went out to try to talk to people, I couldn’t speak, no matter how much I pushed myself. My heart would be thumping a mile a minute, and my thoughts were filled with worry and concern.

Too many hidden attachments and human notions were creating hindrances to my attempts to let people know about Dafa. I agonized over losing face, being embarrassed, rejected, and being misunderstood.

I knew that I must overcome it, so I sought out practitioners who do this regularly, and asked to go out with them, to learn from them.

I observed, listened, and made mental notes for the first few days, on how practitioners approach and talk to people, and how people react. When I felt more confident, I decided to strike out on my own.

I remember the first person I spoke to was a young man in his thirties. I'd only said a few words when he agreed to quit the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) and its affiliated organizations. I was taken aback. It was incredible.

I have since continued to talk to people directly about Dafa.

Determined To Rid Myself of All Attachments

Master said:

“…the entire cultivation process for a practitioner is one of constantly giving up human attachments.” (Zhuan Falun)

I used to believe that I was a genuine practitioner. I paid attention to studying the Fa. I never missed doing the exercises and especially felt skilled at looking inward.

Now that I have returned to Dafa, I realize that I have a long way to go on my cultivation path, and that there are still so many attachments I have not let go of, especially my attachment to money.

I always made sure that I wasn't taken advantage of when out shopping. When I went to buy a bag of rice one time, the cashier made a mistake. I didn't hesitate to point it out and get my money back. I even felt good to have been so alert, when in fact it was my attachment to self-protection and self-interest manifesting.

When I went out with other practitioners I always thought about the bus fare, and tried to find the cheapest route.

A practitioner and I would take a taxi when we went out to remote villages and share the cost. The other practitioner would sometimes forget to pay me back, but it didn't bother me too much, as I believe that Master was testing me to see if I had an attachment to self interest.

I remembered Master’s words:

“As you know, when a person reaches the Arhat level, in his heart he is not concerned about anything. He does not care at all in his heart for any ordinary human matter, and he will always be smiling and in good spirits.” (Zhuan Falun)

“If you, as a cultivator, only part with things superficially while deep down inside you still stick to something or cling to your own vital interests that you don’t allow to be undermined, I’d say to you that your cultivation is fake!” (Lecture at the First Conference in North America)

As I was memorizing these passages of the Fa, I believed that I had gotten rid of the the attachment. But was it really gone?

The practitioner forgot to pay me back one time, and I couldn’t let it go. I made sure to ask her to return my money, and did it unceremoniously. I got my money back but I was distraught.

I used to think that cultivation wasn't hard, but now I find it very hard. Human notions that are deeply rooted are indeed the most difficult to remove!

Besides the attachment to self-interest, I uncovered many other attachments that I didn’t even realize were there, including the inclination to complain, the need for self-importance, and the complete rejection of any criticism.

When practitioners reminded me that I shouldn’t complain, I promptly denied that I was complaining. I was basically lying, and rejecting the practitioners’ kind comments aimed at helping me improve.

From today on, I will work to eliminate all human attachments, to truly reach the standard required for a genuine cultivator.

Determination to Talk to People Face to Face

Master said:

“When I was just speaking about ‘the truth,’ a great deal was encompassed by that term. When we use it nowadays, we’re referring to how we tell people about the evil’s cooking up lies in order to persecute Falun Gong; to what the wicked CCP is really all about; to why Falun Gong is being persecuted; and then there’s the topic of what exactly Falun Gong is, which people are talking about, and this truth is hard for people to grasp.” (“2012 International Fa Conference at the U.S. Capital”)

I tried my best to talk to people according to Master’s requirement, but found that I wasn’t successful. The fundamental problem stemmed from me. I wasn’t studying the Fa sufficiently, and my righteous thoughts were lacking. I knew that I had to completely let go of “self” and allow my compassion to surface before I could truly save people.

I started to memorize the Fa. I not only work on memorizing Zhuan Falun but also Master's other teachings.

When I talk to people, I pay attention to their reactions. Before I hand them any materials, I first ask if they have read any pamphlet or received any phone calls regarding Dafa and the persecution, or know about quitting the CCP.

I believe that by posing these questions will help people feel my genuine concern for their welfare, so they can accept more readily the importance of what I wish to tell them.

A while back, I visited a village and talked to three people who had been Party members. They had all read informational materials about Dafa, but had not quit the Party.

I found out that it was only because they didn’t know they should, and didn’t think it was a big deal.

I spoke to them quietly, thoroughly, and with compassion. All three happily quit the Party.

Master said:

“The power of true compassion can dissolve all deviant factors, and when you talk with a person you will be emitting energy outwardly that dissolves evil things, and the evil in other dimensions will not dare to approach or control that person anymore. When you then reason with that person, he will listen, and you will be able to purge the lies infused into him by the wicked CCP, thus removing the block in his mind.” (“Fa Teaching Given in Manhattan”)

Having dedicated myself for this past year in talking to people face to face about Dafa, I realize that I am still far from the mark Master has set for me. I still have a long way to go in making more efforts to save more people.

I would like to end by quoting from Master’s Fa:

“…when it comes to the Fa-rectification and what I choose, all beings' harmonizing and completing things according to my choices and contributing their best ideas and approaches--not to change what I want, but to harmonize and complete things according to what I've said--is the best thought a being in the cosmos could have.” (Explaining the Fa During the 2003 Lantern Festival at the U.S. West Fa Conference)