Searching Inward to Eliminate Selfishness
(Minghui.org) The year of 1998 was the most important of my life. At that time, I was tired of fame, profit, sentiment and hatred. I was depressed and disappointed. I felt that there was nowhere to go, nothing to turn to, and thought about becoming a monk. I then had a magical dream one night; I stood on the edge of heaven and earth and saw a train going up to heaven. I wondered who had built the railroad to heaven. With that thought, the train gently came in front of me. Without a thought, I boarded it and ascended to heaven. A few days later, I obtained the book Zhuan Falun. Falun Dafa has given me everything, and my life seems to have gone through a new incarnation.
Master Helped Me to Eliminate the Huge Tribulation of Life and Death
One night, I was riding a bicycle back home after group Fa study. The road was usually quiet and empty, and I even wondered why it was so. My bicycle suddenly took a sharp right turn by itself, and simultaneously, a flash of light shot right in front of me from some vehicle speeding by. I calmed down and looked around. My hands were on the bicycle handles, and I was standing on a sidewalk located on a sharp corner, two meters away from the main road. Words can't describe my feelings at that moment of experiencing a life and death tribulation. I didn't know how I got off the road or how I arrived at the spot where I was standing. Everything just felt so distant. I felt no fear, nothing. Everything around me seemed to stop. I didn't know how long I'd stood there before I realized that I should go home. As soon as I started to move, I felt that one leg seemed shorter than the other. I was shocked. I didn't think that the vehicle had hit me. Why did one leg feel shorter? I put my bicycle aside in order to walk a few steps to figure things out. It turned out that my shoe's heel had broken off. The heel was thick and strong, made of wood and attached by three screws. I could only imagine the amount of force required to break such a strong heel. I was uninjured, but in those few seconds, my entire life changed.
Master saved me from death's hand and eliminated my karma. I didn't dare use everyday words to express my gratitude, but instead gave my life to Master, to follow His arrangements.
My Attachments Brought About Tribulations
The persecution of Falun Dafa was quite severe in 1999, and illness tribulations persecuted our bodies. Of course, my attachments brought about the tribulations. At that time, I visited a fellow practitioner who was suffering from severe back pain. She had been bedridden for two months and was unable to move. We shared our understandings about sickness karma for over three hours, and why cultivators didn't have illnesses. Later, she told me that she'd gotten up right after I left, completely recovered. After she told me this, I developed the attachments of showing off and zealotry. I thought that I'd cultivated well. She recovered after I visited her; this strong attachment was utilized by demons. Persecution followed, and I seemed to be severely ill. I coughed a lot and could barely breathe. I had never experienced these problems before, and it even worsened. I couldn't eat or sleep well and coughed continuously, except when I studied the Fa. This situation lasted about six months.
Later, I realized that I'd been using Dafa to heal the illness. I thought in my heart to Master: “Master, please do not give up on me. I will regard myself as just starting Falun Dafa practice today. From now on, I'll cultivate as if from the beginning. I will read the book and practice the exercises.” I hadn't practiced the exercises for a long time. I meditated first. I felt wonderful as soon as I began meditating. An hour later, I stopped coughing and didn't have any breathing problems. I had completely recovered.
Master saved me again.
What Should Really be Exchanged is My Attachment
I bought a DVD player a year ago. At that time, the salesperson told me that it could be covered by a warranty if I paid an extra 60 yuan (almost $10 USD). I didn't act like a practitioner at that time, considering only personal gain and I paid the extra money. My son played it a lot. The device stopped working one year later. I thought that I could exchange it for a new one, but wondered if that would be taking advantage of others. I thought that I'd eliminated the attachment of personal gain a long time ago; however, I found that this attachment was still strong. I realized something was wrong, so I searched inward and identified my attachment to personal gain. I sent righteous thoughts to eliminate it, then decided to buy a new one instead of exchanging the old one. My son said: “You are a fool. You paid the money, but you didn't take advantage of him.” He insisted on exchanging it, so he took it to the store. The salesperson asked to take a look at the player. It turned out that there was no problem with the player. My son had nothing to say and just took it back. It was really working just fine again. Actually, we had it tested and confirmed that it wasn't operational before my son took it to the store for exchange.
What should have been “exchanged” was actually my attachment, but I failed to realize this. Master gave me a hint through this incident to search inward at all times, eliminate attachments and save all beings compassionately.
Shen Yun Characters Emerged like Divine Beings
I watched the Shen Yun performance one day, and in the beginning, I felt that the characters in the show were emerging like divine beings. I was so excited. I understood immediately what to do. Master is saving all beings with the boundless Fa. We are just running some errands. How difficult can it be? If we think that this is difficult, it's because we haven't eliminated the attachment of fear. What are we afraid of? Evil is destroyed wherever the Shen Yun performance is.
One day while distributing Shen Yun DVDs, there was no appropriate location in front of a certain household to place them. There were only two thin and narrow wooden boards there. I sent righteous thoughts and asked the local divine guardians of the Fa for help. I stood the boards on end and placed the DVDs between them. The boards stood against the wall and seemed to “lock on” to the Shen Yun DVDs. I requested that the DVDs be given directly to the head of the household. I suddenly felt the power in other dimensions. I held compassion in my heart and tears fell from my eyes.
Cultivate the Righteous Enlightenment of Selflessness
I am deeply analyzing myself now. Have I assisted Master in Fa-rectification in every thought and deed? Have I really given up life and death and believe in Master and the Fa? I searched inward again and again. What is blocking Fa-rectification? I found attachments whenever I looked inward, and summarized them as attachments of selfishness. Selfishness is evil and deviates from Dafa. Attachment to selfishness prevents us from assimilating to Dafa and blocks Fa-rectification. We must eliminate it, cultivating as Master said, “...righteous Enlightenment of selflessness and altruism.” (“Non-Omission in Buddha-Nature” from Essentials for Further Advancement).
We can truly assist Master in Fa-rectification and complete our mission.