Dazed After a Fall, Rejoicing In My Return to Dafa
(Minghui.org) I started to learn Falun Dafa under the guidance of my mother in 1997. At first, I did not pay much attention to studying the Fa, not to mention cultivating my xinxing. I always put practice ahead of cultivation. However, with further study, I realized the preciousness of Dafa and decided to cultivate diligently. At that time, the persecution began. I went to Beijing to appeal for Dafa three times and was illegally arrested twice. At the detention center, I thought that I would not be frightened even if I were sent to a forced labor camp to be “reformed” and that I would persist to the very end. However, the evil took advantage of the loophole, and I was really sent to a forced labor camp. During that year, I understood the Fa incorrectly and left Dafa.
In January 2007, I was diagnosed with tuberculosis. With the help of fellow practitioners, I resumed cultivation in Dafa, and by April I had fully recovered. After a month, my body experienced severe tuberculosis symptoms. Because I was separated from Dafa for too long, my understanding of sickness karma was still stuck in the stage of personal cultivation. I also knew it was persecution by the old forces but did not know how to negate it. Four months later, I was extremely weak and unable to care for myself. Under strong pressure from my family, I could only go to the hospital and give up on passing the test. Treatment from the city hospital was ineffective, so I went to a provincial hospital. The doctor was not confident in treating my condition and said that it may be necessary to remove my left lung.
I knew this was the old forces' attempt on my life. I was not afraid of death at the time, but I didn't know what to do to let go of life and death. I lost confidence in myself, felt that returning to cultivation was too difficult, and planned to cultivate later. Maybe Master saw that I still had the heart to cultivate, did not give up on me, and repeatedly gave me hints. I kept tripping and even broke my front tooth once, but I did not enlighten that Master was telling me to get back up after falling down. My husband later dreamed that I started practicing Falun Gong again. I asked myself, can I really still come back to cultivation?
At this time, a fellow practitioner from another city I met in the labor camp called to ask about my recent situation. She was the one who awakened me when I decided to resume cultivation back then. I said I wanted to cultivate but was afraid of not handling myself well, bringing harm to my loved ones, and creating losses for Dafa. She told me to pay her a visit. She and another veteran practitioner traveled tirelessly to see me. When they arrived at 2:00 p.m. and I found out they had not eaten, I was very moved. I deeply remember that veteran practitioner telling me two cultivation stories, which told me that I needed to believe in Master and the Fa. This encounter shook me deeply: I realized that if I don't cultivate now, there may not be another opportunity. I was determined to resume cultivation in Dafa. No matter how difficult the path ahead is, I will walk it to the end. I cannot allow my family and relatives to face destruction because I did not do well. The prior tribulations I experienced were all because I did not study the Fa well.
Now I finally realize the importance of studying the Fa. I spent a lot of time memorizing and reciting the Fa. I could only recite three pages per day, and it took me five months to memorize the book Zhuan Falun. I have now recited the book from memory twenty times. It takes me less than half a month to recite the entire book from memory. I benefited greatly during these three years of reciting the Fa. Master showed me the Fa principles layer by layer, what real cultivation practice is, and how we can walk well the path that Master has arranged for us.
I also want to talk about a few cases of my using righteous thoughts to break through interference over the past few years, which I hope will inspire fellow practitioners. It also demonstrates that when faced with tribulations, anything is possible as long as we believe in Master and the Fa.
In order to make a living and provide myself with an environment to clarify the truth, I opened a small store near my home in 2008. I clarified the truth while doing business. At the beginning, I could clarify the truth only to people I knew but excluded strangers. With further study of the Fa, my righteous thoughts became stronger, and I started to give truth-clarification materials to strangers and clarify the facts face to face. I gave different materials depending on the type of people I encountered. There were factories, schools, hotels, and restaurants near my store. Guests came from the local area and places all over the nation. I usually gave them some materials to read first, then persuaded them to quit the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) when they came for the second time. Of course, I persuaded some people to quit during their first visit.
I met some interference during this process. One morning in 2009, I was in my store when my downstairs neighbor came to me and said that water was leaking from our bathroom into his room. I was surprised, because it was a new building and I had just moved in one year before. How could it be leaking? I said to him, “I will check it out. If it's really leaking, I will have it fixed. Don’t worry.” At the same time, I handed him some truth-clarification materials. My husband suddenly came in and shouted angrily, “Are you still giving people these materials? The community committee just told me someone reported you. The 610 Office will take you to the brainwashing classes!” Then, he grabbed the materials from my neighbor’s hands and tore them. At the time, instead of being remotely frightened, I was peaceful. I thought that I could not let my heart be moved – otherwise, I would be interfered with. This is an illusion. I must hold on to my xinxing and not let it happen. I suddenly realized that it must be related to the leak in my house. If this happened when I clarified the truth, there must be something wrong with my attitude toward truth-clarification.
When I recalled my every thought during truth-clarification, I found the problem: sometimes, when I gave strangers the materials, I would think, “will he report me?” I did not know this kind of thought was not correct and did not remove it in time. This brought problems for me over time. I calmed down after realizing the problem. Didn’t the old forces exploit a loophole? If I correct my xinxing, can they accomplish anything? I should let go of the incident from my heart, as if it never happened. I should do whatever I'm supposed to do. Master’s Fa gave me righteous thoughts, and I felt incredibly tall and strong. The evil was nothing and could not reach me. But my mother was very worried about me and was afraid that I would be persecuted. I told my mother happily, “Don’t worry. Nobody can move me. How can human beings move gods?” Nothing happened after that, and my house stopped leaking. It was like what Master said in the Fa:
“We’re not allowed to go off course while doing this. When you really cultivate on a true path nobody will dare to just go and give you trouble, and what’s more, you have my Law Bodies protecting you, so you won’t run into any danger.” (Zhuan Falun)
There is another story. Last year, one practitioner (henceforth referred to as practitioner A) who distributed materials with me was illegally arrested and sent to a brainwashing class. Because he did not pay attention to true cultivation, he gave out some names of fellow practitioners he often contacted. They were arrested one by one, including one of my relatives, who was also persecuted at the brainwashing class. I used to be close with practitioner A: we studied the Fa at the same study site, and all my truth-clarification materials came from practitioner A. When I heard news of his arrest, I did not think of anything. The police did not look for me. They used all kinds of lies to try to move me, such as threatening my family members that I would be sent to the brainwashing class as well. Other practitioners and my family members asked me to go somewhere else to evade the threat, but I did not listen to them. I would walk only the path Master arranged for me. People at the brainwashing class had nothing to do about me. Although this challenge might be more difficult, I was not afraid.
During those few days, a section of Master's Fa kept appearing in my mind:
“A magnificent cultivator, on the other hand, is able to let go of his Self and even all of his ordinary human thoughts amidst crucial trials.” (“Position” from Essentials for Further Advancement II)
I knew this was a hint from Master. I must give up all everyday-people thoughts in order to overcome the evil persecution and deny the old forces' arrangements. During Fa-study, I suddenly enlightened to the inner meaning behind this part of the Fa:
“When you learn their things you have to go join them and become one of them. Some people have bad thoughts when they’re doing qigong exercises, and when those thoughts are in line with their thinking, they’ll come teach them. But, “One good can overcome a hundred evils.” If you don’t ask for it, nobody will dare to touch you. But, if you have evil thoughts and go after bad things, they’ll come to help you, and then your cultivation will go down a demonic path. That’s the problem that comes up.” (Zhuan Falun)
I knew Master was teaching me what to do and how to remove interference. So I held my mind steady and never thought about evil things. I repositioned my heart not to be interfered with or driven by evil. I did the three things as usual.
Later, someone told me that practitioner A had betrayed me. I thought, “I am not frightened even if he betrayed me. I am doing the most righteous and best thing in the universe. Whoever dares to persecute me will be guilty of a crime.” Because of the persecution my fellow practitioner faced last time, my mother was again worried about me. I reassured her, “Don’t worry, Mom. I will be fine.” My mother said, “Alright, I will trust you one more time. If nothing happens in the next six months, I will believe that your Master protects you.” Almost a year passed, and nothing happened. My mother witnessed the power of Fa from this experience and never interfered with my business again.
These two experiences made me understand that as a practitioner, I can get through any challenge if I completely believe in Master and the Fa and act according to the requirements of Dafa. This way, any test and tribulation can be overcome. Recently, something else happened: one day, a lady came to shop at my store. I asked if she knew about the movement to withdraw from the CCP and its affiliated organizations, and she said no. I gave her a truth-clarification booklet. Just as she was reading it, a police car suddenly stopped in front of my shop, and three plainclothes officers got out. I was not scared at the time. The lady did not see the police car and had her head buried in the material. I thought, if I told her to put the materials away, wouldn't it be acknowledging the the evil persecution? It would also affect this person's being saved. I am doing the most righteous thing, and no one is worthy of interfering. I quietly looked at the doorway, my mind completely empty. At this point, the lady suddenly glanced at the doorway and quickly put the materials in her bag. Like nothing happened, the three police officers looked into my store for an instant, turned, and walked away. The lady saw my calmness and was not scared, either. I then talked to her in depth about the facts of Dafa for half an hour. Later, the police car drove away. That night, on my way home, I saw the police car parked in front of a hotel not far from my shop. I enlightened that the police may have been handling something at the hotel, and the old forces took advantage of them to interfere with me – it was only an illusion.
From these few experiences of passing tests, I enlightened that we must walk the path Master arranged for us and keep our hearts righteous. Trouble and interference will come if the heart is not righteous. If a practitioner does everything with righteous thoughts and righteous actions, no one can touch him. After realizing this, I felt my cultivation path become wider and brighter. I cultivate and clarify the truth in an upright, dignified manner. Of course, in the cultivation process I still have many attachments to remove, such as the attachment to showing off, the attachment of joy, and the attachment of pursuing ease. I have to work hard on these aspects mentioned. I have to get rid of everyday people’s attachments and save people with a pure heart. I have to be more and more diligent to repay the opportunity that Master has given me to restart my cultivation path.
This is my first article submission to Minghui.org, and it is also a summary and review of my cultivation path. I submit it as a response to Master’s test and want to communicate with fellow practitioners. Please point out and correct any shortcomings.