(Minghui.org) What I experienced deeply during my 16 years of cultivation was the understanding and process of “giving up.” The words “giving up” were a very strange concept to me prior to cultivating in Falun Dafa. Growing up I believed that only by fighting with others to get things would I obtain happiness. I was not even aware that our ancestral language included the term “give up.” During everyday life, I was very confident and thought that it was normal to fight for things no matter if I really needed them or not. If I could not acquire something the first time around, I would pursue it until I finally got it. Fighting for things became a source of happiness of my life. I fully enjoyed the full range of human emotions during the struggle.

I recall that my attachment of competence was reinforced further during the evil CCP's movements of persecuting the Chinese people. Under that kind of moral standard, I developed a whole set of rules and lessons to survive. Since then, these formed human notions controlled my entire life. My selfish thinking really generated much thought karma and that karma buried me deeply into a very selfish life. I really did not know what I was doing every day or even why I was here.

In June 1996, I was fortunate to learn Falun Gong. During the two experience-sharing conferences I attended, every practitioner had their own unique cultivation experience to share. I only had the feeling that Master is great and that I couldn’t share anything else. My attachment of self-righteousness was very strong. During my life as an everyday person my old colleagues flattered me and often told me my speeches were the best. I was very flattered when I heard that. But this didn’t work during my Dafa cultivation. When I studied the Fa, sometimes I dozed off. When I practiced the meditation, I sometimes I was in a daze. Although I wrote an article which was published on the Minghui website, one year later another practitioner wrote an article to point out that my understanding had deviated from the Fa principles. What was my problem? Why could I not advance diligently during cultivation?

After I studied Master's article “Buddha Nature,” I suddenly woke up and understood everything. I realized that all these human notions were not my true self yet these notions firmly controlled my life. The things I fought very hard to get in the past were all attachments and karma. It was not what I truly wanted. Before cultivation I did not know who I was or why I lived and I was also self-righteous. Our cultivation is to get rid of those things.

Master said,

“We don’t want political power. We have had many disciples who, when they first began cultivating, had the thought, “I’ve obtained the Fa. ‘Having heard the Dao at dawn, I can pass away at dusk.’” They were saying, “Since I’ve learned Dafa, I wouldn’t be interested in being President even if I were given the chance. I want to do cultivation.” In other words, as cultivators we want to forsake worldly gain. Cultivators don’t seek such things. What we seek is to get rid of worldly attachments.” (“2012 International Fa Conference at the U.S. Capital”)

“Giving up” is an ongoing status that practitioners should have. Only by giving up can we find our true selves.

Since that day, I began to memorize the article “Buddha Nature” in Zhuan Falun (Volume II). While it took me just over a month to memorize the whole book of Zhuan Falun, it took me two weeks to memorize this one article. I knew it was the evil's interference and I should not give up. When I was reciting, I understood that it was the thought karma generated by these human notions trying to interfere with me. So I also recited the chapter “Your Master Consciousness Needs to be Strong” in Zhuan Falun together with the article “Buddha Nature.” After two weeks, I successfully could recite both articles.

Reciting these two articles became a fight between good and evil. I persevered and soon my moral standard improved and I was not afraid of giving up everything including fame, self-interest, sentimentality and self-righteousness. I no longer dozed off during Fa-study and I am no longer in a daze while practicing the exercises and when sending forth-righteous thoughts my palm stays erect throughout. My state of cultivation also changed. During these many tribulations and passing the tests, I had learned how to look inward to find my attachments and what to do to eliminate them based on the Fa.

For a period of time, I had symptoms of dizziness and shaking. Each time it lasted from a few seconds to two to three minutes. My right hand also shook. I had worked with others to treat their illness and I knew a little about everyday people's sickness.

My symptoms from an everyday person's viewpoint seemed quite dangerous and I would have been immediately hospitalized. But I did not panic at all and I was not bothered by it nor did I tell anyone. I still did what I was supposed to do. I knew that cultivation eliminates illnesses, which is karma, even though cultivation is not meant for curing illnesses. I also knew this status was not illness and it was just an illusion. The key is whether I could give up the human notions. As much as we can give it up, is as much we will improve ourselves and the tribulation will go away. If we cannot let go, the tribulation will get bigger and bigger. We should identify and give up all human notions. After I understood these principles the symptoms never happened again.

During cultivation, I often had to deal with issues of cooperation with practitioners. When these kinds of things happened, I did not insist on my opinion and most of time I gave up my opinion.

When one of Master's Fa Lectures in US was just published I organized over 50 people to study Master's Fa. After we finished the Fa-study, we started to share cultivation experiences. After saying a few words, some practitioners interrupted me and said, “You should stop. We don't understand what you are talking about. Please let others share their experiences.” I truly respected the practitioners' opinions and immediately stopped talking and let other practitioners talk. The key was not who is right or who is wrong. Only everyday people fight over who is right or wrong. The key is to give up all attachments. Only by giving up attachments to “self,” can we assimilate to the Fa.