(Minghui.org) I experienced continuous conflicts with my daughter for quite some time. At first, I realized that I had strong affection for her and also an attachment of competition to “keep her under my control”. During the process of letting go of my affection and attachment, I felt that I was improving and good at times, but sometimes bad. Apparently, attachments remained that I hadn't found. Some practitioners shared that when we thought others weren't as good as us, this was actually our jealousy at work. I suddenly realized that this was exactly the problem, and why I was unhappy with my daughter about so many things - and for such a long time. This created family conflicts which continually worsened, eventually to the point that we couldn't communicate with each other. Actually, her situation was a reflection of my cultivation status. Only by following Dafa's principle of looking within can we solve all problems. Since I didn't study the Fa well, I didn't understand how to, nor even want to, look within. I just used a non-practitioner's approach to quickly resolve the issues. As a result, it took a long time for me to improve.
Jealousy is an attachment that cultivators must eliminate. Especially for Chinese, Teacher said:
“It is so strong that it has become natural and one does not even feel it.” (“Jealousy” from Zhuan Falun)
Since I didn't cultivate according to the Falun Dafa teachings on this issue, I didn't recognize the manifestations of jealousy for a long time. If we don't eliminate jealousy, as practitioners we can't obtain our highest cultivation status, nor can we cultivate benevolence or form a whole body. This will severely impact saving sentient beings. I list below some manifestations of jealousy quoted from Zhuan Falun:
“In the book Investiture of the Gods, Shen Gongbao found Jiang Ziya to be both old and incompetent. But the Primitive God of Heaven asked Jiang Ziya to confer titles on immortals. Shen Gongbao felt in his heart that it was unfair: ‘Why is he asked to confer titles on immortals? You see how capable I am. After my head is cut off, I can put it back on my shoulders. Why wasn’t I asked to confer titles on immortals?’ He was so jealous that he always caused troubles for Jiang Ziya.”
“Nevertheless, there may be another person in the same working group or sharing the same office with him who is quite incapable of doing anything or is good for nothing. Yet one day this incompetent person gets a promotion instead of him and even becomes his supervisor. He will feel in his heart that it is unfair and complain to his boss and coworkers, feeling very upset and quite jealous.”
“‘You’re a model worker. You can do it. You should come to work early in the morning and go home late at night. You can do all this work since you’re good at it. We aren’t good enough.’ People will be sarcastic and cynical, and so it is not easy even to be a good person.”
“...if someone is doing well, instead of feeling happy for him or her, people’s minds will feel uneasy. It can lead to this problem.”
“...for mutual disrespect and not eliminating the attachment to competition can both easily lead to jealousy.”
Someone with jealous thoughts might think that others are not as good as him, and not want to see others perform better than him. He will show “mutual disrespect” and feel that things are unfair. His behavior will be “sarcastic and cynical”, waiting for others to fail; he won't cooperate, will create trouble for others, etc. It seems to me, that jealousy and the attachment to competition are the biggest obstacles for Dafa practitioners to overcome in conflicts, resulting in noncooperation and subsequently preventing us from forming a whole body.
Please point out any gaps in my understanding.
Category: Improving Oneself
