Paying Attention to Every Word, Deed, Thought, and Notion
(Clearwisdom.net) I started practicing Falun Dafa in 2005. I am 72 years old and uneducated. I had all kinds of illnesses before I began practicing: headaches, lower back pain, joint pain, etc. Master purified my body three days after I began practicing. I no longer had any illness and my body felt light. With the assistance of other practitioners, I was able to quickly help Master rectify the Fa and do the three things. I clarified the truth and distributed materials like the Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party. With Master's blessing I was able to navigate through difficulties and pass tests with ease.
I delivered truth clarification material to a practitioner on the afternoon of November 20, 2010. On my way home, I was headed to see the coordinator. I was riding my bike when a car that was moving very fast suddenly made a right hand turn and hit the back of my bike. My lower back hit the front of her car. I was thrown to the ground and had severe pain in my lower back. There was no way I could get up. I really needed to get up and asked for Master's help. A crowd gathered to see what was going on. Even the traffic police were standing there watching and not moving. The driver jumped out of the car and angrily said, "You were riding your bike too fast. I was driving very slowly and there was no way to avoid you. Get up right now. I have urgent matters to take care of." The driver was a woman over 30 years old. I said, "Quickly! Pull me up. I won't extort money from you." She heard me. She stretched out her arm and pulled me up. She picked up my things and put them in the basket of the bicycle. She pushed my bike to the side and said, "Stay here, the light is red." She then drove away.
I stood there for a while. The light turned green. I pushed my bike ahead of me. I asked for Master's help. I asked for the protection of Master's Fashen to help me push the bike and get on it. I saw the wheels twisting. I tried to correct them and righteously said: "You are my Fa instruments. You will help me leave. There won't be any problems." Then I quickly got on my bike. I recited the Fa on the whole way to see the coordinator.
"A Great Enlightened One fears no hardship
Having forged an adamantine will
Free of attachment to living or dying
He walks the path of Fa-rectification
confident and poised "
(Righteous Thoughts and Righteous Actions from Hong Yin, Volume II, May 29, 2002)
As soon as I entered the coordinator's room, I wanted to cry but restrained myself. I hurt all over. She asked me what was the matter. I simply stated what had happened. She said, "Master is helping you to eliminate a lot of karma." She consoled me with a few words and offered to drive me home. I told her it wasn't necessary because I had Master's support and it would be fine.
I pushed my bike forward and again asked Master for his support. I quickly got back on my bike. I thought, "I am not traveling the road of an ordinary person. I'm traveling the path to godhood. Wherever I go, I will proceed without a hindrance. Afterwards I recited Master's Fa, Stirred by Reflection
When I arrived home, my daughter-in-law, who was on leave, was doing the laundry. It was time to make lunch. Usually I am the one who prepares meals. I steamed the rice even though I was in great pain. I was in such pain that tears kept coming. I endured it and started to cook. Afterwards I told my daughter-in-law that I wasn't feeling well and asked her to finish up. I laid down on the bed, covered my head, and cried bitterly.
I knew when I laid down that it was going to be difficult to get up. I was in severe pain. I stayed in bed until 9:50 p.m. I then thought: “Master, please give me the strength to practice the exercises.” I forced myself to do the first exercise. I became very uncomfortable holding the law wheel in the second exercise. I started to sweat profusely. My heart did not function well. I fell onto the side of the bed and started to vomit. My daughter-in-law heard me, came over, and asked what was the wrong. I couldn't speak. She lightly pounded on my back and shoulders with her fists to ease my sore muscles, but it was ineffective. I threw up over and over. I was in severe pain all over. My daughter-in-law supported me on the bed. I lay on the bed and thought, "I am going to die. My greatest regret is that I have never met my benevolent and mighty Master." I didn't think of anything else. My mind was a complete blank. I just waited to die. It was up to Master whether I stayed or went. I realize now that my thinking was incorrect. My righteous thoughts towards Master and the Fa were lacking.
Gradually, my heart worked normally. I no longer felt so uncomfortable. Only my lower back still hurt. Master had saved my life again.
I looked within and found many attachments: jealousy, selfishness, showing-off, saving face and not revealing my thoughts and feelings, etc. I suddenly remembered what another practitioner and I had discussed a couple of days previously. She said, "People are really difficult to save now. I tried to get six or seven people to withdraw from the Chinese Communist Party today but not a single person was willing to.” I said, "Yes, I don't want to save people. Let them do what they want to. That is their choice. There is nothing we can do." The practitioner seemed to be angry with me and left. After she left, I suddenly became alert. What did I just say? How could that practitioner just leave? I was very frightened when I recalled this. Wasn't I being used by the evil forces? I immediately looked within. Why were they able to take advantage of me? I realized that recently I subconsciously felt cold and indifferent when I was trying to save sentient beings. I thought that those remaining were unsalvageable. The evil was able to take advantage of this gap. When I became aware of this, I immediately apologized to Master, "Those words were not my words. Those words were postnatal notions utilized by the evil. Master, please forgive me!" From Master's picture, I could tell his face looked very serious. The next day I said to the practitioner, "Those words that I said yesterday were not my words." She said, "I left because I knew that wasn't you speaking."
This accident was the result of the old forces taking advantage of my gaps. I will certainly remember this very profound lesson and will cultivate well every word, deed, thought, and notion. I will always measure myself against the Fa. I will look within and not let things move me.
I caused Master to worry about me. With Master's blessing, in about a week I was mostly recovered . It was still painful to turn over in the bed. I could do light housework. On the tenth day when I was sending righteous thoughts at 6 a.m. I could not get up. My lower back still hurt. I thought, "It has already been ten days; why am I not better?" I heard a male voice say, "Hurry up and establish your mighty virtue!" The voice was particularly clear. It reverberated for a long time in my head. Tears flowed down my cheeks. That afternoon I slowly went out to save sentient beings. I didn't dare to go too far. Every day I helped Master save many people.
From now on I will always pay attention to my words, deeds, thoughts, and notions. I will cultivate myself well. I will not pay attention to ordinary people's losses and gains. I will do the three things well that Master has required of us. I will save more people and send righteous thoughts more frequently. I will study the Fa well. I will do these things seriously and not just as a formality. I will not let the evil take advantage of my gaps.