My Journey of Looking Inward and Cultivating Myself

(Minghui.org) I heard about Falun Dafa more than 20 years ago. I went to a supermarket after I got off work one day and saw a flyer. The contact person was Chinese, and it was free. At that time, the burdens of work and family stretched me to my limits, leaving me exhausted and drained. I had four children, and my husband was an alcoholic, obsessed with his mother, in debt, and without a stable job. We lived with my in-laws, who were overbearing and treated me like a slave. I had neither money nor time, and I was often bullied at work. To make matters worse, my eldest son, traumatized by witnessing gang violence, refused to go to school. When I tried to persuade him, he became violent and ended up in the hospital. No one offered to help me. I had to persevere and raise my children. During this stressful time, I heard about Falun Dafa.

After seeing that flyer, I decided to learn the exercises. About twenty Chinese people showed up that day. I always loved China, so I was delighted to see them. But they soon stopped coming. I was confused, but then I saw a news report about Falun Dafa on TV. It showed a crowd gathered in front of the Chinese Embassy in Tokyo, and someone said, “The sky has turned red...” I was astonished: How could the sky turn red? What happened? Later, a coordinator told me I could resume the exercises, so I went. This time, there were no Chinese people, and no one explained why. It wasn’t until later that I realized—the persecution had already begun. But at the time, I had no idea why it was happening or what was happening.

Sometimes people ask me, “When did you start practicing Falun Dafa?” I can’t remember the exact date. Initially, I was just in poor health. When the coordinator told me, “Practicing Falun Dafa consistently can resolve your illness,” I was skeptical. Since I worked in clinical laboratory testing, I wondered how that was possible. But after hearing them say it so many times, I decided to give it a try. I told myself, “I have my medication and inhaler with me when I have a flare-up. So I might as well stop taking them for a while and see how this goes.”

I stopped taking my medications, and a miracle happened—from that day until today, I haven’t taken any medication or inhalers. My body temperature returned to normal, and I no longer need the multiple medications, antibiotics, and inhalers I used to take every day. I truly recovered. My family also experienced positive changes. My oldest son was back a grade due to his violent behavior at home. My mother-in-law was afraid he’d have another flare-up, so she finally agreed to let me move out with the children. My son later graduated successfully.

As I continued to study the Fa and cultivate, I gradually understood why I had so many hardships—all my suffering was the result of karma I accumulated in past lifetimes, which I had to repay. Cultivation turns bad things into good ones.

I’ve also had friction with other practitioners. Each time, I’d wonder, “I didn’t say or do anything wrong. Why do they treat me like this?” This led me to distrust them. I thought, “They keep saying they cultivate Truthfulness, Compassion, and Forbearance, but some of them act differently.” So, I began to push my problems away.

Master said,

“For example, if a bottle filled with dirty things is sealed tightly and thrown into water, it will sink all the way to the bottom. You pour out some of its dirty contents. The more you empty the bottle, the higher it will float in the water.” (Lecture One, Zhuan Falun)

I felt like that sinking bottle. Because I did not look inward, I remained at the bottom of the water for too long.

Despite this, I persisted in studying the Fa. Although the trials and tribulations increased, through discussions with fellow practitioners, I gradually realized my problem—I was focused on trivial matters, and I refused to let go. I was filled with resentment. I couldn’t bear to let go, and I even thought I was right. These trials were all arranged by Master to help me improve my xinxing, but I kept pushing them away. With other practitioners’ help, I gradually learned to accept them.

I used to think that all practitioners were supposed to be “good people.” But reality has taught me that some practitioners lose their tempers, yell, and try to get others to listen. I felt unsettled, and I even thought, “He’s so smart and has studied the Fa for so long, yet he’s full of desire to show off and pursues fame and fortune.” When I discussed this with another practitioner, he kept telling me, “Look inward.” I thought, “You don’t understand my suffering at all. I’m right.” So, I fell back into my attachment. But over time, through frequent communication, I finally understood what “looking inward” truly meant.

The relationship between virtue and karma is like tossing a ball. When you’re hurt by others, you’re actually gaining virtue and eliminating karma. As long as you can endure the pain, your xinxing will improve. Such a wonderful thing! Why didn’t I see it before?

Once I realized this, my heart gradually relaxed. I stopped looking outward and learned to look inward. Seeing other practitioners bravely and honestly share their shortcomings and strive to improve, I felt both astonished and ashamed. Then I thought, “If others treat me poorly or say harsh things to me, so what? Isn’t this an opportunity to cultivate? I should be grateful.” At that moment, I truly understood the meaning of cultivation. If I didn’t realize this, and continued like this, I wouldn’t even be able to achieve the level of a beginner Arhat—this thought awakened me.

A practitioner asked me, “Do you want to become a divine, or do you want to be an ordinary person?”

I replied, “I want to become a divine! I came here to achieve enlightenment, save sentient beings, and return to my own world!”

Through this series of experiences, I finally truly felt in my heart that no matter what happens, it’s all part of cultivation.

Master taught us,

“Cultivate as you did in the beginning, and you are sure to succeed.” (“Cultivation in Dafa Is Serious”)

I will remember this teaching and cultivate more diligently to go home with Master.

Thank you, Master! Thank you, fellow practitioners!

(Selected article presented at the 2025 Japan Fa conference)