(Minghui.org) Some recent events made me realize that my cultivation state helped cause the situation to happen.
After studying Master’s two recent articles, I realized that I harbored so much anger and negativity towards people who have been manipulated by the Chinese Communist Party’s (CCP) propaganda and lies, and hateful or silent towards the persecution of Falun Gong. I felt that my frustration and anger was warranted, and that my strong words could wake them up.
When Master published the article “Wake Up,” I realized that because of my loopholes and incorrect understandings, I was fueling negative energy to the one-body of practitioners with my negativity and cultivation state.
When I am face-to-face with someone who says bad things, can I keep my heart unmoved? Or will I react to that intense desire to fight back, or will I feel afraid or pursue a result? When all that negative karma and hidden notions attack me, will I say something or do something I shouldn’t? It’s in those moments I should strengthen my main consciousness to stop reacting to those strong negative feelings inside me and instead choose to act how Master wants me to act.
Can I be humble in that moment and understand that this person is one of Master’s people? Can I remember to ask Master for help when I feel weak, to overcome an attachment? Or will I continue to strengthen that negative, evil, old force energy?
I also realize that my personal cultivation state creates my frustration with others. What I see in others reflects how I feel about myself. When I feel resentment towards others or frustration or anger, it is because I don’t feel good about my own state of cultivation, my lack of reading and exercises, lack of clarifying the truth, and lack of taking righteous thoughts seriously. I also do not feel good about my unwillingness to eliminate the attachments that I know are there but that I don’t want to let go of after all these years, like lust, laziness, and pursuit for a more comfortable life.
Master told us that we must have compassion and love for all people, and “Veterans of the practice need to do this now.” (“Wake Up”) Compassion is a very high bar. In my own understanding, the only way for us to have true righteous thoughts is to read the Fa more and do the exercises every day, and look within and cultivate ourselves well, so we are prepared to follow Master’s Fa instead of the evil, when those tribulations and temptations test us.
I’m deeply sorry that Master had to waste his efforts to remind me, once again, how to act as a basic Dafa Disciple, for Fa rectification, and ultimately for my future. But enlightening to something and fundamentally changing oneself are two completely different things. Enlightenment passes very quickly, and very soon we’re back to our old ways. I vow to act well with every opportunity I have left, with righteous thoughts and rationality instead of human emotions and sentimentality.
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