The Role of Family in Our Cultivation

(Minghui.org) Family members are the people with whom we have the most interaction. From an everyday person’s perspective, you are the one who knows yourself best. When you are out in society, you may cover up your shortcomings and show off your strengths. However, at home, you are more casual and your true side is revealed. From a cultivation perspective, from the Fa, I understand that Master Li will use other people’s words to prompt me. I also understand that using the words of family members is the most convenient way. That means that what our family members say cannot be ignored.

My family has helped me a lot in my cultivation. I would like to share my experiences.

Helping Us Find Our Attachments

My husband is a non-practitioner. The shortcomings he pointed out to me were always very accurate. However, I was often unconvinced at the time and fought with him. Later I realized that the reason for the accuracy is that he knows me well and also because Master uses his words to enlighten me.

In addition to “reminding us,” family members also have a “demonstration” role. Practitioners work hard to eliminate attachments. At the same time, everyday people also have good qualities that are worth learning from. Sometimes our own notions block us from recognizing this. Changing human notions often starts from learning from small details we often may miss.

For example, while doing household chores, I am sometimes pressed for time. Therefore, I tend to do things quickly without paying attention to quality and details. However, when I did things slowly, my husband would say I was being ineffective and inefficient.

I did discover that he was right. While hurrying to prepare the food for cooking, I did neglect too many details. This resulted in, for example, vegetables not being thoroughly washed and the outcome rather poor after cooking. While I thought I was cooking with quality, a lot of time was wasted.

My husband once pointed out that I do not observe and learn from others, and often fail to assimilate information. This is indeed one of my problems. Now, after making continuous improvements, I have progressed quite a bit.

All Things Are Connected

On the surface, it seems that it does not matter how well one does household chores. Cultivation is what matters most. But all things are connected, big or small. When I paid more attention to details in household chores, I also became more attentive when studying the Fa. I have also discovered simpler and more efficient ways to do my computer work.

Human Notions Exposed in an Argument

My husband has a bad temper. I have struggled with this for many years. I felt he was not being respectful to me. I found this to be unfair and I was quite aggrieved. Later I realized I was being narrow-minded.

For example, a while back, he became angry and yelled at me because I insisted on following a certain idea of mine. If this had happened in the past, I would definitely not have been able to bear it. This time, I wasn’t affected very much. I calmed down quickly and also realized my problem after that.

I later understood that the reason my husband was so angry was because my idea reflected in this matter was one that was persistent and lingering. That idea often manifested itself, but I was not aware of it. If I hadn’t been yelled at, I wouldn’t have found the problem at all. That problem was that I often worried about potentially troublesome things well in advance and with very negative thoughts. I did not approach those problems with a positive and confident attitude. From the standpoint of the Fa, I understand that good or bad could come from one single thought. We should think about things positively.

After this incident, when I encountered something that I felt was troublesome or daunting, I tried to change my mindset and thought to myself, “It’s okay, I can do it” instead of “Oops, it’s problematic. I can’t handle it.” I now feel that my human notions have gradually changed. I am grateful that my husband helped me realize this.

My husband often talks about my problems, but at the same time, he doesn’t like to be nagged. But his words help me realize my problems so I can improve, which is beneficial for me.

At the same time, I also discovered that some of the problems my husband had served as a mirror that allowed me to see my own problems. I also have the same issue of not liking others to pick on or nagging me. Although I have changed a lot now, I still shouldn’t take it lightly. I feel that my husband is really helping me cultivate in all aspects.

“Simple and Easy”

Master said, 

“...a great way is extremely simple and easy.” (Chapter I The Features of Falun Dafa, The Great Way of Spiritual Perfection)

I also personally experienced the principle of “simple and easy.” Some established notions might seem stubborn. In fact, they are not that difficult to change. We can start with the small things that our family reminds us of. If we don’t know, we just pay attention to what is displayed by our family. It’s that simple.

In fact, not only my family, but also friends, colleagues, and fellow practitioners are helping me, serving as different models, mirrors, and inspirations. I also realized that Master is trying his best to help us and hopes that we can succeed in cultivation. He has made all kinds of arrangements for this. Moreover, Master’s law body is always around to take care of us and will try his best to help us in simple and easy ways. 

This is my personal understanding. Please point out anything inappropriate.