Reflecting on My Recent Cultivation Journey

(Minghui.org) Greetings, revered Master! Greetings, fellow practitioners!

I’m in the eleventh-grade and study music at the Northern Academy of the Arts. I’m from Taiwan, and this is my second year here. I would like to tell you about some of my insights and recent cultivation experiences.

The Importance of Sending Righteous Thoughts

Whenever it rained on days when we planned to hold activities related to Falun Dafa, the other practitioners reminded us to send forth righteous thoughts, saying that every activity was a battle between good and evil in other dimensions. Since I can’t see anything in other dimensions, I didn’t take it too seriously. After watching the movie Once We Were Divine late last year, I deeply reflected on myself.

I never thought I had the ability to eliminate bad things, so I usually sat as if I were sending righteous thoughts, but I was only going through the motions. The movie helped me understand the power of sending righteous thoughts, and I learned that things which seemed impossible to change can only be solved with righteous thoughts.

In the movie, before Guangming was about to have his organs harvested, the divine beings in other dimensions sent forth righteous thoughts together to support him. That scene deeply impressed me, as it emphasized the power of righteous thoughts. It reminded me of what Master said in Zhuan Falun:

““When one’s Buddha-nature emerges, it will shake the World of Ten Directions.” Whoever sees it will come to give a hand and help this person out unconditionally.” (Lecture One, Zhuan Falun)

Reading Master’s articles about sending righteous thoughts during group Fa study also encouraged me to truly want to do it well.

I realized one day that my cultivation state was very poor, and I wanted to make a breakthrough. I opened the Minghui.org webpage and read several articles on sending righteous thoughts. I sent forth righteous thoughts afterwards to clear the bad things in my own dimensional field. I felt refreshed afterwards, and all the bad substances were gone. Through this experience I truly realized the importance of sending forth righteous thoughts.

Getting Along with the Opposite Sex

My teachers and classmates pointed out that I was too friendly with the male students, and gently reminded me that my behavior was not right. Although I usually just smiled, I felt a little upset in my heart. Instead of looking inward and examining my behavior, I dismissed what they said and thought the other students’ behavior was no different.

Many poems in Hong Yin VI mention modern thoughts and ways. I looked inward to see if my behavior was not in accordance with the Fa (teachings) but I didn’t think I was doing anything wrong. I overheard my teacher and a classmate discuss this issue one day, and I realized that many of the concepts I considered normal were deviated notions. The teacher told a story about how ladies in ancient times were not allowed to speak freely to men, and that even a glance was not appropriate. This was our ancestors’ moral standard. Falun Dafa practitioners are reviving and returning to tradition, but I haven’t even realized such a simple truth and think I’m better than others.

Master said:

“When someone is doing a wrong deed, he will not believe it if you point out to him that he is doing a wrong deed. That person indeed will not believe that he is doing something wrong. Some people evaluate themselves with the lowered moral standard. Because the standard of judgment has changed, they consider themselves better than others.” (Lecture One, Zhuan Falun)

Contact with the opposite sex in society is inevitable, but I needed to understand that there were boundaries. Today’s society is filled with deteriorated morals, but we practitioners should not follow them. I now realize that I have this problem, and I will try to do it better by not following the current trends. There’s old saying, “A lotus emerges from mud, yet it is pure and untainted.” As a Dafa disciple, not only should I do better myself, I should set an example for others.

Eliminating Jealousy

I was quite selfish, and the most obvious manifestation was my jealousy, which has been a difficult hurdle for me. When I was younger I argued over who was right or wrong. When I saw others get what I thought belonged to me, or when others did better than me, I felt uncomfortable. In the extended version of the movie Once We Were Divine, when Guangming feels jealous, a purple fog-like substance fills his world, the Guangming Paradise.

I was shocked when I saw that our thoughts and ideas can have such a great impact in another dimension. I realized why Master said in Zhuan Falun:

“The issue of jealousy is very serious as it directly involves the matter of whether or not you can complete cultivation. If jealousy is not abolished, everything that you have cultivated will become fragile.” (Lecture Severn, Zhuan Falun)

I realized for some time that the bad substance of jealousy was seriously affecting me, and I knew I had to face up to the problem. I was not motivated to practice or read the Fa, and I had difficulty getting up to do the exercises in the morning. My mind and body seemed to be weighed down by a heavy burden. I knew that this state was not good but I couldn’t find what was causing it.

One day when I was practicing my instrument, I realized that my bow, which I usually controlled well, was suddenly out of control, thus the tone I produced was not good.

When my teacher pointed this out I was about to make excuses for myself. Suddenly, the word “uneasiness” appeared in my mind, and I realized that my uneasiness was preventing me from progressing with my music. Because I chose to be negative about many things, I constantly complained.

Especially on the issue of auditioning for Feitian, I knew in my heart that who will be accepted and when one will be accepted is predestined. However, when I saw my classmates and friends being accepted into Feitian one after another, I still felt uncomfortable. Rather than feeling happy for them, I felt uneasy. I realized I was jealous.

When people compared me with my classmates who had already been accepted into the Feitian Academy, I had some resentment. When I heard their remarks, my heart rippled. Although I knew this happened to improve my xinxing, when I was really confronted with it, my first impulse was to complain. It felt like I was drowning in the attachments to fame, fortune, and sentimentality, and I couldn’t extricate myself from these emotions.

I realized that I was too attached to myself. Part of being considerate of others includes setting one’s selfish interests aside. I reflected on what the others said about me, and although I wasn’t thankful for the cultivation opportunity, at least there was no resentment in my heart.

I realized one day that when I saw that my classmate’s test scores were higher than mine, I was not jealous—instead, I was happy for her. I was happy to see that her hard work had finally paid off. I know that Master helped me to take away the bad substance of jealousy, and I will continue to dig out the other selfish attachments and remove them. Thank you, Master!

Improving Xinxing

We gave so many performances during the Chinese New Year that I had little time to practice my instrument. Giving performances was very stressful. I also had to do my homework and study for exams.

I didn’t do well on the tests. I also couldn’t finish my homework, and it was obvious that my teacher wasn’t happy with me. I complained and was very emotional. The day of the performance my body gave up, and I didn’t have the strength to walk.

Compounded with my previously mentioned xinxing test, I felt as if my body and mind were broken. When my teacher reminded us that it was time to study the Fa, although I felt reluctant, I knew that I should study the Fa, as I understood that only through improving myself would things change. I soon calmed down, and our performance went smoothly.

I thought that this would be over and done with, and as long as I suffered the physical pain and changed my dissatisfied mindset, everything would go back to normal. But that wasn’t the case. Previously, my stress dissipated as soon as the performance was over, but this time it was different, as unsatisfactory feelings filled my heart, and I felt very uncomfortable. I knew it must have had something to do with the fact that I hadn’t studied the Fa and done the exercises much, and I was still looking outward.

I was complaining to my mom one day about the things that made me unhappy, she was busy so she didn’t pay much attention to me on the phone. The more I talked the more agitated I became. She felt I wasn’t being nice, and she was a little mean to me. I was very upset. All I hoped for was some support from her, but instead I was told off. So I hung up the phone and continued complaining to my friend.

Afterwards, my mother shared with me the experience her supervisor had, where her boss gave her absolutely impossible tasks, and she would also be anxious, but she didn’t complain. What she did was to ask Master to give her wisdom, and at the same time try her best, and sometimes miracles happened. The more anxious and unsettled the mind is, the more the problem will stand out, and in the end the mind is exhausted, but the problem is not solved.

Master told us:

“Forbearance is the key to improving one’s xinxing. To endure with anger, grievance, or tears is the forbearance of an everyday person who is attached to his concerns. To endure completely without anger or grievance is the forbearance of a cultivator.” (“What is Forbearance (Ren)?” - Essentials for Furthur Advancement)

The Chinese character “Forbearance” (Ren 忍) is composed of a heart and a knife which hovers over it. Forbearing is really difficult, but if we can measure ourselves with the Fa, we will improve.

There are no small matters in cultivation, and seemingly trivial things are good opportunities to improve our xinxing. I am grateful to those who helped me improve.

These are my cultivation experiences, please correct me if anything is not in line with the Fa.

Thank you, Master! Thank you, fellow practitioners!

(Presented at the Northern Academy of Arts Fa Conference)