Insights Gained While Helping My Mother During an Illness Tribulation

(Minghui.org) Toward the end of May 2022, my mother came out of her bedroom one morning, complaining, “My stomach hurts, my stomach hurts.” I thought it was a small matter, since my mother had always been in good health. She had been a practitioner for over 20 years and had never had any severe illness tribulations or abnormal symptoms. With her strong voice and rosy complexion, she had always appeared full of stamina.

But on this occasion, my mother’s health unexpectedly started going downhill. Within two months, her abdomen was distended, and she ached all over, had frequent fevers, and was just plain weak.

Gaps in Cultivation Causing Illness Tribulation

My mother had been released from prison (she’d been incarcerated for her faith in Falun Dafa) and returned home four years ago. She and I then did the exercises every morning. However, starting about two years ago, my mother would fall asleep each time she did the meditation exercise. She would get angry every time I reminded her to wake up, maintaining she had been awake throughout and even accusing me of maligning her. Similarly, while holding the wheel during the second exercise, I had seen her bent over almost 90 degrees on several occasions.

Since her release from prison, my mother had not been able to cross her legs in the full lotus position. Her leg would slip down soon after she put it up. Eventually, she tied her legs up with a belt and left it at that.

My mother’s failure to stay awake during the exercises became a point of contention between us. While I was able to see it clearly, my mother just could not believe she had fallen asleep. She firmly believed that I had not seen correctly or was deliberately finding fault with her. This problem became so prevalent that it consumed my mind each morning, “Should I continue to point this out to her?”

To prove my case, I recorded my mother with a smart phone while she was meditating and showed it to her. She could hardly believe her eyes. She apologized to me and voiced her determination to remain conscious while doing the exercises. Yet two days later, my mother fell asleep again. This time, although my reminder was met with less hostility, she was unhappy with me. The problem remained unresolved, and my mother’s palms started to droop while sending forth righteous thoughts. This continued until she began to develop symptoms of sickness karma.

Getting Rid of My Attachments While Helping My Mother

What do practitioners suffering from sickness karma need? What should fellow practitioners do to help those stuck in sickness karma? The solution is simple: Practitioners need to study the Fa, practice the exercises, and send forth righteous thoughts for longer periods of time and more frequently. This is common knowledge among practitioners, even among those struck in sickness karma. Any sickness karma can be overcome if these standards are met.

However practitioners in the midst of these tribulations, particularly those suffering severe symptoms, find it hard to meet these goals on their own. They need support from other practitioners to overcome this tribulation. Throughout this process, those who help will also have to let go of their human notions and attachments.

1. Do Not Criticize or Resent Others

Because of her poor cultivation state, I firmly believed her sickness karma was caused by my mother herself. Compounded with my indignation of being falsely accused as a liar earlier, I’d begun to criticize her. Facing my aggressive accusations, my severely ill mother had no strength to counter me. Occasionally, she would plead, “Stop criticizing me. I feel sick enough already!”

Only then did I realize my behavior was unbecoming for a cultivator. I kept blaming my mother and justifying my actions as helping her. On the contrary, my actions were taking the side of the evil. My criticism was the equivalent of heaping rubbish onto my mother, dragging her down and making it impossible for her to pass this test. I had not considered her situation, and only wanted to rub in how wise I had been in spotting her problems and predicting the massive tribulation that would be coming her way. I also vented my dissatisfaction with the situation, blaming her for her failures that had led to her present state. My words were not kind at all.

Through Fa study, I discovered my being so quick to criticize stemmed from my personal resentment and was a manifestation of my selfishness. I approached and examined problems from my own perspective and even viewed people or ideas that ran counter to my wishes as hostile forces that had to be crushed. My supposedly good advice was a false front, and I had no intention of helping. On the contrary, my words and actions had been dominated by hatred and I had been venting irrationally.

When I restrained my resentment and stopped blaming my mother, I found myself empathizing with her pain and wondering what I could do to help her overcome this tribulation.

2. Do Not Force Anyone to Accept Your Guidance

After I stopped blaming my mother, my attachment to forcing her to follow my advice surfaced. I felt I had a huge responsibility to rectify her weak condition. I began telling her in detail about how to break through this tribulation, telling her to do this, do that, pay attention to this aspect, be careful in that respect, and so on. I highlighted experiences shared by practitioners close to us or experience sharing articles published on the Minghui website and told my mother to copy these approaches. Since other practitioners had managed to overcome their sickness karma tribulations, I was convinced my mother could do the same by following their examples.

Whenever my mother could not accept or understand a concept or thought it wasn’t important, I would be unhappy and think that she didn’t appreciate my efforts. Then, worry that my mother would not be able to overcome this tribulation would consume me.

In any case, I was still considering things from my own perspective and had not let go of my self-centered thoughts. I should have considered the situation from my mother’s perspective or asked her what help she needed from me. I stopped actively intervening, stopped pushing her to adopt different ways to overcome this tribulation, and stopped giving her unsolicited advice. My inner calm was restored.

With help from another practitioner, we sent righteous thoughts for my mother for three days in a row, three to four hours each day. My mother’s condition improved by leaps and bounds. When my mother walked out of the bathroom smiling and told me she was improving, I realized letting go of my human notions and sending righteous thoughts on her behalf had achieved so much more than my lectures on what to do.

As I worked on openly communicating with my mother, I discovered her unshakable faith in Master and Dafa. She knew only Dafa could save her and craved support from fellow practitioners, wishing they could study the Fa and practice the exercises with her.

3. Removing Selfish Habits I Had Developed

Through this experience, I realized I had developed some preconceived notions regarding the best way to go about cultivation. Before my mother’s illness tribulation, I spent my time memorizing and copying the Fa, firmly believing this was the only way to absorb the teachings. That made me initially reluctant to read the Fa with her. Another example involved sending righteous thoughts. I used to send forth righteous thoughts an hour or two, as I felt even 15 minutes was insufficient to settle my thoughts. In order to have the best effect, I had extended the amount of time I sent forth righteous thoughts.

When my mother developed sickness karma, I had to change my longstanding habits. My mother prefers reading the Fa out loud, becoming more energized the longer she reads. But during her illness tribulation, she could barely complete a single page by herself, either falling asleep midway or too exhausted to read aloud. To help her overcome this tribulation, I would recite the Fa with her. At the start, my mother’s voice would be weak. But as we continued, her voice would get louder while her body became more energized. Toward the end, she outdid me.

We also sent forth righteous thoughts at each standard time for the usual 15 minutes. I had to adjust accordingly and shorten the time that I sent forth righteous thoughts. As soon as I got into position, I had to remove all distracting thoughts and quickly enter an optimal state to concentrate.

At first I was very reluctant, annoyed that I had to change my approach because of my mother. Only after seeing her improve did I feel it was worth it. Deep down, I selfishly believed I was sacrificing myself for her and wanted to see my efforts bear fruit. Whenever I saw my mother’s palm droop while sending righteous thoughts, or whenever she became sleepy while reading the Fa, I would get irritated and reprimand her.

It is not easy to change one’s habits, and I felt conflicted throughout the process, fearing my ability to improve in cultivation would be adversely affected. If I was able to change my focus to my mother instead of myself, the unrest in my heart would ease, making way for optimism. Conversely, putting myself first would elicit fear of adversely effecting my cultivation progress. The stress would rile my heart, and I would feel like giving up.

Only by studying and adhering to the principles of the Fa, letting go of oneself, and expanding the capacity of one’s heart can selfish and self-centered thoughts be wiped out. What is left is the greatest virtue, selflessness. Every evening, after our Fa study sessions, I would wash the dishes in the kitchen and watch my mother resting alone on the balcony. Each time, I would express my gratitude to Master for helping my mother, while reflecting on how letting go of human notions had allowed me to spend another peaceful day with her.

4. Eliminate Impatience, Cultivate Patience and Compassion

When sending forth righteous thoughts, my mother’s palm would often droop when she felt drowsy. Despite my repeated efforts to wake her up, she was unable to sustain her attention for more than five seconds. Similarly, during the meditation exercise each morning, I would nudge her awake, only to see her fall asleep a little later.

Throughout, I found it hard to maintain my patience and continued to remind her. Reminding a person once, twice, or even three or five times is easy. But over many days, over and over, it becomes a burden. “When will this end? When will she recover?” Moreover, these intermittent interruptions were adversely affecting my own progress when sending forth righteous thoughts and doing the exercises. Out of consideration, my mother told me to practice on my own and ignore her. She would try to overcome this negative state on her own. Yet each time I saw her unconscious and asleep, my heart would be moved.

I also had to suppress my frequent lack of confidence in her. I believed that falling asleep while sending forth righteous thoughts and meditating meant that the cultivator’s efforts would amount to nothing, no matter how much they did. Also, studying the Fa each day served to reinforce my righteous thoughts and reminded me to disregard the superficial illusion of illness. But when faced with the manifestation of my mother’s symptoms, I would start to doubt myself. I found myself constantly being tempered.

My mother’s physical symptoms forced me to let go of my preconceived notions, my impatience for immediate results, and my pessimism. I learned to remain calm and unaffected each time I woke my mother up, even if I had just done so five seconds before. I also strove to avoid complaining and losing my temper.

One night while sitting in bed, I mulled over how to manage my mother’s drowsiness while still meeting the requirements for my own meditation. Just as I was about to give up in frustration, a thought flashed across my mind: “Why not practice on my own each evening? Then I could spend the morning sitting next to my mother, quietly monitoring her as she practiced. With constant reminders, she just might be able to complete the sitting meditation.” With this thought in mind, I did the sitting meditation that night. The following morning, I sat next to my mother and told her, “I did the meditation exercise last night. Today, I plan to sit next to you and help you with your practice.”

Amazingly, my mother remained awake on her own throughout that meditation session. There was virtually no need for me to wake her up. She even threw away the belt she used to secure her legs and sat in the full lotus position for more than 40 minutes. Afterwards, she told me she had managed to remain clear-headed throughout and did not feel sleepy at all. Sitting next to her, I found myself immersed in an indescribable wave of compassion and happiness, feelings I had never experienced while doing the exercises by myself. I realized that true happiness does not lie in how much one has gained or lost. Rather, it is measured by how much a person has sacrificed for others.

5. Cultivate Oneself in the Process of Helping Others

During my mother’s illness tribulation, I read a very enlightening Minghui experience sharing article. It described how several practitioners helped a fellow practitioner suffering from sickness karma to pass her ordeal. Because the practitioner was unable to lift one arm to do the second exercise, the others took turns holding her arm up so she could maintain the wheel holding position. A practitioner whose third eye was open observed a spectacular scene in another dimension where both practitioners were flying upward. This sharing moved me to tears. In comparison, my performance lagged far behind. The only effort I had made so far was to remind my mother, yet I had been conflicted about helping her.

Later, I too began holding my mother’s arms up so that she could do the wheel holding positions for the second exercise. I also helped prop her up so she could do the sitting meditation sitting up straight. Whenever her leg slipped down, I would help put it back up. When her hand began to droop when sending righteous thoughts, I would hold it in the correct position. In reality, my intervention was rarely required. Yet when I did so, I discovered my mother’s cultivation state would show great improvement.

Helping my mother did not hinder the progress of my personal cultivation. On the contrary, my gong grew rapidly, my righteous thoughts became stronger, and my inner state of calm was reinforced. The most important thing I have to accomplish on my cultivation path is letting go of myself and helping others. I discovered the process of helping others is precisely the way for me to help myself.

6. Cherish Every Moment

Practitioners undergoing illness tribulations face many obstacles. While suffering constant pain, their spirits and endurance are also tested. They struggle to maintain an upright cultivation state, and my mother was no exception. Only Dafa can clean up the source of their ailments and change their lives for the better. As we did intensive Fa study, we found our minds and bodies becoming cleaner.

Eventually, we decided to leave everything to Master and Dafa. I let go of my attachment to my mother’s superficial state, my worries about whether she could pass the test, and my obsession over recalling when I had received some enlightenment at a specific moment. After discussing it with my mother, we mutually decided to stop obsessing over her sickness karma and treat her condition lightly. After all, Dafa is boundless. Regardless of the obstacles, we must continue our journeys. We stopped fixating on the past and future and tried our best to do well in the moment.

I gradually stopped asking my mother if her symptoms had improved, and in return her health began to improve.

7. Always Remember Your Teacher Will Handle the Rest

As my mother gradually recovered, I felt joy and unconsciously began showing off, taking credit for her improvement. I would constantly go over the positive things I had done, wallowing in pride—I had forgotten that my so-called achievements were done by Master.

“Cultivation depends on one’s own efforts, while the transformation of gong is done by one’s master.” (Lecture One, Zhuan Falun)

All my efforts would have been in vain without Dafa and Master. After correcting my erroneous thinking, my mind became peaceful, and I lost the desire to show off.

I would like to convey my gratitude to two fellow practitioners who quietly supported my mother through these difficult two months. One, as I mentioned earlier, sent righteous thoughts with me for my mother. The other is my aunt.

My mother has basically broken through her illness tribulation and has had huge breakthroughs in her cultivation. We have decided to start anew, to support each other in the precious remaining time left, regain our original state of diligence, and help Master save more sentient beings during this Fa-rectification period.