Cultivating Amid Conflicts

(Minghui.org) My 15-year marriage was filled with tribulation, misery and pain. My husband quit his job 10 days ago, despite being heavily in debt and unable to find another job. He wanted to seek work in the large city where I live, but I really didn’t want him to come. His actions had caused difficulty for our life, and if he came, he would interfere with the things I have been doing to help save people by helping them understand the goodness of Falun Dafa. 

Looking inward, I found that I was excluding my husband. It reminded me of the two practitioners in my Fa study group who excluded others. I realized that Master, Falun Dafa’s founder, wanted me to see that I was doing the same thing as the two practitioners. Those two practitioners excluded me when I failed to look inward, and eventually ignored me altogether when I didn’t show signs of improvement in this regard. What they did to me was superficial, but what I did to my husband was hidden inside my heart and no one else could see it. I’ve helped my husband pay off his debts in the past, which could have touched others, however it was a superficial way to cover up my dislike and rejection of him. If I didn’t change my heart, everything I did on the surface would be fake. In the past, when those two practitioners talked ill about others in front of me, I didn’t feel that anything was wrong, and instead, I enjoyed listening to what they said about others. I was just the same as them!

Their rejection of me was actually helping me improve. Without such behavior on their part, I wouldn’t have recognized my invisible rejection of my husband. I no longer felt wronged. My perception had shifted instantly, my inner being felt warm, and my mind opened up. I thought in the past that being more tolerant could expand one’s mind, but now I just realized that a change in one’s perception could broaden one’s mind exponentially.

Subsequently, I could feel that those two practitioners were also improving amid conflicts, and we are still one indestructible body, supporting each other without reservation. The conflicts now give me a different feeling; it’s no longer a painful process, but more like, after our group has progressed to a certain level, we rise to the next level. As long as our understanding is based on the Fa, our group can make a leap forward in qualitative change.

If I truly wanted to change myself, I should invite my husband to stay with me. I couldn’t just reject him while claiming, “I don’t want the heart of feeling disgusted with him,” which would be a joke. I decided to sublet my 40 square meter (about 430 square feet) apartment and rented an 80 square meter house. Everything went smoothly and I found the lowest rental lease. I provided a ride for my husband to get him to my city. When I studied the Fa that day, many principles were revealed to me. I realized that as I had improved my xinxing (character), the Fa at a certain level was unveiled to me.

My husband had a cold and was coughing hard when he arrived. One moment he would ask me to cook ginger soup for him while another moment he would ask me to cook a meal for him. I realized that serving him is to cultivate my heart that protects all sentient beings, which is what Master had arranged. When I heard his negative words and saw his improper deeds, I knew it was Master who had arranged me to cultivate my heart of understanding and forgiving others. When I was tired after serving my husband, I thought it was Master who had arranged me to cultivate my heart of enduring hardships for others. I understand that if I am to reach a noble realm through cultivation, I have to encounter a proper real life candidate, through serving one like my husband. I can then cultivate well and reach the goal. It is not something that can be achieved just by imagination.

My husband’s cold symptoms improved a few days later. I said, “You look much better, and younger than before.” He replied, “Thank you for doing a good job!” I said, while feeling a little ashamed, “It’s not me. Master is the one who helped you.”