Discovering and Getting Rid of the Hidden “Self”

(Minghui.org) The “self” or ego has become part of human beings, and it’s difficult to recognize when it is affecting our behavior. I wouldn’t have noticed it if I weren’t a Falun Dafa practitioner, and I would have believed that I was thinking about certain issues.

Something happened to Mei, and I wanted to share my understanding based on the Fa with her. She refused to listen to what I wanted to say and said, “It’s a personal issue, and I’m not at liberty to tell you.” I felt rejected and that she mistrusted me. We often say that practitioners are “one body,” so what happened in this instance? I couldn’t understand her behavior, and I didn’t feel good about the situation.

A few days later, in front of other practitioners, Mei talked about how she resolved her problem. I didn’t want to hear it, but I listened anyway. After a while, I just wanted to leave.

I felt uneasy after I left. I could tell my reaction had to do with my ego, so I separated myself from it right away. I thought, “This is not the real me, and I don’t want to see Mei through a false self. The ego does not want to be isolated, mistrusted, held in contempt, or feel inferior to others.”

Because I was able to separate myself from my actions, the uneasy feeling wasn’t as strong, but I still couldn’t accept Mei’s behavior. I later recognized that Mei’s demeanor was not the real her, and her human notions influenced her. When I realized what had happened, I was able to forgive her and understand her way of thinking.

The next day, Bing told me Mei had handled her problem well, and that stirred up my ego again. I said Mei’s “private issue” involved me directly, so why couldn’t she talk to me about it? Bing thought Mei hadn’t done anything inappropriate, that I was the one at fault, and that I shouldn’t ask her for anything. I was speechless and stopped insisting. I thought I needed to search inward.

My ego emerged again, and I kept wondering why Mei shared with another practitioner but not with me. I felt she shouldn’t have done that. I knew I should stop having such thoughts, and I tried to reject the false self. Regardless of who’s right or wrong, I must open my heart and forgive her. What should I do? I should look at things from a different perspective.

Master Li (the founder of Falun Dafa) said,

“I disregard the past wrongs of any being in history.” (“Fa Teaching Given at the 2003 Conference in Vancouver, Canada,” Collected Teachings Given Around the World Volume II)

Therefore, I shouldn’t take things to heart, and I must not be affected by others’ mistakes.

How could I do that? Master is capable of saving all beings in the universe because he is able to see through everything. Thus, I should see through this matter based on the Fa.

I thought, “Mei is a practitioner and has human attachments, and the old forces’ factors are at work. She will behave in certain ways until she becomes aware of her acts. I should separate the two and focus on her true heart and not the part that is not cultivated.”

When I recognized the difference in the cause of Mei’s behavior, my ego disappeared, I no longer had negative thoughts about Mei, and I felt at ease.

This incident allowed me to discover the “self” or ego affecting me that had been deeply hidden for many years. I’ve been eliminating it layer by layer while validating Dafa. It’s truly wonderful.

I thank Master from the bottom of my heart for dealing with the issue as a practitioner. I also thank fellow practitioners for dealing with my issue properly.