On the Issue of Flattery

(Minghui.org) After reading the Minghui Editorial “Flattery and Demonic Interference from One’s Own Mind,” I felt that the description in the article was consistent with my own observations. Some practitioners are indeed like that, as if they do not know how to speak without showing off or expressing flattery. As I read the article further, I felt that I may have this issue as well. 

Flattering Others

When I first read about flattery in the article, I thought it had nothing to do with me since I thought I was always being honest. Upon reflecting further, I realized I had been flattering others so often that I did not even notice it. In fact, I often did so to please others for a better relationship. 

Often, after fellow practitioners shared their experiences, I would praise them. Maybe what they talked about was good, but casually trying to please others isn’t a habit to get into. From the lectures of Master Li (the founder of Falun Dafa), we know that any praise is a test for cultivators. Why would we create additional tests for others? Plus, like the Minghui Editorial said, “some flatter others to gain their trust.” If we do this often, we may make it such a habit that we are not able to realize it ourselves. 

There are also other manifestations. When talking with fellow practitioners, I often nodded in agreement at whatever they said. Even when I knew that what they said wasn’t consistent with the Fa teachings, I was reluctant to point it out. I placed sentimentality higher than Dafa. Although that wasn’t flattery per se, the effect could be similar. 

Influenced by my parents, I disliked those who flattered others since childhood. After growing up, however, I gradually began to behave the same way, becoming someone I disapproved of in the past. I also noticed there are many forms of flattery, both direct and indirect. With the moral degeneration of society, some people flatter others or show off whenever they speak. 

Before the Cultural Revolution in the 1960s, many Chinese citizens were modest. They worked hard and seldom flattered others. Several decades have passed and people now consider such modesty as a weakness. They encourage those who are more willing to use flattery. Dafa practitioners began to adopt the same behavior. Some practitioners also use slang which can contain flattery. 

Due to this trend, a modest person like me also started to do the same, saying things like, “Your understanding is good,” “Your daughter is awesome,” or “Your home decor is beautiful.” It was as if there couldn’t be too much flattery. In reality, such insincere behavior contradicts the principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance. [Editor’s note: recognition and encouragement with no selfishness is different from flattery. The latter tends to be false and deceiving.]

Showing Off

The Minghui Editorial also mentioned the issue of showing off. I have this problem also, and sometimes do not realize it. For example, after doing something, I want to tell others about it. Others may not need to know what I'm doing, and the hidden intention is to show off. 

Behind these notions, there was also a hidden thought of competition: my project is important and I have done well. Of course, some practitioners just share their experience with a pure mind and it is different from the situation described here. 

Enjoying Being Flattered

A practitioner once said to me that I was sometimes unhappy because others did not flatter me enough. These words directly hit upon my attachments. It is true that I was occasionally dissatisfied because others did not flatter me or give me enough recognition. That is, they did not do things as I desired. 

This is essentially the notion of being flattered, an attachment deeply rooted in me. In the past, I often remembered every good word that fellow practitioners said about me, such as I was upright and had good insight. I enjoyed it so much that I grew full of myself. I was essentially validating myself, as if I was good in every aspect. 

This situation seems laughable as I look back at it now, but I was lost when it happened. I think other practitioners may also enjoy being flattered, as a way to validate themselves. On the flip side, they develop resentment toward those who make negative comments about them. One of my family members is an example. When others praised her for being upright, she remembered those remarks well. When someone pointed out her shortcomings, she would be upset. Such situations are common. 

Harming Others and Oneself

Master’s teachings taught me that casually praising others is harmful. Master said, 

“They would grow full of themselves from all the praise that they heard, and no longer be respectful of true teachers. Criticism from anyone would upset them. Their attachments to worldly things like status and wealth would grow, and they would think that they outshined everyone else and were something special.” (The Third Talk, Zhuan Falun)

“...one day, out of the blue, you see a towering godly figure come to you. This striking figure might pay you a couple of compliments and then try to impart instruction to you. You might be delighted by this and accept him as your teacher, and proceed to learn from him. But accepting such a being’s instruction would foul up your energy.” (The Sixth Talk, Zhuan Falun)

“Evil entities might also resort to flattering you, telling you what great heights you have reached, or what a special or hallowed figure you are. But all of it will be false. You must break from every attachment to truly make great spiritual progress. So by all means, if you encounter any of the temptations I’ve described, keep up your guard!” (The Sixth Talk, Zhuan Falun)

I think a practitioner must have wisdom to oppose such flattery. Otherwise, we are deceiving ourselves. We need to be clear that flattery can destroy a person instantly. Whoever accepts it will become conceited and lose their direction. Continuing on that path, one might be destroyed completely. It is like a balloon. As we fill it with more and more gas, the volume will continue to grow. In the end, it will explode. 

We should not accept flattery or have the mindset of conceit. Instead, we need to consider ourselves as a speck of dust in the cosmos (in fact, we are much smaller than that). With proper humbleness, we will not be attached to ourselves and we will assimilate better to the Fa. That is true wisdom and true safety. By doing that, we avoid being targeted by the old forces for destruction. There are many such examples already. 

The Minghui Editorial said, “The Chinese word for ‘boast’ (誇) consists of three components: ‘speech’ (言), ‘big’ (大), and ‘loss’ (亏).” My understanding is that flattering others means overstating something, and both sides will lose. For example, the one being flattered would boast and their xinxing level would drop. The one who said those things out of selfishness also accumulates karma for harming others. Therefore, a wise person will remain modest, not flattering others or accepting flattery from others. 

My understanding is that the old forces arranged a number of things to block people from cultivating Dafa, including the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) Party culture, atheism, and demonic culture. When people are brainwashed with these thoughts that deviate from traditional values, it is tough for them to be saved. If a person cannot remain modest, it is difficult to become a good practitioner and cultivate toward divinity. When one flatters others or boosts oneself, they will harm others and hurt themselves.

Simple Relationships

The Minghui Editorial mentioned “The friendship between gentlemen is as light as water.” I think this is an appropriate relationship – simple and pure. There are no strong human notions related to fame or sentimentality. In fact, flattering others or accepting flattery is actually feeding on each other’s human notions. 

Some practitioners work diligently, but do not flatter themselves or others. Without discussing random topics, they are doing well in cultivating speech. One practitioner I know is cooperative when working on Dafa projects. She does not show off or chat about things casually. I think such behavior is more in line with the principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance. 

Summary 

I believe that our cultivation environment should be like a pure land. If it were not for cultivation and returning to divinity, we would not be together in the human world. So, we should be modest instead of adding fuel to our human notions. We are responsible for this. It is just like as the Minghui Editorial states, “Facing the final judgment, everyone will be held accountable for their words and actions.”

I think that the recent Minghui Editorials are helpful to eliminate our human notions. I hope more practitioners will pay attention to them. 

Above are my personal opinions. Please point out anything inappropriate. 

Editor's note: This article only represents the author’s understanding in their current cultivation state meant for sharing among practitioners so that we can “Compare in studying, compare in cultivating.” (“Solid Cultivation,” Hong Yin)