Let Go of Negative Thoughts

(Minghua.org) I have started memorizing the Fa. As a result, I can easily identify problems in my cultivation and promptly rectify them.

While my husband and I were making steamed buns, I praised him on his excellent dough kneading skills, “I can tell that you put a lot of effort into the dough. It seems really soft...”

My husband responded, “But, am I not foolish? I’m working hard while you act as a pampered princess who doesn’t do any hard work.”

I laughed and wondered why he misunderstood me. How could he interpret my words in such a negative and distorted way? I was a little uneasy, and wondered why did I feel this way? Was it an attachment that needed to be removed? Did I have the same shortcomings as my husband? He is like a mirror reflecting my own shortcomings.

Before I could finish the sentence, my husband had interpreted what I said, and developed a negative thought. Wasn’t that what I used to be like? When talking about someone, my first thought would often gravitate toward their negative aspects instead of his/her positive qualities. I used to be someone who spoke harshly and was critical of others.

I felt chills down my spine. How could there still be such impure thoughts within me after cultivating Dafa for such a long time? A few days ago, my father-in-law said, “A father has four sons. The third son is experiencing the worst financial situation, but he’s the one taking care of the father. The eldest son, on the other hand, has the best financial status, but does the least...”

Before my father-in-law could finish, I said, “It’s not because the third child has bad conditions. It’s because he has a noble character.” Suddenly, I wondered if I had also misunderstood my father-in-law. He had mentioned this several times before, and I suspected he might think the third son takes care of his father out of greed for his father’s money. My father-in-law has a relatively good pension. Among the three siblings in my husband’s family, ours has the worst financial condition and we have been taking care of him for many years. I suspected my father-in-law might also believe that we take care of him out of a pursuit for his money.

I felt ashamed. I had interpreted his words and thought negatively before he even finished his sentence, and jumped to conclusions about his intentions. I made the assumption that my father-in-law believed we took care of him out of greed for his money. This might not be fair, as he might have been trying to praise our filial piety. I need to eliminate this negative thinking, and approach the situation positively.

My husband often gets angry with me. Sometimes he criticizes me in front of our children or other people. This time, he accused me of “speaking without thinking.” I wondered why he reacted like that. There are no coincidences in cultivation, and everything should be viewed as an opportunity for improvement. I shouldn’t feel mistreated, or feel resentful of his lack of respect or loss of face. In the past, when things happened like this, I would glare at him and miss opportunities to improve. This time, I need to seize the opportunity to elevate myself in cultivation.

Master said, “You can be sure that whoever your karma is distributed to will feel upset about it.” (The Fourth Talk, Zhuan Falun)

I no longer harbor any resentment toward my husband. Instead, I feel gratitude. I am grateful that he has allowed me to discover my attachment to saving face, the attachment to avoiding criticism, and my habit of speaking ill of others. I recalled what Master said about “...four-for-one deal” (The Fourth Talk, Zhuan Falun). I should thank him.