Eliminating Attachments While Copying the Fa

(Minghui.org) During the past year, I went from being diligent in cultivation to slacking off. After a period of time, I’d be diligent again and then I’d slack off again. This cycle continued.

When I was diligent, I did the five sets of exercises and studied the Fa every day. When I slacked off, I would be on my mobile phone, watching videos, news, and even erotic content. I had a hard time getting up in the morning to do the exercises and couldn’t always study the Fa. Subsequently, my body started to have bad reactions. Then I would try to be diligent again.

Although I looked inward to find my attachments, I was only looking at the surface. I listened to a Minghui podcast and the practitioner mentioned that he had read Zhuan Falun, the main book of Falun Dafa, many times and had become familiar with the content. So when he read the beginning of a sentence, he could easily remember the words that followed. As a result, he didn’t pay attention to what he was reading. I had the same problem for a long time. Sometimes I focused on the number of pages I read, reading the sentences superficially.

When I recognized my problem, I decided to copy the book. When copying the book, I had to concentrate, writing one word at a time. I made mistakes as soon as my mind started to wander.

I am now copying Lecture Four of Zhuan Falun. Although copying is much slower than reading, I see more inner meanings of the Fa. Sometimes a word or phrase can enlighten me. Moreover, I’ve clearly seen many of my attachments: resentment, selfishness, impatience, lust, jealousy, fear, etc. They have not been as apparent as they have now to me!

Selfishness and Resentment

Every now and then I resented my wife and 3-year-old daughter. At times my wife asked me to help her when I was in the middle of something. I would help her, but complain quietly in my mind, thinking that she had interrupted my train of thought.

Sometimes my daughter asked me to play with her, and I’d feel annoyed while playing. Although I had noticed my emotions before, they are now very obvious.

My wife works hard taking care of our child and many things at home so that I can concentrate on my work. I had never put myself in her shoes as I was too selfish to take care of my own things, so I still felt resentment toward her. Such a strong attachment is an obstacle for my cultivation.

I also was resentful when I had to spend time with my daughter after work or on weekends because she was wasting my time and I thought that I could be studying the Fa instead. In reality, when my daughter was sleeping, I was either sleeping or watching videos on the Internet, and rarely read Dafa books. So it was not my daughter who used up my time, but I was the one who slacked off and wasted time.

Attached to Food and Videos

Every now and then on weekends, I like to eat snacks while watching videos, sometimes until 2 or 3 a.m. My wife reminded me to go to bed, but I just ignored her.

Although I knew it was wrong, I was hooked on it. I told myself that I would only watch one and turn it off, but before I knew it several hours had passed. After watching so many videos, I struggled to stay awake for the next few days.

Lust

Besides videos, I also watched pornography. I did regret it afterward, but it didn’t stop me from watching them again, and I couldn’t get rid of the attachment.

After I started to copy the Fa, these attachments were clearly displayed in front of me. As time went by, they have been cut off and can no longer affect me.

I’m not attracted to the videos now. I’m not attached to food, and I don’t want to eat anything else once I’m full. I can see things from my wife and daughter’s perspectives and put them first. I take the initiative to help my wife with some housework and show my care for her, and I play with my daughter. These are things a husband and father should do, but I had drifted away from them amid a busy life. I have now rediscovered them and truly want to do them.

I recently developed cold symptoms, and I could feel bad substances that I had taken in before are being cleaned out now, because my mind is empty when I copy the Fa, and only Dafa words flash through my mind, as there is no more room for the bad substances.

I tried to copy the Fa a few years ago, but I didn’t stick with it. I only copied a dozen pages before giving up. This time around, I have persisted for more than a month.

In the process of copying the Fa, the same issue I had with reading the Fa came up, that is, the pursuit of quantity. I kept counting how many pages I had copied within 30 minutes, how many pages in an hour, and how long it would take to finish a lecture. I tried to speed up my writing.

After discovering this issue, I corrected my thinking and slowed down. As long as there is time, I copy one sentence, even if it’s just one sentence. I no longer calculate how long it would take to finish it, and I write each word one stroke at a time.