Stop Blaming Others and Start Looking Inward

(Minghui.org) I began practicing Falun Dafa after the COVID-19 pandemic broke out in 2020. I recently developed yellow blisters on the inner side of my right index finger. I had blisters before, so I thought they would get better. However, this time they burst and began to fester. I tried to avoid getting any water on the finger, but that didn’t help. Three weeks passed, but they did not heal.

The scabs turned yellow. After they fell off the finger became painful and itchy. That Fall, my rhinitis symptoms became severe. Besides tears and a runny nose, I sneezed continuously. The symptoms were so bad that they began to impact my life, work, and doing the Falun Dafa exercises.

As a practitioner, I realized that these illness symptoms were not trivial matters. I believed that they were caused by my tendency to blame others and myself when I encountered issues. Besides seeing faults in others, I also criticized myself so much that I became exhausted when things did not go well.

Looking Inward to Remove Jealousy, Competitiveness, and Party Culture

I thought these symptoms were hints from Master Li for me to let go of blaming others and myself. When I looked deeper, I found that jealousy and competitiveness were key factors. I felt jealous when I talked to people I felt were capable and felt relieved when I found their deficiencies. I joined a public speaking club to practice my presentation skills, and I became very focused on whether I could win any of the club’s speaking awards.

However, my desire to seek recognition and my striving to win hindered me, and I did not do well. While reviewing myself in the video, I saw that I frowned when I was praising someone. Deep wrinkles or frown lines appeared between my eyebrows. Deep in my heart, I did not appreciate nor was I happy when others did well.

I recently listened to the audio book Disintegrating Party Culture and a fellow practitioner’s experience-sharing article “Removing the Party Culture,” which increased my understanding of the bad influences one receives while growing up in the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) culture.

After I realized these issues, I began examining every thought I had. Interestingly, I found that I would start to sneeze uncontrollably when I thought about someone who made me uncomfortable. I immediately realized that I was judging and blaming the other person. At the same time, I blamed myself for not doing well and hoped for a chance to do things over. I sneezed because the mentality of blame irritated me. I now understand these causes and effects, so I will correct myself based on the Fa.

I also found that I seldom said, “Falun Dafa is good. Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good.” because I did not really believe these words were powerful. No wonder my friends did not take me seriously when I suggested they sincerely recite these phrases.

After identifying the problem, I thought about it and began to say, “Falun Dafa is good. Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good.” One day I said them for five minutes, then fifteen minutes, and then I increased to twenty-five minutes. A miracle happened the next day. The skin on my finger became pink and smooth, and my symptoms of rhinitis almost disappeared.

Treating People with Compassion

When I went to the club the next day to practice public speaking, I reminded myself to listen to other people’s speeches with a smile, let go of accusations, and have compassion for everyone. Surprisingly, I received the top award! I felt very peaceful about the results. I realized that recognition came naturally after I embraced Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance.

This time, I had nothing to blame myself for. I just did my best and enjoyed the process.

I want to thoroughly get rid of my jealousy, competitiveness, zealotry, and CCP culture. I should diligently cultivate myself so I can keep up with the progress of Fa-rectification. I will continue to do the three things well, including studying the Fa, sending forth righteous thoughts, and telling people the truth about Dafa and the persecution.