Being a Caring and Loving Daughter-in-law

(Minghui.org) There is an old proverb in China that the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is the most difficult. But, when my mother-in-law was alive, she would praise me as soon as she met anyone, saying that she was blessed because I was kind to her. My filial piety to her is well-known in the village. Villagers said that the other mothers-in-law complained about their daughters-in-law while my mother-in-law was the only one who praised me all the time. Therefore I would like to share some of how my mother-in-law and I dealt with each other.

Facing Disasters

My husband was electrocuted and died because of an electric leakage from a grinder when building a new house for our family in 1993. He left me with a 14-year-old son, and his 70-year-old mother. My husband had been the bread-winner and the main support of the family. Our family was devastated by his sudden death.

It was very difficult to accept this tragedy. But, seeing my son and mother-in-law, I knew that I had to move on. My breakdown could lead to the ruin of the entire family. I cheered up and supported the family no matter what. We had borrowed money to build the new house. In order to pay the debt, I rented out the store I had operated, and paid the mortgage with the rent. After my husband passed away, I had to deal with everything⸺all the work outside and inside of the house, regardless of whether it should be done by a man or a woman. I was overwhelmed.

My husband was the only son in his family, he had two older sisters and two younger sisters. The four sisters often came to our house to find fault with me and tried to drive me out, so they could get our property. They said that I continued to stay in the house just for the property. Not only did they make trouble for me, but they also badmouthed me to my son who was in junior high school. They claimed that I was terrible, and that I would remarry and find a step father for him, and so on. They even encouraged my son to beat me.

My son used to be a good student who had excellent grades when his father was alive, and he was the head of his class. After his father passed away, his grades plummeted, and he was often in a trance. He would miss the bus stop when he was supposed to get off. Later, he could no longer go to school, and under the instigation of his four aunts, he often beat and scolded me, and sometimes even chased me with an ax.

In desperation, I had no choice but to take my son to a mental hospital. He was diagnosed to be schizophrenic and thus hospitalized. I don’t know what kind of medicine the doctor gave him, but he stopped yelling and beating me, he became silent and seldom talked. After he was discharged from the hospital, he could only stay at home as he was no longer able to interact with people normally. Therefore he dropped out of school.

Given the series of blows, I almost had a mental break down. I shed tears every day, resenting the divine for treating me unfairly.

Seeing me so sad, my friend wanted me to relax and took me to a ballroom to dance. While dancing, I let go of all my pain and troubles. From then on, I spent much time in the dance hall. I felt happiest when I was dancing, and I forgot the pain and suffering in life.

Zhuan Falun Awakened Me

It was October 1, 1997 when my life came to a turning point. I will never forget when because my sister gave me Zhuan Falun, the main book of Falun Dafa.

I only finished my education up to the fourth grade of elementary school, but when I received Zhuan Falun, the blue cover made me feel very good. When I opened the book, I saw that the first sentence of the first lecture was “Genuinely Guiding People Toward High Levels” (Lecture One, Zhuan Falun) I was very excited, but I didn’t know why. That night I started to read Zhuan Falun. Sometimes I would fall asleep while reading, but I would continue to read after waking up.

I finished reading Zhuan Falun within three days. From then on, I couldn’t put It aside. I found in Zhuan Falun, the purpose of life. I learned that Zhuan Falun helps people return to one’s original, true self, which was exactly what I had been looking for. I realized that the reason for all my troubles was that I had to face suffering and misfortune⸺paying for karma I accumulated by doing wrong things in my previous lives. I wanted to follow Dafa’s principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance and be a good person, be a cultivator, to pay off karma, and change back to my original, true self, and return to my real home.

The day I after I obtained Zhuan Falun, I stopped going to the ballroom to dance. My long-term dance partners wondered why I suddenly stopped dancing after so many years. Falun Dafa taught me the true meaning of life and how I should live. I wanted to say goodbye to my old life and follow the principle of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance into my new life.

Being Kind to My Mother-in-law, Paying Debts and Upgrading My Xinxing

My mother-in-law had lived with me since my husband passed away. I took care of her and my son on a daily basis, cooking for them, doing laundry, and other chores. After I started to practice Falun Dafa, I became more peaceful, and took even better care of them.

My husband’s four sisters didn’t support their own mother financially or physically, but bullied me. However, they would often come to my house to have dinner with my mother-in-law at my expense. I used to be full of resentment towards them.

After practicing Dafa, I understood that everything had a karmic relationship. Maybe I had treated them badly in a past life and I needed to pay off the debt in this life. I decided to open my heart, and treat them with kindness, and pay off the debt.

After I changed, the four sisters gradually stopped ridiculing me and bullying me. They were touched after they saw that after many years, I did not remarry, and instead, I took good care of their mother and my son who had schizophrenia. They admitted that they did not treat their mother as well.

My Son Received Blessings

The Chinese Communist Party (CCP) initiated a campaign to persecute Falun Dafa in 1999, but my mother-in-law and my son both supported me in practicing Falun Dafa. They knew well what Dafa is, and that the CCP’s propaganda was fake. They continued to support me even after I was illegally sentenced to a labor camp, and then sentenced to imprisonment for years.

After I was released from the prison, I learned how to operate a computer and how to use the mouse, and eventually, I set up a truth-clarification material production site at home. My son helped me a lot in the process of setting up the production site and took me to buy the consumables, including paper, ink, etc.

Although my son just stayed at home and had no contact with the outside world, he liked Dafa practitioners a lot. As long as any practitioners came to our house, he would be very happy, go out to buy groceries and cook a large number of dishes for practitioners to eat at our home.

When I was illegally taken to a forced labor camp in 2003, my son cried all day long, “Oh my god! I want my mother.” My mother-in-law was old and my son didn’t know how to take care of our household, so the house was a mess. My mother-in-law felt lonely without me to take care of her. Later, she helped find a girl for my son, and they got married. After they married, my daughter-in-law took on my duties, cleaning the house, cooking, doing laundry, and taking care of my son and my mother-in-law.

A few months after they got married, I returned home. I was amazed at how the house was so well organized. I couldn’t believe that my son married to such a nice woman, and I was so happy for them. I knew that this was the blessing my son got from supporting Dafa.

However, they didn’t have a child after marriage. Doctors gave them some treatment and they both had to take medication every day. But they still could not conceive a child. 

I wanted to introduce Falun Dafa to my daughter-in-law, but I was afraid that she would not accept it. She was terrified when she saw me practicing the meditation after I came home from the labor camp. Probably, she had been poisoned by the CCP’s propaganda. Besides, the officers from the labor camp came to our home to threaten her and my son. My sister saw that she was worried about not being able to conceive a child, so she told her to read Falun Dafa books and learn to do the exercises. Surprisingly, she agreed, and started to read Zhuan Falun.

After reading Zhuan Falun, she was very excited and told me that after she moved into our family, she was always dizzy. After reading Zhuan Falun her mind was very clear, she didn’t feel dizzy any longer, but she felt relaxed instead. She not only read Zhuan Falun, but also went out with me to distribute the Dafa truth-clarification informational materials. As a result, not long after she practiced Falun Dafa, she became pregnant and gave birth to a boy. The boy was very healthy and smart. Now he is 16 years old and attends a vocational school.

My Mother-in-law Recited Falun Dafa Is Good

My mother-in-law was always in good health because she believed in Falun Dafa and sincerely recited “Falun Dafa is good, Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good.” At the end of 2009, she was diagnosed with rectal cancer, and the doctor said that she did not have much time left. I accompanied her and took good care of her in the hospital every day.

She made a will while she was hospitalized, and even called a notary officer to notarize it, saying: After her death, her house would pass to my son. She also said that I served her for so many years, and when she passed away, all her belongings would also pass to my son.

She was 89 years old then. After returning home from the hospital, she could only lie in bed, and could only walk a few steps at most. I told her to continue reciting, “Falun Dafa is good, Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good.” She did so, and her life was extended for more than a year.

She passed away peacefully at the age of 90 in 2011. The morning before her death, she told me to call the police to the house. I didn’t know what she was going to do, but I did, and two police officers came. My mother-in-law told them how well I treated her and how I took care of her for so many years. Although she was old and had lost her son, she felt relieved to have me as her daughter-in-law.

After a pause, she said something which I didn’t know about: When she was paralyzed in bed due to rectal cancer, her four daughters came to the house and tried to force her to sign the house over to them. Before they came, they had written a will for her to sign, and tried to force her to press her fingerprint on the will, but my mother-in-law refused to do so.

My mother-in-law told the officers: “When I was hospitalized, my daughters didn’t visit me. Only my daughter-in-law treated me well. I called you here today to ask you to testify if it is needed. After my death, my house will belong to my grandson, her son. I am afraid that after I die, they will come to make trouble for my daughter-in-law, and she will not be able to deal with them alone. You must testify for my daughter-in-law.”

The police recorded and signed it, and said that this would be kept in a case file at the police station, and the record could be found when needed. My mother-in-law was very happy and relaxed after that. She passed away peacefully at about 11 o’clock that night.

Falun Dafa has transformed me. Before, I used to complain about the unfairness I perceived. But now I have become a person who is considerate of others, and has a peaceful and calm mind. The principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance have purified me and washed away all the negative feelings I used to have.