[Celebrating World Falun Dafa Day] From a Hardened Atheist to Steadfastly Practicing Falun Dafa

(Minghui.org) I am 75 years old. I was taught atheism since I was a child, and I worked in the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) system for 30 years. Therefore, I always looked down on people who believed in religion or divine beings. I thought they were stupid.

In 1989, I wasn’t feeling well and I went to a major hospital in the province’s capital city for an examination. I was diagnosed with mitral valve insufficiency and prolapse of the posterior leaflet, causing blood regurgitation, and a Grade 1.5 heart murmur. The doctor said it wasn’t severe enough to be called heart disease. But in the summer of 1996, I felt chest tightness and heart pain, and I went back to that hospital for another examination. This time, I was diagnosed with heart issues causing severe blood reflux, myocardial ischemia, and heart weakness. The doctor said that it was life-threatening, and suggested open heart surgery. He warned me to not lose the opportunity for treatment. I worked in a small county and did not know anyone who’d had heart surgery, so I was terrified.

I went to someone who studied the Book of Changes and told the fortunes for senior officials in Beijing. I asked him to tell my fortune. He said that my lifespan was 51 years and so I would only live three more years. My father also passed away at the age of 51. He told me the only way to avoid this was to find a Chinese medicine doctor in the north, whose name has the character “zi,” three drops of water, and “mu.” I went to a few other fortune tellers, and they all said that I would die when I was 51 years old. I searched everywhere for that Chinese medicine doctor, but could not find him. My health deteriorated with each passing day. 

In the fall of 1996, I was hospitalized for a month due to myocardial ischemia. I was given fructose diphosphate shots to nourish the myocardium. The pain in my heart was alleviated, but one month later my condition worsened again. It felt like a stone was on top of my heart all the time, making it very hard to breathe. My apartment was on the fourth floor, and every time I went home, I needed to rest twice while climbing the stairs. My heart pumped so hard it felt like it was going to come out of my throat. I needed to take tranquilizers to go to sleep, and I sweated profusely when I woke up.

In 1997, I was 49 years old, but I felt like I was about to die. I didn’t think I would make it to 51 years old. I couldn’t take it, so I decided to go to Beijing for heart surgery. I gathered the 100,000 yuan needed for the surgery and contacted the hospital in Beijing. The doctor said that I could come at any time.

I Start Practicing Falun Dafa

When I was about to leave, my older sister came to visit me, and told me not to have the operation. She said, “Practice Falun Dafa with me. I have been practicing for just seven days, and it is miraculous. I used to not be able to eat without first drinking a stone-expelling decoction. Otherwise, my digestion would get blocked. After I started practicing Falun Dafa, I no longer needed it. Not only can I eat rice without any issues, but I can now eat bean buns. Isn’t that a miracle!” I laughed at her and said, “You are a member of the CCP and a state cadre, but you don’t believe in science. Instead you practice superstition!”

Before I finished speaking, she stopped me and said, “What superstition? I underwent a total right mastectomy and a c-section. I still have a palm-sized induration (thickening of the soft tissue) in my lower abdomen. Then I developed gallstones, and the stone grew to the size of my gallbladder. The skin on my gallbladder was attached to the stone and became necrotic. The doctor told me to have the gallbladder removed quickly to prevent cancer. But the pain of surgery was so terrible that I’d rather die than have another surgery. I could not eat bean buns for several years because I could not digest them. You know all this!”

I was very young when my parents passed away. My sister took care of me like my parent, so I respected her. Although I didn’t believe what she said, I knew she was thinking only of my good and I shouldn’t make her angry. I reluctantly went with her to the Fa-study site.

The hostess was my niece. She was in fact the same age as me. She greeted me very happily. Her home was a three-room apartment and she used the largest room for group Fa study. After we chatted a bit, she turned on the TV and sat with me to watch the video of Master Li’s lectures. I felt everything Master talked about was good but I soon fell asleep. I woke up when the first lecture was finished. I felt quite strange that I’d slept so well, but I didn’t think too much about it. I went to my niece’s place to watch the lecture every afternoon for nine consecutive days, and slept for nine afternoons. I completely forgot about taking the tranquilizers and oryzanol and didn’t take a single pill. On the eighth day, I felt like there was a spot in my lower abdomen the size of a fist that was emitting heat, but it felt very comfortable. My heart was no longer uncomfortable, and it didn’t hurt anymore. Because I still didn’t believe it, I didn’t think it was remarkable.

My sister got me a copy of Zhuan Falun and told me to read it carefully every day. I fell asleep each time I read it. Sometimes I was one sentence away from finishing a paragraph, and I really wanted to finish it before falling asleep, but I couldn’t do it. It took me three months to finish reading Zhuan Falun, because I slept so much. My sister asked me how I felt and I said, “I don’t feel uncomfortable anymore. It’s just that I fall asleep whenever I read the book.” She said, “That’s a good thing. There are illnesses in your brain, and Master is correcting the issues for you.” She opened Zhuan Falun and read this part to me, 

“A few individuals may fall asleep and wake up as soon as I finish my lecture. Why is that? It is because their brains have illnesses that need to be treated. One will be unable to stand it if one’s brain is worked on. Therefore, the person must be put into a state of anesthesia so he doesn’t know.” (Lecture Two, Zhuan Falun)

After I’d practiced Falun Dafa for two weeks, I felt that something in my lower abdomen was pumping constantly. Sometimes it would jump outwards, even pushing my belt out. I was a little scared, fearing that there was a tumor in my stomach. So I decided to go to the hospital for an ultrasound. Just as I stepped out the door, my period started. At that time, my period had stopped for more than a year. Why did it come again? I asked the other practitioners, and they all happily said, “Master is restoring your body.”

Just then, my brother called me and said he would fly to Beijing to accompany me for the surgery. I told him, “I decided not to go. I’ve recovered by practicing Falun Dafa.” But I thought, “I need to prepare anyway. I’ll read the Fa (Dafa’s teachings) and do the exercises every day, but if I get sick again, I’ll immediately have the surgery.”

In October 1997, I got Master’s new lecture Teachings at Conferences in the United States from another practitioner, and I read it that night. Master then gave me another push forward and I had another period. At this point, my mind became very clear: I do not want anything else; I just want to practice Falun Dafa.

I actively participated in going to the countryside to introduce Dafa, and I told people about Dafa’s miraculous effect in resolving my illnesses.

Master Helps Me

At first, I had a lot of trouble doing the first standing stance, Holding the Wheel in Front of the Head, of the second exercise. It was very hard for me to hold my hands up for long. I kept having to put them down and rest. One day at the group exercise site, as soon as I lifted my hands in front of my head, I felt two large hands holding my hands there. It lasted for over six minutes. I thought I had to find out who was helping me. So I opened my eyes and saw no one. After the exercises, I asked Xiuling, who was helping practitioners correct their exercise positions, “When I was doing the first stance, was that you who held my hands for more than six minutes?” She said, “No, it was not me. It must have been Master! Everyone else was doing the exercises.” A practitioner whose third eye was open said, “Master was walking around in a white shirt and blue trousers, and was correcting everyone’s movements.”

Meditating was also a big problem for me. There were more than ten practitioners in the Fa-study site. After practicing for a while, most of them were able to sit in the full lotus position. Those who couldn’t sit in full lotus position were able to sit in the half-lotus position for at least 30 minutes. But I couldn’t even sit with my legs loosely crossed for long. I did the exercises every day for three months, but I still couldn’t sit with my legs crossed. I was very discouraged, and felt that I was not meant to practice. One day, we were doing group exercises and I sat with my legs in the loosely crossed position for a while. I couldn’t stand the pain any longer, so I straightened my legs out. I looked around and saw I was the only one who couldn’t do it. I closed my eyes and thought, “I won’t come tomorrow. I just can’t do this.” Just as I had that thought, I felt a hand knock over my leg. I opened my eyes and saw no one. I thought again, “I won’t come tomorrow. I can’t do this.” After a moment, a hand forcefully pulled my shoulder. I immediately opened my eyes and still saw no one. I then suddenly realized, “It must be Master! It’s Master! Master doesn’t want me to leave the Fa-study site.” After we finished meditating, I told the others what happened. They all said, “Master is taking care of you. Don’t worry, just practice slowly, and eventually you will be able to do it.”

So I didn’t leave the Fa-study site. I just did the exercises every day, and tried not to be anxious. At home, I placed a 10-kg rice bag on top of my legs. When I sat down on a chair, I would push my legs downward with my hands. Gradually, my legs became a bit more flexible. It took me more than a year to go from my legs loosely crossed to the half-lotus position, but I still couldn’t do the full lotus. My sister asked me, “Are you afraid of having heart issues when your legs hurt?” I said, “Yes, when my legs really hurt, my heart feels uncomfortable. I’m afraid that I will have a heart attack.” She said, “Being afraid of the illnesses is also an attachment. You need to let go of it.”

She reminded me that Master said, 

“The root cause of your illness has been removed, and what remains is only this bit of black qi that will come out on its own to let you suffer a little and bear a little hardship. It wouldn’t do for you to not bear even a little bit.” (Lecture Two, Zhuan Falun) 

“As a practitioner, your xinxing level should be high. You should not always worry that it is an illness, for this fear of illness is an attachment and it can bring you trouble just the same. In cultivation one needs to eliminate karma, and that is painful. How can one increase gong comfortably? How can one otherwise remove one’s attachments?” (Lecture Six, Zhuan Falun)

My sister asked, “What are you afraid of? We do not have illnesses anymore. It is just the black qi coming out of that field. After the karma is eliminated, it can be transformed into virtue. Master can then help us transform the virtue into Gong (energy). Isn’t that great? Master is here and the Fa is here. Let’s not be afraid of anything!” My sister’s enlightenment quality is very high and she has a great understanding of the Fa. When she reads Zhuan Falun, she saw that there were Buddhas and divine beings behind every character. I understood and I gradually became less afraid. I kept practicing. I gritted my teeth and silently recited Master’s teaching, “When it’s difficult to endure, you can endure it. When it’s impossible to do, you can do it.” (Lecture Nine, Zhuan Falun) 

Now, I am able to sit in the lotus position for an hour.

My illnesses were resolved, and I was able to do all kinds of work. I was able to carry a 25-kg bag of rice from the first floor to the fourth floor. When my workplace organized a vacation to Tai Mountain, I was able to climb to the top. Thank you, Master for your compassionate salvation! Thank you, fellow practitioners for all your help!

Cultivating Myself

I study the Fa a lot every day and always try to cultivate my xinxing according to Master’s teachings.

In 1998, my workplace gave 20 kg of soybean oil to each person as a bonus. When I got to the store to pick up the oil, there was a long line of people waiting for oil. The worker used a pipe to pump oil out of a large vat, and pumped it directly into each person’s container. Then she would weigh it on the scale, and pour some oil in or out to adjust the weight. But when it was my turn, she stopped using the pump. Instead, she used a large measuring cup to pour oil into my container. However, she did it so quickly that she didn’t completely empty all the oil into my barrel before she scooped again. In the end, each of my two 10-kg barrels had about an inch of empty space on top, which was at least 1 kg of oil. Two barrels would amount to a deficit of 2 kg of oil. My heart was pounding. The scale was right in front of me, and I had the price supervision certificate in my pocket. What should I do?

I knew that as a cultivator, I should not fight for things like ordinary people. So I picked up my two barrels and walked out of the store. On my way back, my heart pounded faster and faster, and my mind kept struggling, “I suffered a loss! I have to go back and ask for more oil!” “No, I have to listen to Master’s words, and take the loss with a clear mind. I’m cultivating to divinity, and she’s just an ordinary person! I cannot be the same as an ordinary person.” When I got home, I put the oil into storage, and as soon as I closed the storage door, my mind suddenly changed, “I got an advantage. She gave me less oil, so she lost virtue, which was all given to me.” Then I thought, “If she keeps losing virtue like this, isn’t she going to be in trouble?” I was in tears. I wanted to find a way to tell her the relationship of cause and effect. “But what if she doesn’t listen?” I worried about her all afternoon.

I went to the Fa study site that evening, and we watched Master’s Fa lecture given at the Conference of Changchun Assistants. When Master finished talking, he walked off the stage, and there was a Falun image on the background. I saw there was a small circle at first, and the circle gradually became bigger and bigger. Then, a large stone Buddha statue emerged from the circle. The Buddha was looking at me and smiling. I looked closely at the Buddha, and he was neither Buddha Maitreya with the big belly, or Buddha Shakyamuni. The practitioner in front of me stood up and was getting ready to go home, and she blocked my view. I anxiously said, “Please sit down and look at the big Buddha!” As soon as I said this, the big Buddha disappeared, and the Falun gradually appeared in the circle. Seventeen of us watched the video, and the others all said they only saw the Falun. They said what I saw must be Master. I suddenly realized it: What I saw was Master, and Master is a Buddha! I was so excited.

I told people everywhere that Falun Dafa is a true cultivation practice and Master Li Hongzhi is very special. Some people didn’t understand and said I was mentally ill. Fellow practitioners told me that I should not casually tell people what I saw and that I should talk about Dafa in line with ordinary people’s level of understanding.

I made a big leap in my cultivation, from being an atheist to believing in divine beings, and from only wanting to cure my illness to true cultivation. I decided to steadfastly walk the path to my true home with Master, and I would do whatever Master tells me to do.

In the 26 years since I began to practice Dafa, I have read Zhuan Falun about 1,300 times, hand-copied it three times, and memorized it four times. I have memorized most of “Hong Yin” through “Hong Yin VI.” I rarely miss any of the four times for sending forth righteous thoughts every day. I have also participated in many truth-clarifying projects, such as distributing flyers and clarifying the truth face-to-face. I also cooperate with fellow practitioners to help with the setup and installation of truth-clarifying mobile phones and computers. 

While doing the three things, I try to constantly correct myself according to the Fa. No matter what tribulations I encounter, even when they seem to threaten my life, I just have one firm thought: Only Master can save me. Relying on my faith in Master and the Fa, I overcame these tribulations of life and death one after another, and my life has been extended. I’m now 75 years old. I will continue to work hard, do the three things well, save more people, reach completion of my cultivation path, and return home with Master.

(Selected Submission Celebrating the 24th World Falun Dafa Day on the Minghui website)