Improving Oneself During a Conflict Is Most Important

(Minghui.org) No warning comes before a conflict arrives. To rise above a conflict and to be free of it, we must improve our xinxing and see the truth of the matter thoroughly based on the Fa.

I got into an argument with practitioner Xiangmei today after we finished studying the Fa, due to differences in our understandings of the Fa. During the argument, neither of us could convince the other, and our voices became louder and louder. Our conflict was on full display.

She said, “You have your own understandings, since you have your own path.” Hearing that, I was unhappy and said, “We just have a different understanding of the Fa; how did that evolve into taking our own separate paths?” She felt that what she had said was not right so she apologized to me. On the surface, the conflict had been resolved.

We continued to exchange thoughts, and I mentioned a problem about cooperating with others. She thought that I was pointing out her problems, when in reality that was not true. I was just thinking of how everyone should cooperate well with each other. She wouldn’t let me continue speaking. I stopped speaking but I started to feel uncomfortable in my heart. I thought about leaving that place and did not want to interact with her anymore. However, my rational side stopped me.

While suffering from that uncomfortable feeling, I recalled what Master Li (the founder of Falun Dafa) said in the Fa that we had read earlier, 

“...the worse he made you look and the bigger the ruckus he caused, the more you had to endure, and so he will lose that much more virtue for it—all of which is passed on to you. And while enduring it all, it’s possible it won’t even get to you or weigh on you.” (The Fourth Talk, Zhuan Falun) 

I had a new understanding of the phrase “it won’t even get to you or weigh on you.” I must place no emphasis of that bad element in my heart. I can separate it out from me and discard it. I maintained this thought and that bad element gradually left. After that, my heart no longer felt so uncomfortable.

Xiangmei shared her understanding about “the reworking of your karma” (The Fourth Talk, Zhuan Falun). After hearing that, I asked her calmly, “Was the argument between us the transformation of karma?” She laughed and said yes. I let go of all the bad thoughts that I had about her. If we had not looked at this matter based on the Fa, it would have been impossible for us to have such an outcome.

I calmly thought about our argument. It was actually totally unnecessary, since everyone has their own understandings of the Fa and not everyone will have the same understanding. When I looked within, I saw that I was arguing for my “selfish gains.” I had insisted that my understanding was right and someone else’s understanding was wrong. I had argued to insist that my own understanding be accepted. This exposed an attachment of mine which was deeply hidden, so it was a good thing. Without this argument, I would not have been able to discover this attachment.

When measuring this incident with Master’s Fa, aren’t I accruing karma when I argue for my own understanding (“selfish gains”) like that? I understood that based on the Fa, even if other people say that I am wrong, I should not fight with them and should not place too much emphasis on it. From the surface, it seems that I cannot convince others with my words. In fact, I don’t really lose anything. On the contrary, I maintain and improve my xinxing, and my energy potency also increases. So I actually obtain the most precious thing.

After returning home that night, I thought about this incident again. Xiangmei’s shortcomings kept flashing into my mind like a movie, and the rational side of me kept curbing it. But it still appeared. After that, I had this feeling of wanting to thank her, to thank the practitioner who created this conflict, from the bottom of my heart.

Nothing that we encounter is accidental. Everything is related to our cultivation. Being right or wrong about certain matters is not important. What is important is in the process, whether I cultivated and improved myself.