I Finally Identified My Fundamental Attachment

(Minghui.org) After reading Master’s two recent articles, “Cultivation in Dafa is Serious” and “Stay Far Away From Peril,” I had a deeper understanding of the seriousness of cultivation and the great effort that Master has taken to save people.

I also read some related sharing articles by fellow practitioners. Some talked about how they searched for their fundamental attachments when they were unable to pass cultivation tests. The others were about their understanding of how the old forces took advantage of practitioners’ human notions and attachments, and eliminated unqualified practitioners. I realized that I need to compare myself with Falun Dafa’s standards to find my fundamental attachments.

Since the Chinese Communist Party’s persecution in 1999, many practitioners, including myself, have endured many hardships in our jobs, families and in other environments. Some practitioners might have developed grievances. They wondered why Master didn’t protect them, why they didn’t experience any miracles, or why their righteous thoughts had no effect.

Master said,

“It is you yourself who has the problem; Master doesn’t owe you anything. While Master is saving you, He also bears your sins for you and even finds all kinds of ways to offset your karma—it is you who is indebted to Master.” (“Stay Far Away From Peril”)

I feel these practitioners cannot see that all of their suffering comes from their own karma. They also cannot see what Master has sacrificed and endured for us. They can only feel their own pain. Therefore, as practitioners, we should regard hardship as a good thing. We must do well in cultivation, as it is a life or death matter.

I have been persecuted several times. I have given in to the evil out of fear and other human attachments. I know I have the attachments to comfort, lust, fame, and fortune. But none of these seem to be my fundamental attachment.

I’ve been introverted since I was a child, and I don’t like to communicate with others. I enjoy being free without any restraints. I thought it would be great if everyone lived their own life and did not interfere with each other. I now realized that this is my deepest and most fundamental attachment. Because of this attachment, when I encounter conflicts, instead of looking inward, I try to escape instead of facing the problem. I also avoid arguing with people so I can maintain that surface-level peace.

Moreover, when I see other people’s freedom being deprived and affected, I resent those who took their freedom away. For example, recently many people had their electric bikes confiscated by the police and urban management officials with the excuse that they didn’t meet the new regulations. I felt that those people’s human rights and freedoms were being violated. I was aggrieved and grew resentful of the police and those officials.

When I read articles about the persecution of Falun Dafa practitioners on Minghui, I also felt resentful. When practitioners are being persecuted, what is lost is not just a little bit of freedom: the old forces interfered with Master’s Fa-rectification. My heart is full of resentment towards the old forces and the perpetrators who participated in the persecution. This agitated me to the point that I wasn’t able to calm down and look inward to find my own attachments.

Even though I know I should be benevolent towards those perpetrators, it’s hard to actually do it. When the persecution continued, I felt even more resentful, “Why doesn’t Master destroy the old forces and punish the evildoers? Why don’t those evil policemen receive retribution immediately?” This way I would regain my freedom.

These thoughts are based on the selfish idea of my own freedom. However, I overlooked the fact that nothing a practitioner encounters is accidental. The karma we created must be eliminated and the debts we owe must be repaid. More importantly, we must cultivate to eliminate attachments and improve our xinxing. Master requires us to look inward for our attachments no matter what the circumstances are and only then can we overcome the persecution imposed by the old forces.

Now I understand why I never found my fundamental attachment. I always regarded freedom in life as the truth, unlike other human attachments. I thought that it would be nice if everyone was free and did not interfere with each other. This notion has been affecting me, and made me lose my rationality when I judge things.

Only Master’s Fa is the truth. Practitioners should study the Fa and assimilate to the Fa without forming any human notions in order to fulfill the duty of a Dafa disciple well.