Eliminating Resentment

(Minghui.org) I began practicing Falun Dafa in May 1999. For more than 20 years, Master has been by my side, protecting, enlightening, and strengthening me. I recently discovered that I still have a lot of human attachments. Let me share the process of how, with Master’s strengthening and enlightenment, I got rid of the resentment I had for many years.

My husband and I are now in our 70s. There is one resentment I harbored towards him for many years. More than 20 years ago, I was forced to retire early when I was three years away from retirement age. My son was in college and I needed to pay for his tuition and living expenses. I couldn’t retire. I had to look for another job. My husband retired early, at the age of 55, because he did a special type of work. He never worked a single day after that; instead he spent his days playing mahjong. I resented him for this. After I began to cultivate, I knew I needed to get rid of this resentment. However, I only got rid of the resentment on the surface. I hadn’t truly eliminated it.

I recently began feeling uncomfortable. My right breast felt heavy. I knew it was a hint—I needed to improve. I couldn’t cultivate in such a leisurely manner. When local practitioners discussed our experiences, I explained that I wanted to get rid of all the resentment towards my husband, daughter-in-law, and sisters-in-law; I no longer wanted to hold onto these negative emotions. I also asked Master to strengthen me to clear away these bad things, and eliminate them. These are bad things arranged by the old forces. I only follow Master’s arrangements.

Master said,

“...that you absolutely must not slack off in your cultivation, you absolutely must not slack off in your Fa-study, and that you definitely must do it with all due sincerity. If previously you didn’t study well, you definitely should, once you leave here today and having heard Master address this again, really earnestly study and cultivate, and not let your mind wander. (“Dafa Disciples Must Study the Fa”, Collected Teachings Given Around the World, Volume XI)

After reading this section of the Fa I asked myself: I study the Fa every day, but have I truly obtained the Fa? I decided to improve. I increased the length of time I read the Fa, did the exercises, and sent righteous thoughts.

I apologized to my husband and told him that I was aggressive and the loud one over the years. I said, “I’m sorry. It was all my fault. I’ve always resented you. From now on, I’ll be kind. I’ll get rid of my attachments and bad intentions, including my resentment towards your sisters and daughter-in-law. I will put others before me and think of others first.”

My husband had never heard me apologize before. He was a little uncomfortable and said sincerely, “It’s not all your fault. Over the years, I failed to fulfill my responsibilities as a husband and a father. In fact, I also know that because I did not do well, you were unhappy.” I realized that my husband was also arranged by Master to help me improve. There are karmic relationships between people. Maybe I was not good to others in a previous life, and I had karma to repay or attachments to eliminate.

Dafa is so amazing! After I followed what Master said and looked within, I immediately felt as if a heavy burden was lifted off my body. I felt unwell before, but I did not stop clarifying the truth to people. Now, I feel better, and I want to save more people.

I am grateful from the bottom of my heart for everything Master has endured for us—especially those who failed to fulfill our responsibilities. I deeply feel that being Master’s disciple in this lifetime is my greatest fortune. I will study the Fa well, do the three things that Master asked us to do, keep looking inward, have faith in Master and Dafa, save people, and not cause Master to worry. I wish to cultivate as diligently as I did when I first began practicing.