China Fahui | My Marriage Became Stable after I Eliminated My Attachments

(Minghui.org) Greetings, Master! Greetings, fellow practitioners!

I’m 63 years old and I began practicing Falun Dafa in 1996. On the occasion of the 20th China Fahui hosted by the Minghui website, I would like to tell you how I let go of my attachment to having a comfortable marriage.

Miracles after I Began Practicing Falun Dafa

My husband and I and my in-laws all worked at the same place. Right from the start, my husband and I had a strong and harmonious relationship. He is kind, modest, and capable. After we married, his kindness extended to me and my entire family, and we were happy.

I was diagnosed with tuberculosis when my son was two and a half years old. I coughed, ran a fever, and was in pain. I was hospitalized and had three surgeries. The doctor removed a section from one of my ribs.

While I was recovering, the doctor said I had pleural tuberculosis, which could only be managed with medication. The extended treatment made my stomach, liver, and eyes inflamed. I became weak and could not sleep. Taking care of my child was daunting, especially with my husband working out of town. My mother had to help me. I couldn’t climb stairs or lift anything. Life seemed unbearably bitter.

In August 1996, my mother began practicing Falun Dafa and praised its health benefits. Intrigued, I read the introductory book Falun Gong, which deeply touched me. My mother taught me to meditate. When I meditated, I entered a state of tranquility and experienced a profound sense of relaxation.

After I began practicing, my pain and illness gradually disappeared. My health improved significantly. I felt energetic and stopped taking medicine.

In 1998, at the annual physical exam at my workplace, all of my health indicators were normal. The doctors couldn’t believe it: The section of my rib that was removed had grown back!

Support from My Husband

My husband was well aware of the torment caused by my illness, and he endured a great deal with me. Witnessing the miracles that occurred after I began practicing, he stood by me, especially during the early stages of the Chinese Communist Party (CCP)’s persecution of Falun Dafa. He actively assisted me in clarifying the truth about Falun Dafa to others.

When the CCP initiated the persecution in 1999, practitioners used various means to clarify the truth, and some went to Beijing to seek justice for Dafa. The CCP issued orders to every workplace to monitor practitioners. Failure to comply would result in intensified persecution, and the leaders at all levels were threatened with persecution.

On February 2, 2000, around the Chinese New Year, I once again took the train to Beijing with five other practitioners to petition. I was arrested and taken back home to the local police station. I was illegally detained for 55 days. My family had to pay nearly four thousand yuan and I was released.

When I returned home, my workplace leader told my husband to stay home and watch me, in order to prevent me from going to Beijing again. They threatened to fire him if he failed to comply.

My husband stood firmly on the law and human rights. He said, “This violates the law. The Chinese Constitution guarantees freedom of belief. My wife was gravely ill, but her illnesses were resolved after she began practicing Falun Dafa. I witnessed this. I understand and support her practice.”

Faced with my husband’s unwavering support, the leader remained silent. Despite repeated requests from the police that my husband monitor me, he refused. My husband’s unwavering support comforted and encouraged me.

My husband joined our efforts to rescue fellow practitioners, and became our driver. Unfortunately, we were all arrested, and my husband was detained for 20 days. After his release, he went to another city to work. When I visited, he appeared visibly depressed but remained silent. Afterwards, he no longer offered to help practitioners.

Marital Challenges

I was repeatedly arrested and detained because I refused to stop practicing. My home was ransacked many times, and I was extorted a significant amount of money. The constant worry and fear experienced by my family and friends took a toll. My husband endured a great deal, but never complained. In my single-minded pursuit of validating the Fa, I neglected him.

When he returned home for the holidays, he told me he was seeing another woman and wanted to divorce me. He said he was tired of living with the intense pressure my practicing placed him under. Although I was shocked, I realized it was a test and I remained calm.

He listened quietly as I firmly said, “We cannot get divorced. Our relationship has always been strong, and it’s not something we can just walk away from. I can’t accept it, and I won’t accept it!” He responded, “All right then.” After the holidays, he returned to work in the other city.

After he left, my heart churned and I couldn’t calm down. I was angry and indignant. I resented the woman he was involved with.

While I understood my husband’s fear of persecution, the affair and his asking for divorce took me by surprise. Recalling the challenges we weathered together, I held our marriage in high regard, and felt our relationship was stable. I also did not want my friends and relatives to think badly of Falun Dafa.

I decided to focus on doing the three things well. During this time, my child underwent two surgeries, and I longed for my husband’s support. I felt a profound sense of loss and pain.

Whenever my husband returned home, he asked for a divorce and said he was still seeing the other woman.

I lengthened the time I sent righteous thoughts to eliminate my jealousy, resentment, competition, and lust. I had numerous heartfelt conversations with my husband and wrote a letter to the other woman.

Once when my husband returned home, I organized a dinner at a restaurant, and invited a local practitioner couple to join us. After they talked with him my husband stopped asking for a divorce. However, his visits home became less frequent, and he finally stopped coming home.

The ongoing emotional strain left me physically and mentally drained. I sometimes felt depressed and thought, “It doesn’t matter. I’ll just let it go.”

I had a vivid dream in which I was a man who left home. I abandoned my wife who eventually passed away while sorrowfully waiting for me. I wished to see her one last time, and hurried home. When I uncovered her face, it was my husband in this lifetime.

I realized the old forces arranged this tribulation. While the test might help my personal cultivation, I understood that because of our mission of assisting Master in rectifying the Fa and saving all sentient beings, such arrangements were interference.

I decided to let go of my attachment to my marriage and regard the tribulation with righteous thoughts. The old forces sought to exploit my vulnerabilities and tarnish the reputation of practitioners. This interference was unacceptable, and I decided to deny it. I continued to focus on improving myself, and do the three things well. I stopped worrying about whether my husband would ever return home.

As soon as I let go of my attachments, my husband returned for New Year’s Eve. He purchased groceries and cooked meals as if nothing ever happened. The looming divorce dissipated like a fleeting dream.

Cultivating in a Family Setting

In recent years, especially before my husband retired, I had a simple life and maintained a busy and structured routine.

Mornings were dedicated to practicing the exercises, followed by participating in various Fa study groups. After a brief lunch break, I go out and talk to people about Falun Dafa. I participated in a few smaller Fa study groups in the evening, usually returning home around 9:00 or 10:00 p.m.

When I lived alone, my meals were simple, and household chores were manageable. However, with my husband’s presence, I recognized the need to take on more responsibilities. I took charge of preparing meals and managing all the household work. I sometimes postponed the housework until evening after returning from the group Fa study.

My husband expressed his frustration, “You are busier than the prime minister, and our home has become like a hotel for you. What kind of life are you leading? You can’t do housework at night; it will disturb the neighbors. Can’t you go out after doing the dishes?”

I failed to control my temper and retorted, “Do it yourself if you don’t like how I do the dishes. Don’t complain if you’re not willing to help.”

I immediately recognized my lapse and realized I should not have talked back. Realizing my husband lacked understanding about the reasons behind my daily routine, I calmly apologized, “I’m sorry. You are correct; I have been late with the housework, and it affects the neighbors. I will make an effort to complete the housework in a timely manner from now on.”

I then elaborated on why I needed to go out to study the Fa with fellow practitioners in the evening. I emphasized that senior practitioners in those study groups required assistance and encouragement, especially during challenging times.

As I explained why, I considered him someone who came for the Fa. Even though he does not practice, I believed he could share some responsibilities. I emphasized that if family members of Dafa disciples contribute to household chores, they can accumulate virtue.

I made a sincere effort to do better at home. Whenever time permitted, I cooked delicious meals for my husband. By making sure he knew when I’d return, I alleviated his concerns. Over time, my husband better understood my activities, the reason I did things, and how he could offer support.

I was initially responsible for all the household chores and groceries, but now my husband actively helps, and lightens my load significantly. When I need to be away longer than usual, he reassures me, “It’s okay, don’t worry about me; just focus on staying safe.”

During a roof renovation conducted by the residential management company, I asked my husband to remove the television receiver so it wouldn’t be damaged. However, when I returned home, I noticed a crane parked in front of our building, but the receiver was still in place. I asked my husband, “Why haven’t you taken the receiver down? The renovation has already begun.”

He said, “They said they weren’t going to start today.” Realizing my error, I promptly apologized, acknowledging my inappropriate tone. I said, “I’ve been practicing for over 20 years, but I still can’t handle this well.” To my surprise, my husband calmly responded, “You’ve done pretty well!” It dawned on me that he genuinely recognized Dafa disciples from the depths of his heart.

Through numerous instances like these, each giving me the valuable opportunity to let go of my attachments and improve myself, I kept looking inward. As my husband witnessed the ongoing changes in me, he, too, underwent a radical change in his perspective and behavior.

He now actively assists me in various ways. When I can’t make it to the Fa study group, he goes on my behalf and tells them (given safety concerns, we avoid using cell phones for sensitive discussions). He also helps deliver items to the other practitioners. When I need to visit practitioners’ homes I haven’t been to before, he accompanies me to ensure my safety.

My husband’s support stemmed from our marital relationship in the early stages of the persecution. On the surface it’s an expression of affection between husband and wife. However, his assistance is not just for me but to validate the Fa. He wholeheartedly helps as long as it contributes to saving people. My husband genuinely understands that Dafa disciples are virtuous, and clarifying the truth to people is noble.

I can now dedicate myself fully to validating the Fa without burdens on my mind, and my environment is relaxed and focused.