(Minghui.org) Greetings, esteemed Master! Greetings, fellow practitioners!
I began to practice Falun Dafa in 1996. I only went to primary school. In my 27 years of cultivation, I overcame huge tests, one after another, through my faith in Master Li (the founder of Falun Dafa) and the Fa. Master always protects us disciples.
Illness and Broken Marriage
My husband and I ran a passenger transport business. After I began to practice Falun Dafa, I seized every opportunity to study the Fa and do the Falun Dafa exercises. Balancing my time was challenging, but my heart was filled with joy. Our business thrived. Besides earning enough money to feed our family, in 2011, we bought a newly renovated property in the city. The owner was in a hurry to sell and the price was reasonable.
However, the good times did not last long. Soon after we moved into the new place, I discovered my husband was having an affair with our business partner. I was at a loss. I tried to forbear and regard this as a cultivation opportunity. My righteous thoughts were strengthened after I discussed the situation with other practitioners. But when my husband behaved brazenly and shamelessly, I became resentful and jealous. I was able to control myself at times but other times I wept. As I could not let go of my emotions, the old forces manipulated my husband, who followed society’s deteriorating moral values, and he divorced me.
The ensuing financial losses and mental blow led to health problems: I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I also had heart problems and my uterus dropped [uterine prolapse]. In addition, I often had stomach pain. I knew that if things went on like that, I would lose my life. Even though he knew how sick I was, my husband still left me.
I wept until I had no more tears. I even thought about ending my life, but I reminded myself that I was a Dafa practitioner, and I cannot do things that would bring shame to Dafa! My only emotional support was Falun Dafa.
My son and daughter-in-law went elsewhere for work and left their eight-month-old daughter in my care. My husband’s heartless departure, and the illness symptoms made me feel like I was buried in troubles. When my husband left me for another woman I understood what Master said:
“Nowadays people consider emotional feelings really important, yet they are one of the most unreliable things.” (“Fa Teaching Given at the Meeting with Asia-Pacific Practitioners,” Collected Teachings Given Around the World Volume VI)
Forging Ahead in Cultivation
I started to cultivate diligently. Besides taking care of my granddaughter, I read the Fa teachings, did the exercises, and sent righteous thoughts to deny the old forces’ persecution of my body. My granddaughter was very obedient, and after I fed her, she happily played by herself while I read the Fa. When she slept, I studied the Fa and sent righteous thoughts. After a short nap, I woke up and did the exercises. I usually only slept two or three hours a day. I attended group study and sent righteous thoughts with other practitioners whenever possible. I never regarded my physical discomfort as illness and did not even think about going to the hospital. I did not tell practitioners about my physical troubles either. I was determined to cultivate to the end and leave everything to Master. I would only walk the path arranged by Master.
When it seemed like my situation couldn’t get any worse, practitioners learned I was taking care of my granddaughter on my own. They came to my place every night to study the Fa and send righteous thoughts with me. They left after sending righteous thoughts at midnight. They only knew of my family problems but did not know of my battle with illness. Their arrival was a great encouragement and boost to my cultivation. It snowed so hard one winter night and was so cold and windy that I was sure they wouldn’t come that day. But at 8:30 p.m, as I was getting ready to go to bed, they arrived, one after the other. I was moved. We read Master’s teachings and sent righteous thoughts together as usual. This went on for over three weeks.
Afterward, my mind was much clearer. I felt better and this boosted my confidence. Later on, I enlightened that Master, who was worried it would be too difficult for me to pass the test alone, had arranged all this. Thank you, Master, for your protection! Thank you, practitioners, for your help!
Practitioners in my area were clarifying the truth to people by sending letters to public security bureaus and procuratorates. For security reasons, letters written to departments in one area had to be posted from another area. Because I once ran a business in passenger transport, I was familiar with transport lines in the city and, in particular, where the mailboxes were located. I took on the responsibility of dropping off these truth-clarification letters.
Practitioners handed me letters as they wrote them, and every week, I mailed them in different cities, taking my granddaughter with me. Because I could only drop off one or two letters in one mailbox and then take public transport to another mailbox to drop off more letters, it took me the entire day to mail them all. When I got on and off the bus, I had to lift my granddaughter’s pram. At times, I strained too much and I had symptoms of uterine prolapse. It was a bit easier in winter but especially hard in summer. Yet it never bothered me because I was saving people. I silently sent righteous thoughts to deny the old forces’ persecution of my body. I persisted whether it was bitter winter or hot summer.
I reminded myself I was practitioner, had faith in Master, and made full use of my time to do the three things. My health issues gradually disappeared. Not only did I take my granddaughter to and from kindergarten, because my son-in-law worked in another city, sometimes when my daughter could not take their son to work, she took him to me to look after. I always tried my best to help my children as I wanted them to know Dafa is good.
Getting Back with My Husband
A few years passed, and my husband showed up at my granddaughter’s kindergarten to talk to me. He wanted to come home but I turned him down. He tried to give me money but I refused to take it. I did not want him to disrupt my life again. After going through these tribulations, I regarded emotion lightly and I only wanted to follow Master. However, I recalled how friends and relatives looked at me strangely. I felt I could not hold my head up. On top of that, my daughter-in-law wanted to have a second child. I did not have a pension and my son had to pay my living expenses besides paying a mortgage. As a result, they resented me and thought I was responsible for their financial hardship.
In 2019, my husband phoned and begged me to let him return home. He promised to change his ways. I had matured a lot in my cultivation over the years. I recalled that my husband had always supported me in my cultivation. One time, he looked at me as I was meditating and said in surprise, “You look so beautiful!” I knew he saw my cultivated side. He also said that the characters in Zhuan Falun were golden and shining. I felt it showed he had good inborn quality. He was just lost in the human world. My heart was filled with compassion, and I knew I must be responsible to my husband and let my family members understand me. I let go of anger and resentment and took him back.
After he came back, we remarried. We also repaid his 40,000-yuan debt. However, after a period of time, my husband let me down again and rekindled his affair with the other woman. It got worse, as if everything was happening again. I was distressed. I had treated him with such kindness—why did this happen again?
It was 2020 when the COVID pandemic broke out and lockdowns were imposed. My son and daughter-in-law stayed at home to take care of their daughter and I had a lot of time to study the Fa. Besides reading Zhuan Falun, I read all of Master’s other books. I sent righteous thoughts for an hour every day to eliminate the old forces who manipulated my husband and interfered in my doing the three things. I could not allow such sins to appear in my dimensional field.
At the same time, I looked within and scrutinized my thoughts: I recalled that when I first found out about my husband’s affair, there was always resentment in my heart. When he left me, I appeared to have let things go, but in reality, I avoided conflicts and pursued temporary peace of mind. I had not eliminated my attachment at its root. When I took my husband in again, it was to save face because I was tired of being looked down on. I hoped my husband could help my son and daughter-in-law financially upon his return to the family. I had not let go of my emotions. The old forces clearly saw my filthy thoughts.
“No matter what it is you have encountered as you’ve gone about validating the Fa, it is all, I will tell you, a good thing—and that’s especially so in these years of persecution—for those things have come about specifically because you do cultivation. Those ordeals and the suffering, no matter how great or harsh you find them to be, are good things, because they take place solely on account of your cultivation. A person can eliminate karma and shed human attachments when he goes through ordeals, and through ordeals he can improve.” (“Fa Teaching at the 2008 New York Conference,” Fa Teaching at the 2008 New York Conference)
I knew I must work hard on improving my moral character if I were to head towards the divine. I should regard bad things as good, get rid of attachments, and regard ordeals as opportunities to improve. I must let go of the hurt my husband’s behavior caused me, that deep pain and resentment. Whenever I could not eliminate my hatred, I sent righteous thoughts. Whenever it popped up, I would think, “This heart of resentment must die.”
I also found that I was very suspicious. Whenever something happened I would think of the worst case scenario instead of seeing it with righteous thoughts. This suspicious mind played a big part in my husband’s affair. I also found jealousy and a competitive mentality, among my other attachments. Whenever I found a human thought, I would seize it and eliminate it. I examined myself using the Fa and got rid of attachments bit by bit. When I truly worked on improving my character, Master saw my heart and resolved my problems. My husband returned home.
I now do the three things steadily while taking care of my granddaughter who is a year and a half old. My husband hurries home after work to help me take care of her and supports me in my cultivation. My daughter and daughter-in-law used to refuse to speak to each other, but after I improved in cultivation, they started to get along.
I know Master has done a lot for me throughout my tribulations over the past ten years. The only way I can repay Master is to cultivate diligently!
These are my personal understandings. Please kindly point it out if anything is not on the Fa.
Thank you, Master! Thank you, fellow practitioners!
Copyright © 2023 Minghui.org. All rights reserved.