Taking Losses Lightly and Handling Family Conflicts with Kindness

(Minghui.org) After starting to practice Falun Dafa in 1997, I have been thankful to Master Li (the founder of Falun Dafa) for teaching me to be a good person. In the two stories below, I was able to take the loss of my own interests lightly and put others first.

Letting Go of Resentment Following a Medical Error

When delivering my baby in 1996, a doctor in training left half of the needle in my body when she sewed me up. Without using anesthetics, she removed the stitches, took out the needle and sewed me back up again. The pain was excruciating.

I thought the incident was over, but was devastated to find myself unable to urinate no matter how hard I tried. The next day, I discharged a hemostatic gauze soaked with blood. Since then, I’ve struggled with a number of conditions, including difficulty turning over when sleeping and abdominal pain when walking.

My husband took me to see many doctors. When Western medical doctors could not help, we turned to Chinese medicine doctors. We also tried folk medicines, acupuncture, and herbal soups. We spent lots of money, but there was no improvement.

Just as I was beginning to lose all hope, someone recommended Falun Dafa to me. I learned the exercise and read the books. Not long after that, I suddenly realized that I was able to turn over in bed with ease and I no longer had pain when walking. I could even carry a bucket of coal for cooking all the way to the fourth floor. I was grateful for all these changes.

Then another incident happened. When my husband and I took our son to visit his parents that winter, we were hit by a car and the driver ran away. Upon standing up, I surprisingly found myself all right except for some dirt on me. My son was fine too. Enraged by the hit-and-run accident, my husband was eager to find the driver and teach him a lesson.

I explained the Dafa principles that I had learned to my husband. “All tribulations and hardship that we encounter are the result of our own karma. When things like this happened, it was for me to pay off my karma. True Falun Dafa practitioners are protected by Master Li. Without Master’s help, I would have probably died already.” My husband agreed.

I also let go of the resentment that I had harbored toward my mother-in-law. I had planned to deliver my child at a major hospital. But she thought it was too far and did not agree. We ended up going to the local hospital, where I experienced this horrible medical error. It was not until after I began to cultivate Dafa solidly that I was able to relinquish such resentment.

Family Conflict Over an Apartment

In the early 1990s, the purchase of a house was tightly controlled. My husband and I could only buy an old apartment with no heating under his father’s name, and we made all the payments. Six years later, we bought a new apartment with heating under my husband’s name. We then sold the old unit to my brother. Because of tight regulations, we couldn’t transfer the title from my father-in-law to my brother, even though they had paid the money to us.

Another four years passed and my husband died due to an accident at work when I was 35. By then, the paperwork for us to transfer the apartment title to my brother was only half way completed. At that time, I hadn’t been working for years and my son was in elementary school. The mortgage of the new apartment was not paid off yet. The compensation from my husband’s workplace for his death was very little. As a practitioner, I did not go to his workplace crying for more money like others.

Life was not easy. Still, I knew I needed to follow Falun Dafa’s principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance. Out of the compensation from my husband’s workplace, I took 40,000 yuan and gave it to my parents-in-law. They were already in their 70s and my husband always treated them well. Had I not been a Dafa practitioner, I would not have given them anything.

When I tried to work with my father-in-law to finish the paperwork to transfer the apartment title to my brother, my in-law changed his mind. He said the apartment was his and asked my brother’s family to move out.

My sister-in-law was furious. “We paid the money a long time ago and have been waiting for the title transfer. Even if you return the money to us now, we wouldn’t be able to buy an apartment for the same price.”

It was difficult for me because I was in the middle of all of this. A friend suggested that I reason with my parents-in-law, and fight with them if needed. But as a Dafa practitioner, I need to follow the principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance.

While comforting my brother and his wife, I also visited my parents-in-law from time to time. I bought them gifts and took my son with me. But they were very cold to me, as well as their grandson.

Many times, I cried after visiting my husband’s parents. I said to Master Li in my heart, “Master, my son and I have a hard time making ends meet. I always spent money on my parents-in-law, but they treat me so badly. What should I do?”

Then I remembered Dafa’s teaching to consider others first. Neither of my parents-in-law nor my brother’s family were easy to get along with. Maybe I should do more to help solve these issues.

I found a job to support the family and I continued to visit my in-laws on a regular basis and buy things for them. Meanwhile, my brother and sister-in-law kept demanding that I finish the paperwork, while my parents-in-law often went to their home and ordered them to move out. No matter what they did, I always tried to treat both sides well and mediated the conflicts between them.

After six years, my in-laws were finally moved. They asked my brother for 10,000 yuan to complete the paperwork. Of course, I paid the money for my brother.

Presently, I still visit my parents-in-law with my son on holidays. They treat me better than what they did in the past. Time goes quickly and my son has gone to college and later found a job.

It has been 17 years since my husband died. In the year before last, my mother-in-law planned to give my son 100,000 yuan, but was stopped by her other son. Some friends suggested that I find ways to get the money. As a Dafa practitioner, I would not do that. After all, I have practiced Dafa for 26 years and I should most certainly be a good person.

My parents gave their apartment to my other brother. After my father died, my mother, who has a bad temper, was at odds with my sisters-in-law. I invited her to live with me and I would take care of her. There have been many conflicts between me and her as well, but I maintained my xinxing and took good care of her. It has been eight years now. During that time, my brothers did not help with anything, nor did they provide any financial support.

Had it not been for Falun Dafa, I would not have handled family matters in such a good way. Looking back on my cultivation path, I am thankful that Dafa has taught me to be a good person, a loyal wife, a responsible mother, and a dutiful daughter-in-law. Thank you for everything, Master Li!