(Minghui.org) I recently listened to a podcast on Minghui.org. It mentioned that there are a group of practitioners who repeatedly compromised with the evil, wrote statements to renounce Dafa, and then casually submitted statements to Minghui to void their renouncement.

I was shocked when I heard it, because I am one such practitioner. I felt the article was specifically written for me. Master (the founder of Falun Dafa) was using a fellow’s practitioner sharing to help me realize such a big loophole in my cultivation all these years. 

I started practicing Dafa in 1997. Many of my ailments disappeared shortly after. I was very grateful for Dafa for the improvements in my health, but I didn’t develop a deeper understanding of the Fa principles.

When the persecution started two years later, I couldn’t maintain firm righteous thoughts due to my lack of a rational understanding of Dafa. I was overwhelmed by attachments and fear. In the face of the mounting pressure, I repeatedly wrote statements to renounce Dafa. 

In fact, for all these years, the time I compromised with the evil kept replaying itself in my mind. But because of my attachment to comfort, I didn’t take it seriously. I also published several “solemn statements” on Minghui.org, but that was no more than just going through motions. Blinded by the warped notions of the Party culture, I didn’t understand how serious renouncing Dafa is.

Master said, 

“But as for those who have gone over to the opposite side and written something for the evil, what can we do about the stain? What can we do about those who had earlier benefited from Dafa and then didn’t validate the Fa during the persecution? They have to be given a chance, right?” (Teachings at the 2005 Conference in San Francisco)

I appreciate Master for giving me this opportunity to improve my understanding and make up for my mistake. I hope fellow practitioners who have made similar mistakes can realize the seriousness of it and truly catch up with your cultivation.

Before this realization, I never truly treasured Dafa or assimilated myself to the Fa. When I encountered a test, I usually failed to behave as a practitioner and would go along with my human attachments for a happy life and give in to the fear of being tortured. Yet I still felt good about myself and looked down on others. When I hold onto so many attachments, how I can do my part as a Dafa disciple and fulfill my historic mission?

Thank you, Master, for never giving up on me and still protecting me all these years. Only when I truly cultivate myself and let go of my attachments can I repay Master’s saving grace.

Editor’s note: This article only represents the author’s understanding in their current cultivation state meant for sharing among practitioners so that we can “Compare in studying, compare in cultivating.” (“Solid Cultivation,” Hong Yin)