At 90, Finding My Attachment to Thinking I Am Old

(Minghui.org) I used to have an unusual condition that people called “black disease.” I went all over the place looking for a cure. None of the doctors could help me, and some hadn’t even heard of the illness. After I began practicing Falun Dafa in 1996, the ailment went away. My family, colleagues, and neighbors witnessed the miraculousness of Dafa.

My family was very supportive of me being an adherent of Falun Dafa, so I set up a Fa-study group in my home. For the past 26 years, safeguarded by benevolent Master Li and even under the most serious persecution in China, we have never canceled a single group study session.

I am 90 now and was thinking that I am very old. I knew few people who were close to my age or older. Gradually, I stopped going out. I also stopped doing the five exercises each day. I then began to have difficulty walking.

One day, I passed out and fell down in the bathroom. My family was scared and called for the doctor. The doctor said that I had high blood pressure and prescribed a lot of pills. Although I hadn’t been cultivating well, I had cultivated for over 20 years, and I knew that Master Li always protected me.

I didn’t want to take any pills or go to the hospital. But I still worried that I would fall again, and my family didn’t want to ever leave me alone. Sometimes I wet my bed at night. Because of that, I felt I was a burden to my children. However, they said, “You should feel content. For your age, you are doing pretty well.”

Because I wasn’t regarding these troubles and the interference from a cultivator’s perspective, I felt at a loss. I always considered myself to be “old.” I also complained to Master’s portrait, saying that if I were younger, I would be able to cultivate better.

One time, I stood on the radiator in my bedroom to open a window and ended up taking a pretty bad fall. I couldn’t move my legs, so I lay in bed and didn’t get up. This seriously hindered my ability to study Zhuan Falun and do the exercises. I lacked righteous thoughts and confidence in Master Li and the Fa. But deep down, I firmly believed that Master was continuing to take care of me, and that thought never wavered.

I recalled something Master said:

“As you may know, Zhang Sanfeng attained the Dao in his seventies, and he lived for one hundred and thirty-some years. He formally started cultivation when he was over seventy.” (Teachings at the Midwestern U.S. Conference)

I realized that I was only 90 and that I cultivate the Great Law, so I am not old.

Through looking inward, I realized that, fundamentally, I hadn’t been treating myself as a true Falun Dafa adherent, which, in turn, prevented me from having complete faith in Master Li and Dafa. I found my biggest attachment, which was that I always felt that, because of my age, I would run out of time and wouldn’t be able to return home with Master. It was this unrighteous thought that brought on this tribulation.

I should not acknowledge that I am old in human years, as I am not a regular person, but a practitioner. Master is in complete charge of me; I belong to Dafa.

I studied as much Fa as possible, and fellow practitioners helped me send righteous thoughts. My legs recovered very quickly and I could walk again. If I were not a Falun Dafa cultivator, I wouldn’t have understood the purpose of the troubles and interference. I came to understand that they were part of my cultivation process. Benevolent Master enlightened and protected me, so I could truly understand where I fell short in my cultivation. My new understanding also turned a bad thing into a good one, so that I could improve in the Fa.

Thank you, Master Li, for your benevolent saving grace.